DEAR ABBY: At the company where I work, multiple departments share a workspace. While most of my colleagues are quiet and considerate, certain members of one department are very loud. They talk nonstop (nothing work-related) and have no consideration for others who are trying to work and concentrate. It has reached the point that it is next to impossible to accomplish any work on a daily basis.
These individuals’ managers not only refuse to correct these behaviors, but often join in themselves. I understand I don’t work in a library, but I and others are desperate for a reasonable work setting and are trying to find the best approach to take. Help!
— DISTRACTED IN COLORADO
DEAR DISTRACTED: Not knowing the corporate structure in your company, I will guess that there is someone there who supervises the managers. You and the other employees who are encountering the disruption on a daily basis should discuss this as a group with that person to see if some accommodation can be made. If your complaint falls on deaf ears, a solution to your problem might be noise-canceling headphones. Another might be to look for a job with another company.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: Every year for birthdays and holidays, my in-laws give cash as gifts to their children and their spouses. Should I be hurt that my in-laws always give an equal amount to my brothers-in-law and their spouses, while I always receive half the amount? I don’t need the cash, but the blatant difference makes me feel less valued than their other daughters-in-law.
I host all the family celebrations, visit my in-laws weekly and help my husband with repairs and upkeep around his parents’ home. My brothers-in-law and their spouses give their parents only limited amounts of time on holidays and limited physical assistance to their parents only if my husband begs for help.
I would never say anything to my husband because I don’t want to hurt his feelings. I just want to know if I am being petty.
— LESS THAN IN NEW YORK
DEAR LESS THAN: It appears your in-laws do not appreciate your efforts to be a good daughter-in-law. You are not “petty” for noticing the discrepancy, and I don’t blame you for feeling “less than,” because that is how you are being treated.
I do think you should have mentioned this to your husband when it first started happening. That kind of gift-giving is supposed to be equal. When it isn’t, there is something wrong. Whether you choose to continue helping them to the extent you have in the future is up to you.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: I’m not sure what to make of a strange thank-you note I got from a relative. I gave a generous gift, and one year after the wedding, I received an acknowledgment thanking me for the gift and saying that she was no longer married to “John” because she wasn’t being treated with the respect she deserved. What do I say when I see her — “thanks for the note — sorry about your marriage,” or should I just let it go?
— PERPLEXED IN DELAWARE
DEAR PERPLEXED: It might be better simply to say, “It’s nice to see you. How are you doing?” and leave it at that.
The Philly region is home to a plethora of farmers markets, so we compiled a list of 25 that are well worth checking out. Some operate through the fall, while others are available year-round.
Here’s a sampling:
🥬 Explore the Media Farmers Market which highlights vendors within a 150-mile radius (runs Sundays from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m.)
🍑 Check out 4th & Lehigh Farmers Market and try the plump peaches and crates of juicy strawberries (opens in July; runs on Tuesdays from 11 a.m to 3 p.m.)
🧀 Try artisanal cheese at Clark Park Farmers Market in West Philly (open all year long every Saturday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.)
New Jersey secured a federal disaster declaration for the crops damaged in April’s rare heat-freeze sequence. Pennsylvania counties got a similar designation last month.
Philadelphia will begin opening pools on a rolling basis across the city Friday, but details are scarce.
FloatLab, a public art feature that will offer an eye-level view of the Schuylkill, finished its voyage up the East Coast and arrived at Bartram’s Garden on Wednesday.
FDR Park’s Anna C. Verna Playground will remain closed for at least another few weeks, after an inspection found that slide equipment did not meet safety standards.
🌳 Your outdoorsy experience
I’m on the hunt for new stories to share here. Tell me: Where do you go for a moment of calm? What sight takes your breath away? If you have photos, we’d love to see them — you might even be featured in an upcoming newsletter.
🎤 Now I’m passing the mic to arts and culture reporter Earl Hopkins.
The image of a long-distance runneris usually a combination of heavy-duty sneakers, compression shorts, and sweat-absorbing tops. But that’s not the picture Alim Wallace paints on a race day.
That’s because the North Philly native shows up in a tailored suit, with a pocket square and a suede briefcase stuffed with hydration packs and electrolyte gels. Yes, to a race.
Since his first race in 2025, Wallace has competed in the Philadelphia Marathon, the Broad Street Run, and others like the Life Time Miami Marathon and the Publix Atlanta Marathon. He’s racked up medals and thousands of social media followers who follow him not just to see him run past the finishing line, but to see what he wears crossing it.
“It was about having an idea, and being bold enough to do it,” Wallace, 31, said. “Some people will let an idea stop them. They say, ‘People are going to look at me funny. People are going to think this way.’ I really don’t care.” — Earl Hopkins
A 39-day festival for the World Cup is officially underway on Lemon Hill in Philadelphia’s Fairmount Park, with thousands expected to join in on the free, open-air fun.
The city’s official watch party will let fans watch matches on a stage-size screen, play a bit of “futebol,” and explore vendor and food markets.
Here are a few things to know before you go:
⚽ To get there: There is no parking on-site. Consider SEPTA, the Philly PHLASH shuttle, cycling, or rideshare.
⚽ To get in: Fans must first register via an online form.
What sprouted from humble beginnings — the inaugural edition was funded by a $100 grant — has transformed into a daylong festival spanning 16 city blocks and including more than 100 vendors.
Billed as North America’s largest African American street festival, the Odunde Festival annually brings up to 500,000 visitors to Philadelphia’s Graduate Hospital neighborhood.
The lead up to the festival includes a week of events, culminating with the daylong celebration on Sunday, June 14, featuring an array of foods, arts and crafts, and musical performances.
Best of all, it’s free.
Here’s what you need to know ahead of this year’s festival:
Oduyemi Oniwason, of South Philadelphia, makes an offering to the goddess Oshun during the Odunde Festival in Philadelphia on Sunday, June 8, 2025.David Maialetti / Staff Photographer
When is the Odunde Festival?
This year’s festival will take place on Sunday, June 14, from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m.
The South Street Stage, at the corner of 23rd and South Streets, will serve as the event’s main stage, with additional performers slated for a stage along Grays Ferry Avenue.
The Odunde procession
The festival includes a spiritual procession that starts at noon at 23rd and South Streets, and moves to the Schuylkill, where participants make traditional offerings — including fruit and flowers — to Oshun, the Yoruba goddess of the river. The ritual, which honors the festival’s West African roots, is open to all and serves as the cultural and spiritual kickoff to the day’s events.
Events and performers at the Odunde Festival
Bel Biv DeVoe — the Boston-based band that formed out of the group New Edition — is slated to headline this year’s festival, and the day will feature a variety of additional acts across two stages.
For a full schedule of events and performances, check the festival’s website, where you can also find a map of the festival grounds.
Participants in the procession to the Schuylkill dance in front of the offering to the goddess Oshun during the Odunde Festival in Philadelphia on Sunday, June 8, 2025.David Maialetti / Staff Photographer
Arts and crafts vendors
More than 100 vendors will line the streets, offering handmade goods like jewelry, clothing, and artworks. The African marketplace also features authentic wares from Africa, the Caribbean, and South America, making it one of the most vibrant and diverse shopping experiences in the city.
Will there be food and drink?
Yes.
One of the highlights of the festival is its various food offerings, which include African, Caribbean, soul, and Brazilian fare — available on a pay-as-you-go basis.
Road closures
These streets will be closed from 6 a.m. to 11 p.m. on Sunday, June 14:
1600 – 2400 blocks of South Street, between 16th and S. Bambrey streets.
500-600 blocks of 23rd Street, between Lombard and South streets.
500-600 blocks of 22nd Street, between Lombard and Bainbridge streets.
2200-2500 blocks of Grays Ferry Avenue, between South St. and Washington Ave.
All affected side streets
No parking will be allowed on these streets during this timeframe, with violators being relocated.
How to get to the Odunde Festival
Crowds and street closures might make parking difficult, but there are various ways to get to the festival via public transit.
SEPTA’s 7, 12, 17, and 40 bus lines will all get you close to the action — though detours will be in place from 5 a.m. on Sunday, June 14, through 1 a.m. on Monday, June 15 — as will the Broad Street Line.
An image from a past Odunde Festival. The free public festival is the largest African American street festival in North America, drawing up to 500,000 attendees each year.Courtesy of ODUNDE Festival
Where does the money go?
Odunde is a nonprofit organization. The funds generated by the festival go toward Odunde 365, a program that provides yoga, dance, fashion, karate, fitness, videography, and other programs for Philadelphia youth.
DEAR ABBY: After the last presidential election, my daughter, “Cindy,” whom I love with all my heart, turned against me. Cindy started rebelling when she was a teenager. Our relationship was rocky for some time, but I never stopped loving her. Once she matured, our relationship became much better, so I was shocked when she turned on me in such a vicious way.
She began making up stories about how I had abused her as a child — absolute lies. She also began sending me nasty text messages, calling me names because of my political beliefs and telling me she no longer wants a relationship with me. I don’t care what her political beliefs are. I would never be so cruel to her. It has been a year and a half since we have had any contact. I have tried writing her letters, which I assume she is throwing in the garbage without reading. I can’t call her because she blocked my number, and she has also blocked me on all social media. I need advice about how to move forward.
— GOOD MOM IN THE SOUTH
DEAR GOOD MOM: Cindy needs some time to cool off, so the best you can do now is give that to her. Stop writing to her, and do not ask anyone to contact her on your behalf. Also, please think twice before repeating to friends and family what you’ve told me. If Cindy learns that you’ve been describing yourself as a perfect mother and her as a hateful ingrate, you may never hear from her again. Take this time to work on yourself. Even if you did everything right as a mom, you didn’t learn how to connect with a child whose values are different from yours. A licensed therapist may be able to help you with that and may even shed some light on Cindy’s reasons for cutting ties with you. You may not agree with her reasons, but trust that they are important to her.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: My aunt and uncle, who are both in their mid-to-late 50s, live with my grandmother, who is in her early 80s. They are hoarders and have taken over half of my grandmother’s house. They came to live with her for the summer eight years ago and constantly cause strife for my father. They take things without permission and are now babysitting my cousin’s daughter almost every day. My aunt is easily offended and deflects any criticism, while my dad avoids confrontation at any cost. Should I do something, or is it not my place to get involved?
— LOOKING ON IN WISCONSIN
DEAR LOOKING ON: Nowhere in your letter did you mention that your father has any serious objections to what’s going on with his mother and these relatives. Before involving yourself by trying to run interference for him, ask him if there is anything he wants you to do. Because he is averse to confrontation, he may prefer you stay out of it. However, if you are concerned about your cousin’s daughter being looked after in a home that has been taken over by hoarders, you should discuss it with your cousin.
DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my wife for two years. We met online and have known each other for about five years. We originally lived an hour apart, and after some persuasion, we bought a condo together. Everything was going great until I began to notice my wife’s attraction to other women. I noticed lesbians “cruising” my wife wherever we went, whether we were on vacation or just at the grocery store. I also believe she’s finding women online and having sex with them. I don’t think she’s gay — but just enjoys the sex part. Also, she still has sex with me.
I hate the fact that all this is done in secret. She denies anything is happening, but I’ve caught her in many lies. We are retired and living off both our savings, but most of it is hers. I don’t know if I could survive on just my savings. She’s also threatened to take a lot of my savings through litigation. I’m stuck. I love her, but I can’t continue this farce. Help, please.
— NERVOUS IN NEW ENGLAND
DEAR NERVOUS: Your wife may not be gay, but if your hunch is accurate, she is certainly bisexual. However, you have more problems than her having sex outside your marriage. Equally troubling are her threats to help herself to your savings and the fact that when you ask her something, you don’t necessarily get a straight answer.
You may love your wife, but I don’t see how you can stay married and be happy under these conditions. You should consider whether you are at risk for an STD. You may need to talk about this with a lawyer.
One more thing: You stated that you are afraid you can’t survive financially if you leave her. Because you both invested in the condo, wouldn’t you be entitled to half the money from its sale? Think about how you were managing to survive before you met her, and consider whether you can live that way again.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: I am in love with a married woman. I was in love with her many years ago. Before she was married, she knew I was in love with her, but she lied to me and led me on. Despite knowing how I felt about her, she got married, leaving me devastated. Now, many years later, I am still in mourning and haunted by “what if?” I know I can never move on from her, and it seems like things will never change. So what do I do?
— ABANDONED IN ARIZONA
DEAR ABANDONED: When I was young, I was in love with Steve Reeves and Robert Redford (not at the same time, though). Unfortunately, they were both taken — and not with me. If you want to waste any more of your life pining after a woman who lied to you, led you on and married someone else, that is your privilege. If, however, you would like to get beyond your lingering emotional pain, you will ask your physician or insurance company for the name of a licensed psychologist. You CAN move on, but it will require concerted effort.
Former President Joe Biden made a surprise appearance at the annual Stonewall Awards in Philadelphia on Sunday, delivering a 20-minute speech to a packed crowd in Center City.
The award ceremony, started in 2022 by Philadelphia Gay News founder and publisher and participant in the 1969 Stonewall rebellion Mark Segal, recognizes those in the region advancing the LGBTQ rights in Pennsylvania. This year’s speakers, including Biden, took a moment to celebrate the decades of civil rights battles that led to Philadelphia becoming a cultural hub for queer people, but warned that the fight is only getting harder.
“What I don’t think straight people understand is that you have risked a hell of a lot and it’s taken enormous courage to stand here today. You risk your jobs, your families, and your very lives for the cause of equality,” Biden said. “We need that courage today more than ever before. The fellow we have as president right now is not having a very positive impact on anything.”
State Rep. Malcolm Kenyatta, who is a vice chair of the Democratic National Committee, surprised the crowd made up of LGBTQ organizations, media, and community members at the Arts Ballroom in the heart of the Gayborhood when he walked up to the stage with a trail of Secret Service agents and the 46th president. The ballroom erupted with cheers as the audience gave the duo a standing ovation. “I decided to bring a friend with me,” Kenyatta said to the crowd.
State Rep. Malcolm Kenyatta at the Capitol in Harrisburg on May 13, 2025.Tom Gralish / Staff Photographer
Biden delivered prepared remarks but wasn’t shy about speaking from the heart, said Segal, who witnessed the police assault on the Stonewall Inn in 1969, a moment credited for spurring the modern queer civil rights movement.
“I think that’s the magic of the Stonewall Awards. You’re in a room with people who want to feel unified and it’s a struggle out there these days thanks to the current administration,“ Segal said. ”This is the day that we get to celebrate ourselves and celebrate where we are and to say, ‘We’re never going back.’”
The president shared stories of his granddaughters fearing for their gay friends as the White House pushes policies that strip rights from LGBTQ people.
“Even though we made enormous progress, as we continue to make the final run here, progress is going to get tougher and the other team’s going to get rougher,” Biden said.
Segal said the Stonewall Awards have brought local leaders and celebs like Gov. Josh Shapiro, Mayor Cherelle L. Parker, and Abbott Elementary star Sheryl Lee Ralph to its stage in prior years. But Biden was a big surprise, said Jacen Bowman, the president of Philly Black Pride.
“We didn’t know Biden would be there, but once we saw Secret Service, we knew something was up. After his speech, he walked right over to our table and spoke to my mom about the award I won and it was amazing,” Bowman said, whose mother is still elated over meeting the former president.
Bowman received his second Stonewall Award on Sunday as he and his fellow organizers grow the organization’s cultural impact on the city and beyond. Bowman’s work hopes to not only bolster the community in a time of increased threats, but also highlight those who may get left out of the picture through murals like creating Finally on 13th, a celebration of Philadelphia’s underground ballroom culture, and remembering icons like the late Stacey Blahnik, a transgender woman and icon in the local ballroom scene whose murder is still left unanswered more than a decade later.
“I love Philadelphia and being honored for my work in the city that has made me, broken me, and uplifted me — I’m so grateful,” Bowman said.
Councilmember Mark Squilla and the Philadelphia Visitor Center received awards for their contributions to LGBTQ advocacy. Alex Niedbalski-Sykes and Ashley K. Lunkenheimer were also recognized for their contributions, including the work of Philadelphia Sisters, an organization that has vowed to bring more professional women’s sports teams to the city, especially after a WNBA team arrives by 2030.
DEAR ABBY: I recently hosted a family gathering that included my adult cousin and his wife, who live locally, and my son, daughter-in-law, and their son, who traveled from Georgia to Pennsylvania to visit.
Since my son and family rarely see relatives, I thought it would be great to get everyone together. At the gathering, my son barely acknowledged our cousins. He and his wife didn’t participate in the conversation — instead, they pulled out their phones and generally looked bored and anxious for the company to leave.
My son is a neurosurgeon. His wife is a nurse-practitioner. They are in their early 40s. I was so embarrassed.
The next day, I sent a message to them, telling them how upset I was. My message was ignored. I followed up with another message, asking if they received the previous communication. Again, no response.
I’m embarrassed for my cousins and disappointed in my son and daughter-in-law. I have no outlet for these emotions because they will not respond to me. I am physically sick over the situation since I have no way to resolve it. Help!
— BEST OF INTENTIONS
DEAR BEST: How socially aware are your son and daughter-in-law? Were they on their phones because of some medical problem that sprang up in their absence? Could they have been uncomfortable because you foisted these relatives on them with no warning?
I keep looking for excuses that might explain their rudeness to the relatives. But I can find none for their ignoring your messages other than that they simply do not care. You should be furious. But please, don’t turn it inward, because that is what is making you ill.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: I am a mature female who hasn’t been in any kind of relationship for 25 years. When I realized I needed and wanted a relationship with someone compatible, I went on a dating site and found someone. But I messed up because I was insecure.
I wanted more communication, and he is involved in many activities, which I understood. I tried to call him twice, but he didn’t pick up. I thought he was still communicating with other women on the dating site. I went to his house and told him that I had moved on because I hadn’t heard from him and he didn’t answer my calls. He said he broke his phone and was dealing with a son in jail and a sick mother.
I don’t know if he was telling the truth, but if it’s true, that’s a lot of things to deal with. I felt awful and knew I had ruined things because of my impatience. I texted him, and I’m waiting to hear back. I really like him. We had been intimate, but I’m afraid I’ve lost him. What do I do?
— ANXIOUS IN INDIANA
DEAR ANXIOUS: Sometimes mature people can react immaturely. Once your insecurities took over, you came on a little too strong. Apologize for it and tell him that you have not “moved on.” But realize that the ball will be in his court, and if you don’t hear from him in a reasonable amount of time, you will have to look elsewhere for companionship.
As a general rule, Sam Marshall is not used to drawing a crowd.
At 70 years old, with glasses and a plop of silver hair, the Haverford grandfather is a semiretired regulatory lawyer with a fondness for trains and the print version of the Wall Street Journal.
Yet, there he was last month, at a wedding in Big Sky, Mont., loitering near the dance floor when a young woman approached.
“You’re famous!” she said.
Before Marshall could respond, the woman was grabbing her friends and pulling them over.
“Hey!” she called out. “This is the guy from that group we follow!”
Such is life these days for the Tonics, a men’s a cappella group made up largely of Main Line fathers and grandfathers who might very well be the city’s hottest musical act.
Since videos of the group’s endearing kitchen rehearsal performances began circulating on social media recently — racking up millions of views — no one can seem to get enough of Philly’s a ca-fellas.
In the comments section of their videos, the Tonics’ most ardent fans break down everything from their impressive hairlines to their choice of rehearsal snacks.
Elizabeth Robertson / Staff Photographer
Online, the Tonics are putting up kittens-doing-cute-things numbers: 2.9 million Instagram views for a rousing rendition of “Lean on Me”; 4.1 million for a performance of “Werewolves of London.”
Supermodel Gigi Hadid is a fan. The singer Michael Bublé responded to their rendition of his song “Haven’t Met You Yet” with a string of heart emoji.
So meteoric has been their rise, meanwhile, that they’ve broken U.S. containment.
“Evidently,” says Mike Reese, a 46-year-old Wayne resident who sings second tenor for the group, “we’re very popular in Australia.”
The appeal is undeniable; in a digital world where every piece of content seems carefully curated, the Tonics have remained their unassuming selves.
Of the group’s 19 members, most are middle-aged and older — with full-time careers as doctors, lawyers, and educators. Their collective look — an assortment of khaki slacks, quarter-zip sweaters, and sensible loafers — might best be described as CPA chic. It is not uncommon, meanwhile, for one of the group’s members to pull a handkerchief from his pocket mid-performance and blow his nose.
During a Saturday afternoon performance at a restaurant in Wayne last month — where even the waitstaff couldn’t help clapping along — supporters clamored to make clear they’d been fans before the group’s mainstream success.
“I have all of their CDs,” said a woman named Esther, from her perch at the bar. “I put them on when I’m paying bills.”
Unlike many of their musical contemporaries, the Tonics did not set out for musical stardom.
Back in 1990, a couple of them — who’d previously been part of a cappella groups and missed the camaraderie — got to thinking: Why not get some guys together and do a little jamming?
They began meeting every Thursday night, rotating between members’ homes, where for two hours they could leave their stresses — family responsibilities, demanding careers — at the door and enjoy a little old-fashioned harmonizing with the boys.
“There’s something very spiritual that happens when you’re standing in a group and singing a song, making harmony together,” says Peter Evans, one of the group’s original eight members.
It wasn’t long before they were movin’ and snappin’ their way into the hearts of the masses — or at least the occasional graduation party, bat mitzvah, and assisted-living facility.
Through the years, they managed to achieve a modicum of local renown. They performed “The Star-Spangled Banner” at Phillies games. They recorded four studio albums. A catalog of their music — covers of hits spanning the decades — is available to stream on Spotify and Apple Music.
It wasn’t until earlier this year, however, that things started to get a ca-crazy.
Youngmoo Kim (right) serves as the Tonics’ music director and de facto social media manager. Elizabeth Robertson / Staff Photographer
The Tonics’ crescendo
During a rehearsal one evening last November, the group’s members stood around a well-appointed kitchen island, belting out a rendition of “Drift Away.” Someone captured a short video of the performance, and afterward, Youngmoo Kim — the Tonics’ 53-year-old music director — posted it to the group’s sparsely followed Instagram page, thinking little of it.
Maybe it was their wholesome vibe. Or the earnestness of their instrument-less performance.
Maybe, at a time when adult males — especially those over 50 — report feeling increasingly lonely, it was simply the novelty of a group of men gathering to do something that didn’t involve “golf and cigars and bourbon,” says Philip Pearson, a 57-year-old Tonic from Chestnut Hill.
“To be able to carve out a couple hours to do something special with a bunch of guys you like to hang out with is a pretty special thing these days,” adds Reese.
Whatever the reason, the Tonics struck a chord.
When Kim checked the group’s Instagram page a few days later, he was astounded.
“I’m used to seeing 300 views,” he says. “All of a sudden, it was 300,000.”
The majority of the group’s 19 members were part of college a cappella groups, including several who performed with the renowned Tigertones at Princeton University. As for the viral success? “We have no idea why this happened,” said Philip Pearson, a longtime member of the Tonics. Elizabeth Robertson / Staff Photographer
More videos followed, and soon, Instagram feeds across the world were filling with a dozen or so middle-aged guys from the Philadelphia area cutting loose around a kitchen island — their impassioned performances rivaled only by the stream of good-natured jokes that accompanied them.
“Room full of good credit,” read one comment on Instagram.
“A case of sparkling water hates to see these fellas coming,” read another.
“I just know they have a [favorite] length of grass.”
These days, everyone’s jockeying for a piece of the Tonics.
There were the folks from North Carolina who wanted to book the group for a summer wedding. And the woman from Chicago who begged the group to record a “Happy Birthday” video for her fiancé, a huge fan. (The Tonics — whose performance fee ranges from free dinner to $1,000 — agreed, but only after ensuring they weren’t being pranked.)
There have been collaboration requests and brand partnership offers, including one — much to the confusion of the group’s members — from a company selling skinny jeans.
“You’ve seen our shapes — our shapes are not all great,” says Jim Buck, 66, of Bryn Mawr, a cofounder of the Tonics. “But if they’re really looking to appeal to a bunch of 40-to-70-year-olds, then we’re your guys.”
In addition to serving as the Tonics’ beatboxer, Ed Glassman (center) is a teacher at Springside Chestnut Hill Academy. When the group went viral recently, his students didn’t miss a beat. “It was a full day where every kid that came up to me that day had seen that video,” Glassman said. “They were having a good time with it.”Elizabeth Robertson / Staff Photographer
Their future
The Tonics, of course, would not be the first band to succumb to the pressures and temptations that accompany overnight fame.
But while there has been the occasional sign of their newfound stature — “I do notice that maybe people comb their hair a little more before rehearsal,” says Marshall — the group’s members insist that they have remained cool and levelheaded about the whole thing.
Indeed, at a recent Thursday night rehearsal in a leafy Haverford neighborhood, there were no signs of swollen heads or raging egos. As they trickled in, the group’s members mingled and backslapped. They picked from an assortment of snacks — a family-size box of Triscuit crackers, some Di Bruno’s-sourced cheeses — and hammed it up in that uniquely suburban-dad kind of way.
“We got a photographer here tonight,” someone quipped. “Don’t pick your nose!”
“Bad-lookin’ guys in the back!” called another.
On this night, however, there was plenty to do. There was their suddenly packed calendar of gigs to prepare for — at the Woodmere Art Museum, the Wayne Music Festival, the Philadelphia Cricket Club.
And their forthcoming live performance on Australia’s The Morning Show.
And so, as the evening sunlight dwindled and the diet soft drinks flowed, the Tonics took their places around the kitchen island — van Gogh at his canvas — and got to work.
The Tonics’ members have a variety of careers. Among the group are teachers, attorneys, and several doctors. “We have pretty much every affliction covered,” joked Tonics cofounder Jim Buck. Elizabeth Robertson / Staff Photographer
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 12 years, and we were together five years before getting married. He’s an alcoholic who has been sober for several years, but he wants to argue about everything. He has anger issues, possibly because he was in the military. His health is bad, too.
I have reached a breaking point and am thinking about divorce because of the way he treats me, my kids and grandkids — except for my son, who he is scared of. He also badmouths my son’s wife. He gets mad because I watch my granddaughter three days a week while her mother works, and sometimes I have both girls.
My daughter-in-law is an awesome person who does anything for anyone. She’s in the Army Reserves and works full time. She put herself through school and is a social worker as well as a full-time mom! My son is a truck driver, so he’s gone all week. I try to help them out as much as I possibly can. I’m not giving up on my kids and grandkids. Am I wrong for putting them first? What can I do?
— DOING MY PART IN OKLAHOMA
DEAR DOING: Your husband appears to be what is known as a “dry drunk.” That’s an alcoholic who managed to quit drinking, but never dealt with the issues that drove him to drink in the first place. He is also an abuser.
You are not wrong for wanting a life free of hostility and verbal abuse. You are also not wrong for wanting to protect your family from the poison he spews. Because you can’t make this man change who he is, talk to a family law attorney and set yourself free.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: A group of 10 couples have been friends since meeting in college. Seven of the couples have been married for more than 25 years, and three of the couples have, over the last decade, divorced. The issue is that one man has remarried (his ex is no longer in touch with any of the group). His new wife is demanding and self-centered, with clear narcissistic traits. We love the husband dearly but not his new wife.
We are planning a once-in-a-lifetime cruise, and nobody wants her on the ship. We know from past experience that she will ruin the trip. How do we tell the husband that they are not invited, and who should deliver the message? We don’t want to end the relationship, but frankly, she cannot go.
— TRAVEL TROUBLES
DEAR TRAVEL TROUBLES: No matter how you approach him, know that you run a real risk of alienating your friend if he is forced to choose between his wife and this friend group. If it’s not worth the risk, the group will have to grin and bear her presence with as much grace as can be mustered.
If you are sure you want to exclude them both, you owe him an explanation. The person closest to him should meet up with him privately and deliver the news. Remind him of the “past experience” where his wife ruined a previous trip. Be specific about what behaviors bothered the rest of the group, and tell him no one is willing to travel with her again.
You might, however, consider extending him a solo invitation. It’s possible he could use some time away from his charming wife!
For more than four decades, hundreds of Philadelphia-area women first laid eyes on their wedding gowns at La Bella Moda.
Even in recent years, as their bridesmaids and mothers increasingly bought dresses online, brides kept the Conshohocken boutique in business.
But last month, the Fayette Street mainstay shut its doors for good.
“It eventually wears on you,” said owner Gabriella Pagano Rush, who decided to close the shop in response to industry pressures and personal timing. The 30-year-old, who took over the store from her grandmother Lena Pagano in 2020, is due to have her first child this summer.
“The business was fine,” Pagano Rush said. “Sometimes you just have to do something that is better for you in the long run.”
La Bella Moda, shown here in 2023, sold wedding gowns and other formal wear for 45 years before closing its doors in Conshohocken last month.Courtesy Morgan Taylor Artistry
She calls the transition “a happy ending,” one she said marks a new chapter in her life but also comes after years spent struggling to keep up with an evolving wedding industry.
Weddings have become increasingly extravagant, with some Philly-area celebrations costing $40,000 or more.
They have more vendor choices than ever, and small businesses like La Bella Moda, where gowns cost $2,500 on average, must compete with wedding emporiums, which can offer a wider selection for less.
The other options include larger brands, such as King of Prussia-based David’s Bridal, which is expanding its offerings while still selling dresses for under $500.
There are also online retailers, such as Revelry and Azazie, which offer home try-ons and mail custom dresses directly to customers. Even broader ecommerce sites and fast-fashion brands sell wedding accessories.
In recent years, as brides browsed veils and shoes at La Bella Moda, “I would start hearing, ‘Oh, I can get this on Amazon’ or ‘Oh, I can get this on Shein,’” which started out selling wedding dresses online before becoming a retail behemoth, Pagano Rush said.
Someone shops for a wedding dress at David’s Bridal in Feasterville-Trevose in 2023. Allie Ippolito / Staff Photographer
In 2023, Pagano Rush stopped selling bridesmaid dresses and other formal wear, which had accounted for about 30% of the shop’s business, she said. Instead, she doubled down on wedding gowns.
She began offering $200 private appointments, during which a bride and up to eight guests got the store to themselves, with champagne, cookies, and a personalized shopping playlist, Pagano Rush said.
“I really wanted brides to feel relaxed when they came into our store,” Pagano Rush said. “Not intimidated, not feeling pressured to find their dress.”
How an Italian immigrant cultivated bridal joy in Conshy
La Bella Moda founder Lena Pagano (center) poses with her granddaughters in the Conshohocken shop. Gabriella Pagano Rush (right) took over as owner in 2020. Pagano Rush’s sister Michaela Bosico (left) encouraged the new owner to renovate the store during the pandemic.Courtesy Gabriella Pagano Rush
Ever since she was a kid watching her “mom mom” Lena run La Bella Moda, Pagano Rush was enthralled by the wedding dress shopping experience.
“I just remember growing up, going and visiting her at the store, helping her for fun, and just in the back of my head being like, ‘Oh, this would be really fun to do,’” said Pagano Rush, who grew up near Lansdale.
At the time, the shop’s second floor was devoted to bridal try-ons, she said. “It was always so exciting when you would walk upstairs and you’d see all the brides up there trying on dresses.”
The joy in the shop was cultivated by Lena Pagano, who emigrated from Italy, married, had three children, taught herself English, and then fulfilled a longtime dream of opening a boutique in 1981, Pagano Rush said.
Lena Pagano, now in her 70s, stepped aside just before the pandemic in 2020, Pagano Rush said, and has been enjoying retirement in Plymouth Meeting.
Meanwhile at La Bella Moda, Pagano Rush’s first few months as a business owner coincided with the early months of the pandemic, when businesses were forced to close. But she took it in stride and used the time to renovate the shop, making for a better customer experience when it reopened that June.
Owner Gabriella Pagano Rush inside a renovated La Bella Moda in Conshohocken in 2023.Courtesy Morgan Taylor Artistry
Montgomery County Commissioners Chair Jamila Winder said the Pagano family’s story exemplifies the immigrant experience.
“In these times where it’s really hard for small business owners and entrepreneurs to start a business and sustain a business, Lena and Gabriella are really the epitome of that grit and that discipline and that vibrancy,” Winder said.
“They’ve brought so much joy to women across Montgomery County, women who were planning for some of the best days of their lives.”
Winder is one of them. A few years ago, she said, she bought her bridesmaids’ dresses at La Bella Moda.
Customers remember their wedding dress fittings
For women across the region, word of La Bella Moda’s May 31 closure brought back similar memories.
Dozens commented on Facebook posts about the news.
“I’ll never forget how gorgeous I felt in my lace gown on my wedding day,” wrote one woman. “Thank you for helping to make it so special, almost 20 years ago.”
“Such amazing memories of the fitting and how beautiful you made me feel!” added another.
The mostly empty window of La Bella Moda is pictured on June 4 in Conshohocken.Monica Herndon / Staff Photographer
Tina Brennan West said she, too, recalls her wedding-gown fitting there 34 years ago.
“I remember the experience walking through the doors, the smiles, the feeling that they already knew you,” said Brennan West, 55, of Plymouth Meeting, who works at an auto repair shop.
She showed the stylists an inspiration picture from a magazine, she said, and an employee pulled a similar white-satin dress, with a long train, pink rose buds in the appliqué, and puffy sleeves that were popular at the time.
She can still picture trying on the gown, she said, and see her mother and grandmother crying at the sight of her.
Erin McElroy Kraft, now 60, wore her mother’s wedding gown for her 1992 nuptials. But the Plymouth Meeting native bought her bridesmaids outfits — deep-purple velvet skirt sets — at La Bella Moda.
“It was absolutely beautiful,” McElroy Kraft said. “They were just so great at what they did.”
McElroy Kraft, a retired foreign-service worker who now lives in Arlington, Va., said Fayette Street won’t feel the same on her next visit home.
“It’s going to be hard not to see La Bella Moda in Conshohocken,” she said.
The closed La Bella Moda on Fayette Street in Conshohocken is pictured on June 4.Monica Herndon / Staff Photographer
La Bella Moda sits empty now. Its last dresses were either sold to customers during a recent farewell event, Pagano Rush said, or donated to bridal consignment shops owned by her friends.
As for brides who had recently bought gowns at La Bella Moda, “no one was left without their dress and without a plan,” said Pagano Rush, who referred some customers to a local seamstress for alterations.
The building, owned by Lena Pagano, will be leased to another tenant, Pagano Rush said.
“The borough of Conshohocken has really done an amazing job of attracting businesses to that main corridor,” said Winder, the county commissioners’ chair. “I don’t anticipate that storefront will be vacant for long.”
Pagano Rush said she believes there is still a place for independent shops in the modern wedding industry.
“I can’t tell you how much attention we have gotten since April when we posted that we were even closing,” she said. “I wish small businesses just got this kind of attention and support” all time.
