DEAR ABBY: I am a 79-year-old woman who, over time, has suffered the loss of several family members. Now I’m facing the worst loss imaginable. A year ago, my 24-year-old grandson “Rafe” cut himself off from his father and from me. Until then, we had been a close, loving family who did things together. Rafe and his girlfriend live rent-free in my son’s house, yet they refuse to speak to either of us. I’ve written and spoken to him, but he says that unless my son and I “change,” he wants nothing to do with us. We are clueless as to what change he wants from us, and he offers no explanation.
My son was recently diagnosed with incurable cancer. The doctors say that, with treatment, he can live for a number of years. All of this has been explained to Rafe, yet he remains silent. If there had been abuse or lack of care over the years, I could understand his attitude, but it’s the opposite. His father and I have done everything in the world for him all his life, maybe too much. My son needs love and support now more than ever. What can I do to reach my grandson? Do I need to accept this and give up?
— HEARTBROKEN
DEAR HEARTBROKEN: I understand your pain and frustration. Until Rafe decides to explain what has caused his grudge, his issues belong on the back burner. For now, focus your energy on your son. Support him as much as you can, and try not to let him dwell on his problems with his son. Consider that an adult son who continues to give his father the silent treatment may not deserve to live in his father’s house at all, much less rent-free.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: My son (51) has been married to his wife (47) for 13 years. From day one, it was apparent that she had a shopping addiction. Together they have money to support this constant waste, but it overruns the house. My son has often expressed that it’s a problem. First, it was stocking the pantry, then a second pantry and no room in the fridge for even a cold drink. They have magazines that are never read, piles of books to read “someday” and every drawer in the kitchen overflowing with unused gadgets. You don’t even want to know what it’s like at Christmas. This has been a constant source of stress for my son. I suspect she has a mental problem, but how should we approach it? She thinks it’s OK to live this way.
— NEED HELP IN BEACH TOWN
DEAR NEED HELP: Your daughter-in-law appears to be a shopping addict and a hoarder. The good news: There are organizations that help with both of those problems. Find a nearby Spenders Anonymous meeting (spenders.org) and suggest that your son attend even if his wife refuses. To get rid of all the extra stuff, search for a decluttering service in their city. Your DIL will be anxious or unhappy about this at first, but your son can learn strategies that may bring her around.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for 16 years, married for 14. I was injured in a bad car wreck 12 years ago, and I stockpiled the leftover pain medicine. We scheduled a cruise nine years ago, and I was going to take a few with me just in case. When I went to get some, they were all gone! My oldest son had been staying here for a few months, and my immediate thought was that he may have taken them. Nobody else had been in our house. When I confronted my son, he denied it. He also stopped talking to me for months. Every so often I would ask him about it, and he continued to get angry when I did.
I recently had two major surgeries, and they sent me home on pain meds. I went to get one about a month ago, and they were all gone! Again! I questioned my husband, and he said, “No, someone else must have taken them.” This went on for a few weeks, and I finally figured it out. It had been him the entire time. To say the least, I was devastated. My trust in him was shattered because he let me blame my son all this time, putting that relationship in jeopardy. I left our home and went to stay at a weekend place we own. I made my husband call his parents in front of me and tell them what had happened, because I knew he would otherwise make up some lie about why I left. Even so, I somehow became the scapegoat because I’m not “standing by my man.” They fail to recognize that I am the victim here. He started outpatient rehab two weeks ago, but we have done nothing for our marriage. Can this trust ever be rebuilt?
— NEEDING DIRECTION IN VIRGINIA
DEAR NEEDING DIRECTION: Let me postpone the answer to your question until after I urge you to apologize to your son. You and your son should consider joining a group called Nar-Anon (nar-anon.org). It is composed of people who have been affected by the drug addiction of a loved one or friend. It has meetings everywhere.
Your husband is an addict who has broken your trust. Before deciding whether to continue being married to him, you need to know what that will mean. After initially overcoming his addiction, he may fall off the wagon. Do not allow your in-laws to guilt you into reuniting with their son. Your husband would have to be sober for a long time before you can trust him again.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: I have a standing appointment with the hairdresser I’ve been seeing for many years for my cut and style. I highlight my own hair at home. I’m wondering if coloring at home is considered in poor taste while having your hair cut professionally.
— BEAUTY CLIENT IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
DEAR CLIENT: No! If you prefer to color your hair at home, that is your privilege. You don’t owe anyone an apology or explanation for doing it. If someone you know implied that it is wrong, that person was misinformed.
A gray plastic tote shook outside the Schuylkill Center for Environmental Education every few minutes Tuesday afternoon, proof that patient 718 was ready to fly.
A crowd gathered on the lawn beside it, adjusting shutter speeds to capture the world’s fastest animal. Just after 1 p.m., Sydney Glisan, director of the center’s wildlife clinic, unfastened the bungee cord, removed the lid, and offered the male peregrine falcon a few words of encouragement.
“All right, buddy,” Glisan said. “Today’s the day.”
Video: Peregrine falcon released into the wild after healing from lead poisoning
Like a feathered fighter jet, the bird burst from the tote and bolted for the big trees in Roxborough, letting out a few raucous shrieks as it disappeared.
Patient 718 — animals are rarely named at the Schuylkill Center — arrived thin and sickly on June 4, suffering from high levels of lead poisoning. The bird was found near the entrance of the Philadelphia Museum of Art earlier that day, far below the nest its parents built there.
“He was just kind of sitting there,” Glisan said of 718.
A sibling, who had lower levels of lead poisoning, was also discovered at the museum the same day. That falcon, also a male, was treated at the clinic and released into the wild on July 1.
Glisan said most raptors in the region would test positive for lead, but 718’s levels were “off the charts.” Lead can be found in the soil, she said, from bullets, lead-poisoned prey, and even fishing gear.
At the clinic, 718 received chelation therapy, where a medication binds to the lead in the bloodstream and is then passed by the bird. The falcon received four rounds of chelation over the summer, with recovery breaks.
“It’s hard on the body,” Glisan said, “but he was a real trouper.”
After chelation, the falcon was taken to an aviary, where he practiced flying through an obstacle course that included pool noodles. He aced the test.
“It was fascinating,” she said. “They move so fast.”
Peregrines mostly hunt other birds from high perches and can reach speeds of over 200 mph when dive-bombing on prey.
Sydney Glisan, director of the wildlife clinic at the Schuylkill Center for Environmental Education, cares for a red-tailed hawk who was brought into the clinic on Tuesday.Jessica Griffin / Staff Photographer
Glisan said 718 would probably find his own territory and not return to the art museum. She said there are at least three active peregrine nests in Philadelphia, including one at City Hall.
Sydney Glisan, director of the wildlife clinic at The Schuylkill Center for Environmental Education, cares for a red-tailed hawk who was brought into the clinic Tuesday.Jessica Griffin / Staff Photographer
As of Tuesday afternoon, the Schuylkill Center has treated 1,775 animals this year, including numerous species of birds, gray squirrels, and rabbits. More were coming in by the minute, including a red-tailed hawk with an injured talon and a baby squirrel that tangled with a dog.
Many animals that come in don’t survive long, Glisan said, and some, like Buttercup, the mostly blind-but-friendly opossum with frostbitten ears, are unable to be released due to their injuries. They are used for education and, on occasion, cuddling.
“I do love you, Butter,” Glisan said, cradling the opossum.
Sydney Glisan, director of the wildlife clinic at The Schuylkill Center for Environmental Education, shown here with Buttercup, the mostly blind-but-friendly opossuma who is a permanent resident at the clinic.Jessica Griffin / Staff Photographer
Erin Mooney, the Schuylkill Center’s executive director, said the facility does not charge to take in and treat animals. She also said the center needs a new clinic building because theirs is 31 years old, and too small.
While the Schuylkill Center receives money from outside agencies on occasion, Mooney said they rely heavily on donors.
“In order for the work at the clinic and the Schuylkill Center itself to continue, we need people to give,” Mooney said.
Things are starting to line up like a perfectly positioned side-view mirror for the first Philadelphia Parallel Parking Association (PPPA) Championship Saturday, with final details about the event being released this week.
Fifteen drivers, each of whom claims to be the best parallel parker in the city, will go bumper-to-bumper in a series of challenges from 1 to 4 p.m. at Headhouse Plaza in Society Hill to determine who’s telling the truth and who’s full of hot air.
The competition is being held by the PPPA with the South Street Headhouse District serving as co-presenter. Formed this year, the PPPA is a semi-silly group created by self-proclaimed Commissioner Adam Wodka of South Philly that takes the art of parallel parking very seriously. Its executive board is made up of seven of Wodka’s friends.
Philadelphia Parallel Parking Association Commissioner Adam Wodka behind the wheel.Courtesy of Adam Wodka
Earlier this month, Marisa Magnatta from WMMR’s Preston and Steve Show was announced as the event’s emcee and on Tuesday, the PPPA revealed its three local celebrity judges.
Among them is Fergus Carey, the longtime owner of Fergie’s Pub and several other drinking establishments across the city, who’s generally known in Philly by just one name, Fergie, because around here he only needs one, like Cher.
Someone fairly new to the Philly limelight who came onto our screens and into hearts this spring is also serving as a judge — crossing guard Jamele Ransom. In May, Ransom gave an animated interview to NBC10 about witnessing a carjacked truck crash into a playground and he gave that interview while actively eating a soft-serve vanilla ice cream cone the entire time. The clip quickly went viral, with people hailing Ransom as a Philly “legend” and “hero.”
Rounding out the trio of judges is comedian and social media influencer Betsy Kenney, whose ASMR videos, which are spoken with a strong Philly accent and feature sounds like the soft crushing of wooder ice, have been wildly popular online.
Just shy of 900 people entered the competition in the month applications were open, according to Wodka, with many submitting videos in which they illustrated their skills or told tales of their parallel parking prowess. Ten contestants were chosen by the PPPA and the remaining five were voted on by the public.
Many of the drivers are going by nicknames like “Pirate One Shot” and “Missy Parks Good.” One competitor, Mary Zheng, was a contestant on Survivor, and another, who’s going by the name “Dark Transit,” is a SEPTA bus driver. Some filmed their video applications on the street or in their car, and at least one guy, “Joe Cocomo” of South Philly, appears to have filmed his lying in bed.
“I’ve been parallel parking since I was 8 years old,” Cocomo said in his application video, which is posted to the PPPA’s Instagram page along with those of the other finalists.
The contenders hail from neighborhoods across Philadelphia, from Uptown to South Philly and from Eastwick to West Mount Airy, and they range in age from folks in their 20s to people in their 70s. (There was a 90-year-old finalist but she recently backed out.)
Contestants are required to use their own vehicles and will compete in three categories:
One shot: Get closest to the curb in one attempt.
Tight squeeze: With 18 inches of clearance, park closest to the curb using the least amount of moves.
Under duress: Park as fast as you can while faced with distractions.
The judges will score each contestant on a 10-point scale based on speed, competency, proximity to the curb, and flair. The three drivers with the highest scores will move on to the final round, a “pure show me what you got,” where one will be crowned best parallel parker in Philadelphia 2026, according to Wodka.
Initially, the PPPA was going to allow backup cameras in the competition, but it has since reversed that decision.
A sign advertising the 2026 Philadelphia Parallel Parking Association Championship is affixed to a pole across from some fine examples of parallel parking in the city.Courtesy of Adam Wodka
“While going through the contestant applications, so many people took pride in calling out that they don’t need it or use it that we decided for someone to be the Best Parallel Parker in Philadelphia it should be earned through the grit of doing it old-school,” Wodka said via email.
Saturday’s competition will also feature a parallel parking practice for kids, merchandise, and the debut of the PPPA’s mascot, Parallel Pete, who is an orange traffic cone.
The winner of the PPPA Championship will receive best parallel parker in Philadelphia bragging rights for a year, a trophy that will include a piece of a curb, and $76 to cover their next parking ticket.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a senior woman who has been dating someone for three years. He is my age. I recently learned he has been cheating on me with a much younger woman with three kids. We are sexually active and enjoy each other very much, or at least I thought so. She knows about me. Although he treats me well, I have found evidence that he’s having sex with her intermittently. I have never cheated on him, and I dislike cheaters. He wants to marry me, but I told him when we first met I didn’t want to remarry or live with anyone because I’ve been married twice, and so has he. I really care about this man, and I thought he loved me, but I don’t think I can be with a cheater. Should I confront him or leave it alone? I know I’d miss him dearly, as we do everything together. I also don’t want to be alone at this time of my life. Please advise what I should do.
— MONOGAMOUS IN LOS ANGELES
DEAR MONOGAMOUS: You state that you told this man you do not want to remarry or live with him. You have a great relationship, but not once in your letter did you say that you love him. I see no reason why you shouldn’t continue enjoying his companionship. Because the cheating bothers you, consider ending the sex and putting him in the friend zone. If you don’t, be sure to get tested for sexually transmitted infections regularly.
* ** **
DEAR ABBY: I am a 60-year-old male. In my first marriage, my ex had an affair, and during the last seven years of that marriage, we lived essentially separate lives. It was a lonely time for me. I have since remarried, and my new wife has a large family, including two sets of parents, four kids and 10 grandkids. My family is significantly smaller, with two kids and no grandkids.
The issue is that my love language is one-on-one quality time. I have asked my wife to set aside some time for us with no family interruptions. I have suggested date nights (a four-hour time slot two nights or afternoons a month) where we would not take calls or texts from family members. She has struggled to commit to this and instead told me I should “just let life happen.” She has trouble turning her phone off and said I should trust her to make judgments about whether to take a call or text. I would like to know if my request is unreasonable and how else uninterrupted quality time can be achieved.
— MISSOURI HIKER
DEAR HIKER: You will never pry that phone out of your wife’s hand. She has clearly shown you that her extended family is her top priority, so stop trying to take that away from her. On date nights, choose activities that will keep her busy and engaged. Keep the conversation flowing, and demonstrate that your full attention is on her. Most importantly, it is OK to insist on a “phones off” rule when things become intimate.
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for 20 years. She’s an academic, and we’ve lived a transient lifestyle to accommodate her career. She had a greater professional vision than I ever did, so I opted to stay at home and raise the children. I became Mr. Mom at great social cost. It was hard to make friends, and many in my social circles (or what was left of my social circles) made backhanded remarks, usually behind my back. I don’t regret my choice. We have three fantastic children. All of them earn straight A’s and are kind, loving, respectful people. Had we reversed roles, we’d be poorer and have grumpier, less emotionally intelligent children.
A few years ago, I decided to go back to school and earn my master’s degree, and I now teach as an adjunct at a local college. The kids are older, and I have more free time, but I’m still the primary caretaker. I wanted a job that would give me enough room to look after our older kids while making some side money. The plan worked out smoothly until we hit financial difficulties. My wife now says I need to change jobs. She wants me to get out of academia because we need the money. She says I need to “grow up and get a real job.” This feels like an assault.
I value my summers because I can continue to look after my kids, who still need care. I feel like had I been a woman, and had she been a man, her attitude would be different. Early in our marriage, we agreed she’d be the primary breadwinner. I love my job and my lifestyle, but she’s making me feel like a mooch. I believe I have lived up to my end of the bargain. Am I wrong?
— MR. MOM IN THE SOUTH
DEAR MR. MOM: You are not “wrong,” in that you have kept up your end of the bargain, but your wife may not be wrong either, except in being disrespectful. The cost of living is higher now than it was even a few years ago. In order to maintain your current lifestyle, it may be necessary to bring in more money than you’ve been earning. It’s no one’s fault that circumstances have changed since the original bargain was struck, but if you don’t adapt, you’ll create hardship for the whole family.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: Sometimes when I am at a store waiting to check out, a person will move up very close to me. It isn’t because they don’t have plenty of room. It makes me uncomfortable. What is an appropriate thing to say to someone who crowds you during your transaction?
— NEED MY SPACE
DEAR SPACE: Many people feel the same as you do about being crowded at a cash register, because they don’t want anyone peering over their shoulder as they make their payment. All you have to do is turn to the person and say, “Would you mind stepping back? You’re making me nervous.”
Explore all of the best things to do in and around Philadelphia: From upcoming events and art installations to the most picturesque date spots, we share all you need to know to make the most out of your week in Philly.
(Community) Need a calming moment to reconnect with yourself? This sound meditation aims to help you do just that by releasing the tension in your body and regulating your nervous system. The meditation combines singing bowls, gentle instrumentation and guided breath and body awareness to provide you with true rest and relaxation.
(Community) This annual festival is one of the oldest of its kind in the country and highlights the design excellence and innovation of architects, designers and creative professionals. The festival includes a range of events including tours, programs, and workshops all over the city where you can learn about a wide-range of topics.
(Movies) This year, the Philadelphia Film Festival is celebrating its 35th anniversary with a two week showcase of films on 35mm. These two weeks will highlight and honor cinemas past, present and future and allows viewers to really enjoy the magic of film.
(Community) This exhibition allows you to step into the photographers point of view, and features work by Public Ledger members Dan Eshleman, Eric DeJesus, Fernanda Gándara, Mekhi Greene, Nazir Wayman, Roshan Basil, and Sammy Rivera. You’ll experience just how close the photographers were to the moments they captured, and the role of community in there surroundings.
(Community) More than 30 sailboats will be hitting the Delaware River this weekend for an annual race. Grab a good viewing spot to take it in or grab a ticket to the evening reception at the Independence Seaport Museum to keep the celebration going all day.
(Community) Do you think your parallel parking skills are top notch? Come put your park job to the test as you battle it out with other contestants for the championship spot. The highest score walks away with the championship title.
(Community) It’s time to celebrate fall and Oktoberfest in Roxborough. You’ll enjoy three stages of live entertainment, delicious food and drinks from some of your favorite local spots, family-friendly activities and so much more.
⌚️Oct. 3, 12-6p.m., 📍Ridge Ave. from Lyceum Ave. to Leverington Ave., Philadelphia, Pa, 19128, 🌐 roxborough.brightrtravel.com, 💵 Free admission
Revolutionary Germantown Festival
(Community) Here’s your chance to travel back in time to 1777 and explore Germantown during the Battle of Germantown. Through living history interpreters and hands-on activities, you’ll get a glimpse at what life was like in the Germantown area during this historic time. This festival is free and open to all.
(Community) HBO’s hit original series The Gilded Age is being brought to life through vibrant florals at Lynewood Hall. This fresh floral mannequin exhibition transforms one of the country’s most remarkable Gilded Age estates into a celebration of flowers, fashion, history and storytelling.
(Art) This group exhibit features work from eleven artists from the Joined Hands Collective. The pieces span watercolor, collage, mixed media, ceramics, fiber and photography. The exhibit explores how individuals, communities and shared environments intersect, showing the many ways we are all connected.
(Community) The Philadelphia Museum of Art is hosting an exhibition to showcase the region’s historic arts and crafts works, in honor of its 150th anniversary. The exhibit features 250 objects from ceramics and furniture to textiles and stained glass, that tell the story of Philadelphia’s Centennial Exhibition.
⌚️July 5 – October 18, 📍2600 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy., Philadelphia, Pa, 19130, 🌐 philamuseum.org/, 💵 Free with museum admission
The best events for kids in Philly
“The Addams Family: The Musical”
(Theater) It’s been a few years since sourpuss teenager Wednesday Addams became America’s sweetheart. At the Walnut Street Theatre, this musical send-up follows her latest predicament: She’s fallen in love with a perfectly respectable “normie,” and now their two very different families have to meet. Ages 12 and up.
⌚ Through Nov. 1, times vary, 📍825 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa. 19107, 🌐 walnutstreettheatre.org, 💵 $28–$130
50th Birthday Weekend
(Community / free) The Please Touch Museum turns a half-century old with two jam-packed days designed for its youngest fans. Expect toddler sing-alongs, storytimes, juggling, music and dancing, art-making, bubble play, a fashion show, and the museum’s traditional end-of-day parade. Reservations recommended. Ages 0–8.
⌚ Oct. 3–4, 9 a.m.–4:30 p.m., 📍4231 Avenue of the Republic, Philadelphia, Pa. 19131, 🌐 pleasetouchmuseum.org, 💵 Free
Revolutionary Germantown Festival
(History) Cliveden travels back 249 years to the Battle of Germantown with a rain-or-shine day of living history. Meet historical figures and a blacksmith, tour the 18th-century house for $5, and learn about an unusual exchange between George Washington and British Gen. William Howe involving a lost dog. Ages 5 and up.
(Community / free) Tacony Creek Park’s Big Field fills with reggae, bomba, bluegrass, Mexican folk dancing, arts and crafts, and nature games for this annual fall celebration. Families can also join guided bike rides along the trail and refuel with cider and doughnuts. All ages.
⌚ Oct. 3, 1–5 p.m., 📍East Olney and East Clarkson avenues, Philadelphia, Pa. 19120, 🌐 ttfwatershed.org, 💵 Free
Make Some Noise: Family Festival
(Music / art) The Philadelphia Museum of Art gets loud for a family day celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month through music and visual art. Customize castanets, design tiles, hear live music, and explore the connections between what we see and what we hear. Ages 2 and up.
⌚ Oct. 4, 10 a.m.–3 p.m., 📍2600 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy., Philadelphia, Pa. 19130, 🌐 philamuseum.org, 💵 Free / pay what you wish
St. Nicholas of Tolentine Italian Festival
(Community) “St. Nic’s” celebrates its South Philly roots with an afternoon-into-evening block party on South Ninth Street. Expect Italian and Philly-made foods, the City Rhythm Orchestra, New York tenors, local DJs, family activities, and, of course, Mummers. All ages.
(Community / free) The city’s roaming beer garden is back, offering drinks, oversized games, and plenty of room for kids to run around all summer long. All ages. Visit Parks on Tap’s website to find the location each week.
⌚ Though October 11, Wed.–Fri., 4–10 p.m.; Sat.–Sun., noon–10 p.m.; more locations through Oct. 11, 🌐 parksontap.com, 💵 Free entry
Happy Friday! Below are some of our favorite things to do in the Philadelphia area this weekend. We put out new Philly weekend plans for you every week, so you’ll always have something to do on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
(Community) This annual festival is one of the oldest of its kind in the country and highlights the design excellence and innovation of architects, designers and creative professionals. The festival includes a range of events including tours, programs, and workshops all over the city where you can learn about a wide-range of topics.
(Movies) This year, the Philadelphia Film Festival is celebrating its 35th anniversary with a two week showcase of films on 35mm. These two weeks will highlight and honor cinemas past, present and future and allows viewers to really enjoy the magic of film.
(Community) This exhibition allows you to step into the photographers point of view, and features work by Public Ledger members Dan Eshleman, Eric DeJesus, Fernanda Gándara, Mekhi Greene, Nazir Wayman, Roshan Basil, and Sammy Rivera. You’ll experience just how close the photographers were to the moments they captured, and the role of community in there surroundings.
(Community) More than 30 sailboats will be hitting the Delaware River this weekend for an annual race. Grab a good viewing spot to take it in or grab a ticket to the evening reception at the Independence Seaport Museum to keep the celebration going all day.
(Community) Do you think your parallel parking skills are top notch? Come put your park job to the test as you battle it out with other contestants for the championship spot. The highest score walks away with the championship title.
(Community) It’s time to celebrate fall and Oktoberfest in Roxborough. You’ll enjoy three stages of live entertainment, delicious food and drinks from some of your favorite local spots, family-friendly activities and so much more.
⌚️Oct. 3, 12-6p.m., 📍Ridge Ave. from Lyceum Ave. to Leverington Ave., Philadelphia, Pa, 19128, 🌐 roxborough.brightrtravel.com, 💵 Free admission
Revolutionary Germantown Festival
(Community) Here’s your chance to travel back in time to 1777 and explore Germantown during the Battle of Germantown. Through living history interpreters and hands-on activities, you’ll get a glimpse at what life was like in the Germantown area during this historic time. This festival is free and open to all.
(Art) This group exhibit features work from eleven artists from the Joined Hands Collective. The pieces span watercolor, collage, mixed media, ceramics, fiber and photography. The exhibit explores how individuals, communities and shared environments intersect, showing the many ways we are all connected.
(Community) The Philadelphia Museum of Art is hosting an exhibition to showcase the region’s historic arts and crafts works, in honor of its 150th anniversary. The exhibit features 250 objects from ceramics and furniture to textiles and stained glass, that tell the story of Philadelphia’s Centennial Exhibition.
⌚️July 5 – October 18, 📍2600 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy., Philadelphia, Pa, 19130, 🌐 philamuseum.org/, 💵 Free with museum admission
The best events for kids in Philly
“The Addams Family: The Musical”
(Theater) It’s been a few years since sourpuss teenager Wednesday Addams became America’s sweetheart. At the Walnut Street Theatre, this musical send-up follows her latest predicament: She’s fallen in love with a perfectly respectable “normie,” and now their two very different families have to meet. Ages 12 and up.
⌚ Through Nov. 1, times vary, 📍825 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa. 19107, 🌐 walnutstreettheatre.org, 💵 $28–$130
50th Birthday Weekend
(Community / free) The Please Touch Museum turns a half-century old with two jam-packed days designed for its youngest fans. Expect toddler sing-alongs, storytimes, juggling, music and dancing, art-making, bubble play, a fashion show, and the museum’s traditional end-of-day parade. Reservations recommended. Ages 0–8.
⌚ Oct. 3–4, 9 a.m.–4:30 p.m., 📍4231 Avenue of the Republic, Philadelphia, Pa. 19131, 🌐 pleasetouchmuseum.org, 💵 Free
Revolutionary Germantown Festival
(History) Cliveden travels back 249 years to the Battle of Germantown with a rain-or-shine day of living history. Meet historical figures and a blacksmith, tour the 18th-century house for $5, and learn about an unusual exchange between George Washington and British Gen. William Howe involving a lost dog. Ages 5 and up.
(Community / free) Tacony Creek Park’s Big Field fills with reggae, bomba, bluegrass, Mexican folk dancing, arts and crafts, and nature games for this annual fall celebration. Families can also join guided bike rides along the trail and refuel with cider and doughnuts. All ages.
⌚ Oct. 3, 1–5 p.m., 📍East Olney and East Clarkson avenues, Philadelphia, Pa. 19120, 🌐 ttfwatershed.org, 💵 Free
Make Some Noise: Family Festival
(Music / art) The Philadelphia Museum of Art gets loud for a family day celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month through music and visual art. Customize castanets, design tiles, hear live music, and explore the connections between what we see and what we hear. Ages 2 and up.
⌚ Oct. 4, 10 a.m.–3 p.m., 📍2600 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy., Philadelphia, Pa. 19130, 🌐 philamuseum.org, 💵 Free / pay what you wish
St. Nicholas of Tolentine Italian Festival
(Community) “St. Nic’s” celebrates its South Philly roots with an afternoon-into-evening block party on South Ninth Street. Expect Italian and Philly-made foods, the City Rhythm Orchestra, New York tenors, local DJs, family activities, and, of course, Mummers. All ages.
(Community / free) The city’s roaming beer garden is back, offering drinks, oversized games, and plenty of room for kids to run around all summer long. All ages. Visit Parks on Tap’s website to find the location each week.
⌚ Though October 11, Wed.–Fri., 4–10 p.m.; Sat.–Sun., noon–10 p.m.; more locations through Oct. 11, 🌐 parksontap.com, 💵 Free entry
DEAR ABBY: My father is in his mid-80s. He has been to the hospital several times in the last month because of age-related medical conditions. A family member is vacationing here and wants to stay at dad’s house for a week instead of a hotel or bed-and-breakfast. Dad told me he’s not feeling up to it, but he doesn’t know how to tell them without upsetting them.
I passed this message to the family member, and they agreed. A week later, they announced that they were going to come anyway and would be there on a certain date. How do I explain that this is too much for him? Having guests stay at your house is a lot of work and can create a lot of stress.
— GET A ROOM
DEAR GET A ROOM: It was presumptuous of this family member to invite themselves in the first place. It is beyond the pale to insist on coming after being told they would be a burden to your ailing father. Your dad’s health and well-being must come first, so stop worrying about upsetting this person. Suggest a nice place for them to stay when they come to town, and be as blunt as necessary when you tell them they are not staying with your dad.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: I am a widow in my early 60s. I have had a best friend for 50 years. For the most part, we get along great and rarely have disagreements, partly because I don’t like conflict or confrontation. I usually let it go if I do not agree with something she has said. Recently, she made a comment I found disturbing and personally derogatory. I immediately called her out on it, and we had a strongly worded argument. We haven’t spoken since. I can’t decide whether to give her a call to try to smooth things out. If I do, I worry she may continue to belittle me. What do you think?
— GROOVY MAMA
DEAR GROOVY: Do you miss your friend? It seems like you would like to give her another chance. I say give her a call. You don’t have to mention the insult. Just invite her to a meal or other activity you both enjoy, and try to have a good time. If she doesn’t manage her tongue better, calmly ask her to stop hurting your feelings. Be clear that if she keeps it up, there will be no more chances.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: When I expect a visitor, it seems like I’m always rushing to be ready on time and, at the last minute, I need to use the bathroom. If it’s someone I don’t know well, or maybe someone I have never met, I debate whether I should dash to the bathroom and leave a note on the door saying, “I’ll be there in a few minutes,” or wait for the person to come in and immediately excuse myself. I worry that if my guest is late, I may be uncomfortable. What would be the best way to handle this?
— NATURE CALLING
DEAR NATURE CALLING: When nature calls, one cannot ignore it. If you would be comfortable inviting the person in and telling them you’ll be with them “in a minute,” I think it would be more hospitable than leaving a note on your door.
The invitation to visit sculptor Zenos Frudakis’ studio arrived unexpectedly in my inbox this summer, soon after I included his Freedom sculpture in The Inquirer’s 76 neighborhood gems article.
I’ve always thought the 20-foot bronze piece, on Vine Street near 16th, depicting a human figure breaking free of a wall in four stages, with the final figure on the sidewalk, his arms outstretched and face lifted, makes our city a more interesting place.
Artist Zenos Frudakis’ “Freedom” sculpture on Vine Street near 16th in Center City. Tom Gralish / Staff Photographer
“I think on my deathbed, if I’m conscious, I’ll think about that piece,” Frudakis, 75, later told me. “That’s something that I’ve done that I feel good about.”
In this 2004 file photo, Mike Schmidt helps unveil the Mike Schmidt statue outside of the third base entrance to Citizens Bank Park on opening day. Sculptor Zenos Frudakis, center, was also on hand for the unveiling. Jerry Lodriguss
It was only after I accepted the invitation and was researching for our interview that I realized Frudakis also created one of the most divisive pieces of public art in Philadelphia history: the statue of highly controversial former mayor and police commissioner Frank Rizzo.
Flooded with art and light
When I arrived at Frudakis’ Glenside studio I was met by his business partner and co-owner of his studio, Rosalie Frudakis. She’s also his best friend and ex-wife (it’s not just Frudakis’ sculptures that are complicated).
Entering the 275-year-old renovated carriage house behind the artist’s home, I was captivated by how the space was flooded with art and light. Frudakis’ 7-foot statues of Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Paine, still in clay, dominated the center of the room, along with similarly sized sculptures of musicians Bobby Rydell and Don McLean. Busts of historical figures by Frudakis lined the shelves and poster-size pictures of his many commissions papered the walls.
Zenos Frudakis in his studio. To the left of Frudakis is a sculpture of Thomas Paine he’s working on and to the right, is his sculpture of Benjamin Franklin. Tyger Williams / Staff Photographer
Frudakis told me he’s juggling a dozen commissions right now, including two full-size replicas of his Freedom sculpture — destined for where, he won’t say, but he promises it’s exciting. He often works until 2 a.m. in his studio with his cat, Mr. Gray, and hopes that sculpting will lengthen his life. After all, his older half brother — noted sculptor EvAngelos Frudakis, who made The Signer statue at Fifth and Chestnut Streets — lived to be 97 and sculpted right up to the end.
For three hours, Frudakis and I talked about his childhood growing up in a Greek family in Gary, Ind., where his first sculptures were made with his mother’s bread dough; about his move to Philly in 1972 on a scholarship to the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts; and about his commitment to reading because, if Leonardo da Vinci spent time studying every day, he figured he should, too.
“I wasn’t going to let anybody outwork me or have more knowledge if I could … because that’s your resource, that’s where your ideas come from,” he said.
A puzzle piece featuring Albert Einstein is part of a project that Zenos Frudakis is working on in his Glenside studio.Tyger Williams / Staff Photographer
As if to make his point, Frudakis quoted more than a dozen authors and philosophers by name during our chat including: Albert Camus, T.S. Eliot, Aristotle, D.H. Lawrence, Friedrich Nietzsche, and Jean-Jacques Rousseau.
He spoke of science and reason, of being a humanist and of the balance between the emotional and cerebral. He talked about life as a working artist, of the commissions he took and the pieces he created. And he spoke of how history is not set in stone, even for a sculptor.
“You live long enough and sometimes pieces come down,” he said.
A pachyderm and people
Frudakis’ first public large-scale commission was in 1982 for a bronze sculpture of a boy riding an elephant in the now-shuttered Burlington Center Mall.
Sculptor Zenos Frudakis looks over his first commissioned piece at the now-closed Burlington Center Mall in Burlington, N.J., in 2018.DAVID MAIALETTI / Staff Photographer
In the following years, commissions came for busts of W. Wilson Goode, the city’s first Black mayor, and Joseph E. Coleman, the first Black president of City Council.
In 1989, Frudakis did a commissioned bust of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. for the U.S. Embassy in Pretoria, South Africa, and traveled there to present it while the country was still under apartheid. It’s one of many commissioned busts he’s done of King, including a 4-foot bronze one for MLK Park in Chester.
Sculptor Zenos Frudakis in his Glenside studio with the plasticine bust of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. that was cast in bronze for the city of Chester in 2010.
It wasn’t until 1994 that Frudakis received his first commission for a public, full-body sculpture of a person in a suit, from the Frank L. Rizzo Monument Committee.
“That’s most commissions that you get, a person who does my kind of work, is men in suits. And the hardest one to get is the first job,” he said.
‘I survived another day’
Rizzo was a polarizing figure as police commissioner (1967-1971) and mayor (1972-1980), and the controversy has only grown since his death in 1991. While some praised his law-and-order style, many see his tenure as an era of unchecked police brutality that targeted members of the Black and LGBTQ+ communities.
But back in the 1990s, the Philadelphia Art Commission approved a public sculpture of Rizzo, which was paid for by private funds. After some controversy about its placement — backers wanted it in a more prominent place like LOVE Park — it was unveiled in 1999 on the steps of the Municipal Services Building.
Sculptor Zenos Frudakis, left, looks on as Rizzo’s statue is placed on the steps of the Municipal Services Building ahead of its unveiling in 1999.Eric Mencher
In 2016, amid the Black Lives Matter movement, a petition began circulating for the statue’s removal and in the following years, it became a lightning rod for civil rights protests and was repeatedly defaced.
But it wasn’t until the civil rights protests in the wake of the murder of George Floyd in 2020, when then-Mayor Jim Kenney called the statue “a deplorable monument to racism, bigotry, and police brutality,” that it was removed. It remains in storage.
Protesters attempt to burn and bring down the Frank Rizzo statue outside of the Municipal Services Building in Center City during a protest against the death of George Floyd in 2020.HEATHER KHALIFA / Staff Photographer
While I’ve received plenty of hate mail in my career, I can’t imagine having a piece of my work so publicly reviled.
Throughout our chat, I tried to ask Frudakis indirectly about the statue — were there any sculptures he struggled with? Any lessons he’s learned from his career?
But he didn’t take the bait.
Finally, at the end of our interview, I asked him about the Rizzo statue. He wasn’t taken aback and in no way tried to skirt my questions. I felt he answered honestly, even if, at times, he seemed conflicted.
Frudakis told me that when the work was commissioned, he had second thoughts — he didn’t vote for Rizzo, and has always been concerned with civil rights and social issues. But the statue was going to be built one way or another, he figured, and he needed the work.
“I got to do a lot of sculptures because I did that [commission],” he said, adding that the Phillies chose him for their ballpark sculptures because of the Rizzo statue.
“I survived another day as an artist.”
‘A weird blip’
Frudakis says he agrees with the Rizzo statue being removed, for safety reasons. He didn’t want protesters to get hurt trying to topple it. “I made sure I put it in so it couldn’t be pulled out very easily,” he said.
But if he had his way, he’d have liked the statue to have remained up, placed next to a statue of a prominent Philly civil rights leader, like the late Rev. Leon Sullivan, to promote education and dialogue.
“If you take it down, they’re not gonna learn anything. People who love him will still love him. People who hate him will still hate him,” he said.
The statue of former Philadelphia Mayor Rizzo is removed from the Municipal Services Building in 2020. Courtesy NBC10
I came to Philly in 2007, and I didn’t really learn about what happened under Rizzo’s tenure until the protests ramped up around the statue. I agree with its removal, but I have to wonder if I would’ve ever learned so much about that dark chapter in Philly’s history if the statue was never there at all.
One of the last things Frudakis said to me before I left was: “I’ve tried to make up for the Rizzo statue.”
Should he have to? Should I feel torn now about my love for his other work? I called up Conrad Benner, founder of the Streets Dept, a local media organization focused on public art. I remembered the popular videos he did in 2024 with Frudakis at the Freedom sculpture and wanted to get his thoughts on the Rizzo statue too.
“It’s this really weird blip in his career. It seems like everything he’s done since then and probably before then supported maybe a clearer vision of what he’d like to see in the world,” Benner said. “My impression was he was young, he made a decision, and then his career grew and he got more opportunity to have more control over his work.”
Benner pointed out that it’s very uncommon to create bronze monuments to people who’ve lived recently and that Philadelphia doesn’t have any other statues of its mayors.
“You might think the monuments in your city and country are some representation of true history when really they are the culmination of powerful and cultural interests,” Benner said.
“But we get to choose. Every generation gets to choose. We don’t have to inherit anything, whether that be a political dynasty, tax policy, or a monument. Just because they’re on a podium doesn’t mean we can’t change them.”
‘A one-man show’
A year after the Rizzo statue was unveiled, Frudakis’ Freedom sculpture was installed on the exterior of what was then GlaxoSmithKline and is now the Philadelphia Performing Arts Charter School.
It was a piece born of his own heart and mind. It was the kind of work that taking commissions for other less passionate projects made possible.
“I had to do something more philosophical and poetic for myself,” Frudakis said.
When I thought about our conversation later, I couldn’t help but wonder if in some ways, for Frudakis, the figure in Freedom symbolized his own desire to break free of the art that pays the bills for the art that fills the soul.
Zenos Frudakis’ “Freedom” sculpture on Vine Street near 16th in Center City. Tom Gralish / Staff Photographer
“It’s not an accident that my favorite piece, my most popular piece by far, is the one that I got the most freedom to do,” he said.
Frudakis sculpted Freedom on a small scale, but he had to get the 20-foot-long version commissioned by GlaxoSmithKline in order to cast it in bronze. When he scaled it up, Frudakis decided to get weird with it.
Details in Zenos Frudakis’ “Freedom” sculpture include part of a face and a cast of the artist’s hand with a sculpting tool. Tom Gralish / Staff Photographer
“Since I was having trouble getting in a gallery in Philadelphia, [I decided] that I would put about 20 pieces of mine in the background so I’d have a one-man show that was ongoing,” he said.
Among the many Easter eggs Frudakis hid within Freedom are a self-portrait, a cast of his hands with a sculpting tool, and a sculpture of his cat’s head. One of my favorite details is carved into the empty space where the final figure has broken free from the wall. There, the words STAND HERE are written, inviting you to become a part of the piece.
The words “STAND HERE” appear in an empty space in Zenos Frudakis’ “Freedom” sculpture, inviting the viewer to become a part of the piece. Tom Gralish / Staff Photographer
Photos of Freedom have appeared in self-help and scholarly books and it has been cited as one of the most fascinating sculptures in the world by Architectural Digest.
“It’s the most personal sculpture I’ve ever done and it’s the most universal,” Frudakis said.
‘It was creating me’
Of course there are other pieces Frudakis is proud of — his sculpture for the National Air Force Memorial Honor Guard in Washington, D.C.; a statue of Nina Simone in Tyrone, N.C., that includes some of her ashes; and a sculpture of Clarence Darrow at the Tennessee courthouse where the Scopes Monkey Trial was held.
The statues of Franklin and Paine he’s working on now are intended for the U.S. Capitol building and the National Mall, respectively. If pending legislation to approve their placement is ever passed (both were first proposed years ago), the bronze castings will be paid for with private funds, Frudakis said.
Artist Zenos Frudakis in his studio working on his sculpture of Thomas Paine. Tyger Williams / Staff Photographer
With an oeuvre of work behind him and his larger-than-life-size bronze figures fetching $400,000 or more today, Frudakis now has the freedom to do statues and commissions he truly believes in.
Frudakis still has sculptures he wants to create for himself too. He dreams of doing one of Hypatia, a female scientist from ancient Greece who was “murdered by religious zealots who tore her whole body apart.” He’s got busts of Amelia Earhart in his studio that he’d love to see in bronze someday. And like he did with Freedom, Frudakis wants to tackle another big human concept through his work — time.
One of the subtle details in Zenos Frudakis’ “Freedom” sculpture. Tom Gralish / Staff Photographer
Just like every story I’ve ever written forged me into the journalist I am today, even those that make me cringe in hindsight (and there are plenty), every sculpture Frudakis created made him the artist he is now, including the Rizzo statue.
But I don’t think any of his pieces has had a more profound effect on the landscape of Philadelphia, or people around the world, than the one that had the most profound effect on him as well.
“I was a different person when I finished my Freedom sculpture. I wasn’t just creating it, it was creating me,” he said.
The final figure breaks free in Zenos’ Frudakis “Freedom” sculpture. Tom Gralish / Staff Photographer
