When I was a fresh college graduate, interviewing for my first full-time job, I thought about my mother’s interview do’s and don’ts. Don’t wear anything that could reveal tattoos. Don’t start with asking questions about salary. And always — she stressed this above all else — mail a physical thank-you note the next day.
In the years since I entered the job market, interview etiquette norms have changed dramatically. While each sector, field, and company may have its own rules, former no-nos like tattoos and dyed hair often aren’t deal-breakers. And many interviews take place over Zoom, which introduces a whole new slate of do’s and don’ts.
But not everyone agrees on which rules to keep and which to toss out.
In a video posted on TikTok last week, recruiter Caitlin Wehniainen introduced a new one: Don’t carry an iced coffee into an interview. Walking in to shake hands while juggling a drink can make a big moment seem like just “another stop on your list of errands for the day,” she said.
The comments section under her original video exploded. One recruiter agreed that bringing an iced coffee into a meeting can be distracting; one poster asked, “Are you expecting my whole day to revolve around a 30 min meeting?” Satires and skits have spoofed both Gen Z jobseekers and corporate overlords.
Wehniainen has since posted a follow-up video, saying she wasn’t trying to stoke the flames for the sake of likes and reposts.
“When you really want a job offer, you need to know certain ways of going about the process and that helps you build confidence, when you know what to expect going in the door,” she said.
The video and the ensuing debate have exposed a greater challenge: How do you navigate ever-changing interview etiquette when the job hunt can already be so confusing, discouraging, and exhausting?
“Norms are constantly changing to the ways we do business and technology,” said Keva Dine, a recruiter and founder of the Keva Dine Agency. “There’s a desperation, and everyone is applying to everything. They’re throwing darts in the dark.”
In Dine’s view, anything you can do to stick out in a good way is a plus. Wearing business attire to an interview or sending a thank-you note the next day may not be the standard in every workplace, but often they can help. When people rely on AI-generated cover letters or apply to jobs without researching the company, they’re much more likely to get lost in the shuffle.
If you’re interviewing on a video call, keeping the camera on during a video and tidying up the Zoom background are non-negotiables, said Juliet Murphy, an executive career coach based in Irvine, Calif.
“Put in a bit of extra effort,” she said. “You need to let the other person know how seriously you’re taking the role.”
In her 15 years working in corporate human resources and recruitment, Vicki Salemi never clocked the beverage in a candidate’s hand. But Salemi, now a career expert at the job site Monster, said she did notice seemingly small things, like how they greeted the reception desk and how they behaved in the lobby waiting area. Those things matter when you’re bringing someone into a workplace, she said.
“Your behavior and your etiquette are part of the package,” she said.
And if a candidate doesn’t like a company’s stance on these norms — the iced coffee included — the in-person interview is an opportunity to evaluate that up close.
“The interview has always been a place to assess fit, both for the applicant and for the company,” said Sara McCord, a former career columnist and founder and CEO of Sara McCord Communications. “If there’s an immediate, visceral reaction on either end — a company doesn’t want a candidate who brings an iced latte, a candidate doesn’t want somewhere where the company cares — that’s actually specifically, exactly how the interview is supposed to work.”
