DEAR ABBY: Do charities and nonprofits share or sell donor information? For years, maybe decades, I’ve made quarterly contributions to two well-known charities for children’s cancer research hospitals, and I truly believe in what they do. However, over the last few years, I have started receiving an increasing number of requests for money.
One continues to send me quarterly requests, and I promptly write a check. But the other one started sending mailings every month, then every week and now multiple times a week, not to mention the newer “legacy program” (naming them in my will). I have also received messages on my landline phone, text messages and emails, and none of this contact information has previously been given to them, only my mailing address.
Today, I received seven pieces of mail. Six were requests for donations, five of which I’m not familiar with, and I have gotten the feeling my name and address have been sold or shared with other nonprofits. It feels to me as if they’re spending the money I’ve donated to print and mail even more requests, and I’ll no longer donate to them. I will increase the amount of donations to local school programs.
Is there a way to get them to stop mailing me? Maybe they’ll read this and think twice about bombarding people to the point they no longer will support them.
— FULL MAILBOX IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR FULL MAILBOX: According to Give.org, businesses and charitable organizations do sell their clients’ or donors’ contact information to other organizations. If your name is on a list of subscribers to a special interest magazine or buyers of a certain product or service, it may wind up on a list used by various charities. You may be able to lessen the onslaught of appeals you receive by writing directly to the charities whose mail you don’t want and asking them to delete your name from the mailing lists they rent or exchange. (A Better Business Bureau standard requires that a charity offer contributors an opt-out opportunity in its appeals at least once a year.)
Enclose the mailing label or return card that came with your appeal when you contact the charity. Be sure to add the correct postage to their envelope on which you have written “delete my name” or “return to sender” because charities’ nonprofit mailing rates do not pay for returns.
For more information on this subject, visit Give.org.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: My mom passed last year. I’m 50, and my brother is 52. He has never been good with money. He’s gullible and lets people take advantage of him. He will not let me help him.
Should I get a guardianship for him or let him fend for himself? We already have a rocky relationship. I worry that taking control of his finances will make it worse. However, I would feel guilty if he mismanaged his money, and I think Mom would want me to help him. What should I do?
— MY BROTHER’S KEEPER
DEAR BROTHER’S KEEPER: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your mother. It’s unfortunate these questions weren’t settled before her passing. Because your brother needs someone to look out for him, and you are the only one who can fill this role with his best interests in mind, discuss this with an attorney. Of course, it will need to be explained to your brother. Don’t put off talking with him, even if the subject is uncomfortable for one or both of you.
While walking along a stretch of beach in Sea Isle City earlier this week, a woman reported coming upon something you don’t often see in the South Jersey locale: Nearly 30 small dogfish sharks, all dead, washed up on shore.
They were small — maybe a foot in length. And some had small red marks on their bellies, according to reports.
Was this the result of something deadly in the water? Some new kind of apex predator? The approaching apocalypse?
Probably not, it turns out.
Michelle Greenling made the discovery on Wednesday morning, she told CBS Philadelphia, as she walked a 10-block stretch of the town’s beach. The first couple shark corpses weren’t particularly surprising, she said.
“But when I saw three and four and five,” she told the outlet, “I knew something was up.”
Greenling was initially worried that the sharks had been affected by something in the water.
But that does not appear to be the case, experts said.
Having examined photos of the dead sharks, Thomas Grothues, director of the Rutgers University Marine Field Station in Tuckerton, was confident they could be traced back to a fairly common occurrence.
Basically, when commercial fishing boats inadvertently scoop up fish that its crew is not actively targeting, workers are required to release them back into the water.
“This is super consistent with a commercial bycatch of fish,” said Grothues. “You can get 200 in a trawl [net] easy, and most of them will live — they’re pretty tough. But if a catch is huge and they’re sorting it, then sometimes the weight itself can kill sharks that wouldn’t normally die.”
Lawrence Hajna, media director for the New Jersey Department of Environmental Protection, offered a similar explanation.
“These occurrences are not uncommon in the summer when these fish forage near the shore and sometimes get caught inside sandbars as the tides goes out,” Hajna said in an email Thursday. “It is also possible they were discarded as bycatch from a commercial or recreational fishing trip.”
As for whether the curious incident requires any investigative follow-up?
Hajna said that the agency is not investigating the situation, “as this does not appear to be an unusual event.”
DEAR ABBY: I have been widowed for seven years. My husband served in the Air Force in Saigon during the conflict in Vietnam. We met and married shortly after he returned from his hitch overseas. We had two daughters together.
Recently, my older daughter was notified through social media that she has a half-sister, “Leiba,” from a woman her father knew in Vietnam. They agreed to meet this weekend for lunch at a local restaurant.
My daughter asked if I would accompany her to this meeting. I told her that while I had no qualms about finding out he had a child with another woman, I didn’t see any point in my being there to meet her. There is no connection there for me, and I would feel uncomfortable in the situation. Am I wrong for not going with my daughters to this luncheon?
— UNRELATED IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR UNRELATED: Although you feel no connection to your late husband’s love child, Leiba is related to your daughters. If they choose to develop a relationship with their half sister, you cannot ignore her existence forever. Your daughters may be asking for your support. If you decide to go, do it for them.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: My son and his partner have lived together for more than 10 years. During this time, his partner’s parents and sister have visited my state numerous times. They have stayed at my lake house, in my condo and another home I own. Yet, in all this time, I have never met them (and I have tried to).
Only once did I receive a thank-you note on my mantle at one of my homes. When they come into town, it’s almost like they deliberately avoid meeting me. Is this something I should address with my son and his partner? At this point, I feel hurt.
— USED IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR USED: Should you address this with your son and his partner? Of course you should. In fact, you should have done it the first time you were asked to let these people live in one of your dwellings. Do you really want to continue having strangers vacation in your homes? Because that’s what they have chosen to make themselves, it may be time to roll up the welcome mat.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: I have a daughter, “Imogen,” who has been married to her narcissistic and controlling wife, “Brianna,” for 20 years. Imogen’s relationships with me, my husband and her sister have been entirely dictated by Brianna. We’re not allowed in their house, her calls are made from the car, I have not been invited to birthday parties for their two boys, and I’m told not to attend my grandson’s swimming competitions if Brianna is in the building.
Two attempts at divorce by Imogen were unsuccessful, the last one having been a month ago. Imogen appears to be willing to accept verbal abuse and non-negotiable demands from her wife, interpreting the control as caring behavior. This cultlike existence has resulted in resentment and disappointment. I’m at a loss as to how to help my daughter extricate herself from a life of dysfunction and dependency. Any advice would be appreciated.
— WORRIED MOM
DEAR MOM: Your daughter will not leave Brianna until she’s ready, but that doesn’t mean you should give up. Avoid criticizing Brianna directly but continue to ask Imogen how Brianna’s controlling actions make her feel. Getting her to think along those lines may lead her in the right direction. Above all, make sure she knows about the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, and remind her that controlling behavior is a form of violence.
DEAR ABBY: My 33-year-old daughter is getting married, and the mothers have taken over her wedding plans. They want more than 200 guests, a full Catholic ceremony, fine wines, a full bar, plated dinner and a live band.
My daughter wants to please everyone but is not a practicing Catholic. She wants a small, intimate wedding with twinkling lights, a DJ and house wines from the California vineyard venue. Nothing she suggests is acceptable to the mothers, who see the ceremony as a means to impress their friends and business associates.
I divorced her mom years ago, but I’m still involved in my daughter’s life. How can I advise her to take control of her wedding?
— DOTING DAD
DEAR DAD: I tend to agree with you that a bride is entitled to the ceremony she wants, but sometimes there is no clear path to that end. No one will ever convince these moms to back off, and the repercussions of an elopement would be devastating.
My advice to the bride and groom is to grin and bear it. Let the mothers impress their friends (as long as they are willing to pay for it all), and the relaxation of the honeymoon will be all the sweeter.
Your daughter can save her more intimate plans for a renewal of vows ceremony held on a milestone anniversary. Obviously, she will want to avoid telling the moms about it until after all the arrangements are in place!
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: Our son, daughter-in-law and only grandchild live 1,400 miles away. We are able to see them only about three times a year. We have a warm, wonderful relationship. When we last visited, I noticed a picture in his room of our grandson, who is a year-and-a-half old, with his babysitter. There are no pictures of us with him in the entire house. I would like our grandson to have pictures of us so he will remember us. Should I say anything?
— REALLY HURT IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR HURT: Because you have a warm, wonderful relationship with your son and his family, the lack of photos of you with your grandson is likely not a deliberate slight. The next time you visit, ask them casually why there isn’t one. Then ask one of them to snap some of the three of you and offer to have one framed for them.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: My parents are retired. They live on a limited income and still support my 31-year-old brother, who lives rent-free in their basement. They told me how expensive their electric bill is becoming, and I asked why they don’t have my brother help with expenses or pay rent? Abby, he makes close to $100,000 a year. They quickly changed the subject, and when I tried to circle back, I was told to drop it.
How can I help my parents see that what they are doing is hurting them, not helping their adult son?
— THEIR OTHER SON IN MAINE
DEAR SON: There is truth to the adage, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” Understand that your parents must be deriving some satisfaction from encouraging your brother’s dependency. Your attempt to help them resulted in their becoming defensive, so stop talking to them about it. HOWEVER, you should consider talking to your brother about the fact that the electric bills are now so steep it is causing your parents hardship and suggest he help out. It’s worth a try.
Janet Klein, 96, of Rydal, Montgomery County, former member of the Philadelphia Historical Commission, historic program director for the Fairmount Park Commission, regional project coordinator for the National Trust for Historic Preservation, chair of the Pennsylvania Historical and Museum Commission, volunteer, and philanthropist, died Tuesday, Aug. 4, of age-associated decline at her home.
Born in Philadelphia, Mrs. Klein earned degrees at Philadelphia High School for Girls and the University of Pennsylvania. She and her husband, Lewis, traveled the world after they married in 1952, and she told The Inquirer in 1973 that she became interested in local historic preservation after returning from abroad in 1964.
“I felt something was lacking here,” she said. “There was no pride nor a thorough knowledge of what we really have in Philadelphia to share with visitors.”
So she joined the Philadelphia Museum of Art’s tour guide program, rose to chair of guides for the Fairmount Park house tours, and conducted hundreds of tours for thousands of visitors to the eight historic houses in the park. “The guides,” she said in 1973, “can’t help but sense that somehow they have passed on to the visitors the continuing life of historic Philadelphia.”
Eventually, Mrs. Klein became historic program director for the Fairmount Park Commission, was appointed to the Philadelphia Historical Commission by then-Mayor Wilson Goode in the 1980s, and served as chair of the Pennsylvania Historical and Museum Commission from 1997 to 2003. Friends called her “formidable” and compared her to the Energizer Bunny.
Keen to spark public interest in historic sites, Mrs. Klein forged partnerships between site officials and schools, community groups, businesses, and the media. In 1997, she oversaw filmmakers as they shot scenes for the movie Beloved at the Landis Valley Museum in Manheim Township.
She appeared often in The Inquirer and said in 1989: “We often find that people who live just around the corner from a house museum don’t know it existed.”
At Fairmount Park, she redefined the commission’s operating procedures and enlisted students as volunteers at its public mansions. At the city historical commission, she led walking tours of Old City and helped determine the historic designation of the old Lit Bros. building, the Boyd Theatre, the Dilworth house, and other significant structures.
This story and photo of Mrs. Klein (right) was published in The Inquirer in 1973.Newspapers.com
With the state historical and museum commission, she erected historical markers across the state, helped designate the Art Museum as a Commonwealth Treasure in 2002, and directed the commission’s public relations, tourist promotions, and preservation efforts.
“History doesn’t have to be dead,” she said in 1998. “Historical markers represent the people and their interests. They are a way for young people to learn about their heritage and gain a personal respect for the past.”
She also led the Comprehensive Historic Assistance Program for the National Trust for Historic Preservation in the 1980s, helped create the Liberty Trail near Independence Hall, and directed the restoration of the first historic home in the Lukens National Historic District of Coatesville.
She served on the board of visitors at Temple University’s Ambler campus and Klein College of Media and Communications, on the collections committee at the Union League, and as a guide at the Winterthur Museum in Delaware. She was active with the Pennsylvania Department of Conservation and Natural Resources, the Museum Council of Philadelphia, and other groups.
This story and photo of Mrs. Klein appeared in The Inquirer in 1998.Temple University
She was honored for her service by the Women’s Center of Montgomery County in 1999 and by the Preservation Alliance for Greater Philadelphia in 2001, and was named a Distinguished Daughter of Pennsylvania in 2000. In 2018, she earned an award for service and philanthropy from Coatesville’s National Iron and Steel Heritage Museum.
As philanthropists, Mrs. Klein and her husband supported what became, named after them, the Klein College at Temple, the National Association of Television Program Executives, the Police Athletic League, the American Heart Association, and other organizations dedicated to education, healthcare, youth development, and social service. They created the Janet and Lew Klein Making A Difference Award for the Pennsylvania Association of Broadcasters and donated his professional papers to Temple.
“She was an inspirational community leader,” said David Boardman, dean of Temple’s Klein College, “who inspired others through her generosity, her brilliance, and her warmth.”
Janet Surman was born March 3, 1930. She grew up in Oak Lane and earned a bachelor’s degree at Penn.
Mrs. Klein (left) appeared with others in 2007 to celebrate a historical marker at the corner of 9th and Christian Streets.Alejandro A. Alvarez / Staff Photographer
She met Lewis Klein in college, and they married in 1952. They had a son, Stephen, and a daughter, Ellen, and lived in Melrose Park and Rydal. Her husband, a pioneering TV broadcaster and cofounder of Gateway Communications, died in 2019.
Mrs. Klein and her husband traveled the world for decades and attended dozens of galas and fundraising events. She enjoyed gardening, was an avid reader, and liked to play Scrabble.
In 1993, Inquirer columnist Clark DeLeon called her “a wonderful, funny, vivacious lady.” Temple’s Boardman said: “She was truly one of the best human beings I’ve ever had the privilege to know.”
In addition to her children, Mrs. Klein is survived by a granddaughter, two great-grandchildren, and other relatives.
DEAR ABBY: My brother “Earl” and I always had a very bad relationship. When I was 6 and Earl was 13, he molested me. Actually, he took my virginity. My mother caught him but whipped both of us and told me I should have known better than to allow it to happen. Fast-forward to when I was 17. I woke up to find him lying in bed with me, stroking my face. I screamed for my mother, who said, “Oh, he probably came home drunk or something.”
Earl was never nice to me; even on his deathbed he yelled at me for forgetting to take his house keys to my other brother as his daughter asked me to do. A few weeks later, I forgave him for everything he did to me, but the last time I saw him alive, I still felt his hatred toward me.
There is a memorial planned, and I’m not sure I want to attend. I’m the youngest of seven; some of my siblings know the history and have witnessed the animosity between us. Part of me wants to go because Earl was my brother, and part of me is afraid if I don’t, my siblings will hold it against me. Another part of me feels a memorial is to pay your last respects to the deceased, and I have no respect for Earl. I don’t know what to do.
— VICTIMIZED IN GEORGIA
DEAR VICTIMIZED: From what you have written, Earl seems more like an emotional and sexual abuser than a brother. Your siblings have no right to give you a hard time if you skip the memorial. Remind them of how he treated you and how much you suffered for it if that fact has slipped their minds.
You should do whatever makes you comfortable, and if listening to your angry, abusive pervert of a brother eulogized would make you uncomfortable, stay away. Because you didn’t get counseling at the time he assaulted you, you might benefit from discussing your family history with a licensed therapist. To find one, contact an organization called RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network). Its toll-free phone number is 1-800-656-4673 and its website is rainn.org.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: My 6-year-old is enrolled in a Spanish immersion kindergarten class, and we are getting through it the best we can. We are an English-speaking household, so it is a challenge. The teacher is incredible. Her energy, dedication, spirit and connection with the kids is amazing. However, she is a cringe-worthy singer.
What she sings is nowhere near the melody. I’m not the only person who feels this way. Music is a big part of learning for the kids in this class, so this is a significant problem. As a singer, I can tell you that “tone deafness” is a myth. The ability to carry a tune can be learned.
I would love to offer this teacher singing lessons, for free, of course, but I have no idea how to approach it. A comment on vocal ability could feel similar to a comment on one’s physical appearance. I brought it up to the principal early in the year. She told me she would look into it and get back to me, but never did. Should I let it be, since these teachers, staff and administration have so much on their plates right now? We have been at this for nearly six months, and I really feel it should be addressed.
— IN-TUNE MOMMY
DEAR MOMMY: Because the principal promised to get back to you and never did, it is possible that your kind offer fell through the cracks. Contact the principal again and ask how the teacher reacted to your proposition. If the response was negative, do not pursue it further. If she showed an interest, follow through.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have friends who are kind, intelligent and warm. However, as we have spent more time with them, “Phyllis’” compulsive talking has become a real problem for us. She hijacks whichever one of us is sitting next to her and starts a monologue that goes on and on.
Phyllis doesn’t even look at the person she’s talking to and doesn’t hear when you try to interject anything. She has said she’s hard of hearing and does wear a hearing aid, but I believe the problem is more than a hearing deficit.
The dilemma is they have booked a cruise with us. We didn’t ask them to, but when I mentioned we were going, they thought it would be fun. The thought of having dinner together every night and being subjected to this is going to put a distinct damper on what is a rare vacation for my husband and me.
Is there any way to not offend them and have more give-and-take in the conversation?
— DREADING IT IN OREGON
DEAR DREADING IT: You or your husband need to make clear to this couple well before the ship sets sail that you signed up for this cruise because you want to spend time alone together, meet new people and make new friends, which is why you will not be able to dine with them every night or participate in every activity with them. Period.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: My wife of 48 years recently died, and my stepson put some artificial flowers on her grave. I was surprised to see this when I visited on the eight-month anniversary of her death. Both my wife and I always considered artificial flowers tacky and not appropriate for cemeteries, even though lots of people decorate grave sites with them.
I haven’t said anything to him about my feelings about plastic flowers, but I would like to prevent more of them from being placed when these fade away. How can I ask him to not put any more plastic flowers on the grave, or should I just ignore it? I’m less likely to visit her grave when these flowers are there.
— MOURNING IN ALABAMA
DEAR MOURNING: Your stepson may not realize how his mother felt about plastic flowers, so mention it to him the next time you talk. If he doesn’t visit his mother’s grave often, he may not realize that they have been removed, which I suggest you do if seeing them would discourage your visits.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married for 40 years, but it’s a platonic relationship with no communication on his part. I must run the household, make sure bills get paid and be responsible for everything — whatever life throws at us. My health is waning, and I’m concerned for my future. I have tried talking, counseling, etc., to no avail. What do I do?
— FED UP IN UTAH
DEAR FED UP: Because, after 40 years, you are finally fed up enough that you might actually do something about it, I’m suggesting some sessions with a different counselor than the one you have been seeing. You stated that you are the one who takes care of the house, pays the bills, etc. Has your husband been earning the money? If so, then you might also benefit from interviewing several attorneys about what your options might be if you no longer wish to carry the whole load alone.
DEAR ABBY: I suggested to my husband that he invite his nephew “Ryan” (age 26) to stay with us. Ryan definitely needed some male direction. He was homeless, jobless and didn’t even know how to apply for a job. Ryan is not mentally challenged. He simply was never taught anything until he was thrown out on the street with no skills.
Once Ryan moved in, I realized just how big a mistake we had made. He got a job because a relative was able to get him hired without even so much as an interview. He doesn’t make enough money to move out on his own. He sleeps all day and plays video games all night anytime he’s not at work.
Ryan doesn’t shower, doesn’t do his own laundry and leaves dirty dishes all over the room he sleeps in. The room smells horrible. On top of that, my clothes closet is in that room. (There is no other option for my clothes.) I’m worried his body odor and dirty clothes will soon make all my clothes smell as well.
This was meant to be a temporary situation until Ryan had saved enough to get his own place. However, he makes no effort to save toward that end. I wouldn’t intervene if it weren’t that he is diminishing my quality of life. I was all in for helping him out, but I can no longer live under these conditions. My husband keeps saying he’ll handle it but doesn’t. It’s not my place because Ryan is his relative. I’m in desperate need of your wisdom.
— SMELLY SITUATION
DEAR SMELLY SITUATION: Ryan’s parents did their son a terrible disservice by not teaching him survival skills so he could live independently. Because you chose to take him off the streets, that task now falls to you. I say “you” because your husband doesn’t appear to have the backbone to address this. Both of you need to tell Ryan there are rules he must follow if he wants to continue living with you.
Show him how to put his clothes (and detergent) into a washing machine and to use the dryer. Tell him he must shower at least three times a week and use deodorant every day. No longer tolerate food in his room or dirty dishes left in the sink. He must eat in the dining area like a civilized person.
Also, set up a savings plan for what little money he earns so part of his paycheck can accumulate and he can finally move out on his own — even if it’s with a roommate. If he learns the lessons that you teach him, someone may actually be willing to share quarters with him. I wish you luck. Nothing will change until you assert yourself.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: My son and I have been estranged for three years. He wants nothing more to do with me. I do not expect to see him ever again. However, I still have items of his. Do I pack up the items and have them dropped off, or what? I’m not sure what to do.
— EX-MOTHER IN ARIZONA
DEAR EX-MOTHER: If you are sure that your son is still living at the same address, box the items up and send them. That way, you can never be blamed for withholding anything from him.
On a mild April day, 12-year-old Sam Okyere reviewed his wish list with his mom during their drive to the Make-A-Wish Foundation’s Bala Cynwyd office.
First choice: Legoland andDisney World.
Second choice: meeting Eagles Jalen Hurts and Saquon Barkley.
Third choice: hanging out with Philly rapper Lil Uzi Vert.
But when Sam, his mom, and two members of the Make-A-Wish crew squeezed into the office’s tiny Lego-themed room for the official discussion, something different flashed to mind.
“I want to help the homeless,” Sam told them.
Sam has sickle cell disease.He’s endured a lifetime in and out of hematologists’ offices, white-knuckling through blood transfusions and bursting into hospitals when “pain crises,” agonizing sensations caused by disruption in the blood flow, tore through his body. This was his chance to do one completely selfish thing, and he chose to be selfless.
“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” Maude Gambrah, Sam’s mom, asked as she started the car to drive them home to Drexel Hill. She knew Sam had a soft spot for homeless people. He was always encouraging her to give money to panhandlers around Philly. But this was his only wish.
“Yeah, Mommy,” he responded. “This is what I want to do.”
Make-A-Wish settled on Families Forward Philadelphia, a homeless shelter in West Philly, as the recipient of Sam’s wish and hosted a monthlong donation drive for the facility leading up to “Sam’s Perfect Day” last month. The carnival-style extravaganza on the shelter’s front lawn, attended by dozens of families experiencing homelessness as well as Sam and his family, featured Lego displays, a petting zoo, a Lego-inspired bounce castle, and water ice provided by Sam’s family’s Southwest Philly water ice business, Willkay’s.
Making a wish a reality
Word of the wish quickly spread around the office of Make-A-Wish Philadelphia, Delaware, & Susquehanna Valley following the April meeting. Anika Goyal, one of the staffersresponsible for carrying out wishes, knew this one had to be hers.
The chapter, which grants about 335 wishes a year, regularly fulfills shopping sprees, vacations to Disney World, and room makeovers, but it rarely gets one like Sam’s, Goyal said.
So Goyal got to work. Sam emphasized that helping homeless children, specifically, was important to him, so Goyal selected Families Forward as the beneficiary shelter because it emphasizes keeping families intact during their stays.
She reached out to small businesses and nonprofits — as many as she could find that also had Make-A-Wish connections. Oshun Family Center, which Goyal asked to host a table on Black maternal health and to distribute childcare kits, was founded by a mom of a Make-A-Wish recipient. Jam-Rock Kitchen, a local Jamaican restaurant owned by another Make-A-Wish family, slathered up their jerk chicken and spiced up their rice and peas for the big day.
Goyal also looped in staff at the King of Prussia Lego store, a former contestant on the reality TV competition series LEGO Masters, and Swoop, the Philadelphia Eagles mascot, to make the event quintessentially Sam.
Alana Deluca, manager at King of Prussia’s Lego store, talks to Sam Okyere, 12, during his Make-A-Wish donation drive and block party.Tyger Williams / Staff Photographer
“It’s not about him,” Goyal said. “But it is about him.”
As Goyal and the Make-A-Wish team prepared the logistics, Sam contended with a life-altering decision. Sickle cell can be treated through a bone marrow transplant. The ideal donor is a sibling who is a match. Will Okyere, Sam’s 25-year-old brother, was. So Sam and his family scheduled a transplant for the end of August. The process starts with chemotherapy and ends with in-home isolation for several months, requiring Sam to miss most of his seventh-grade year with his friends.
“It’s a bummer,” Sam said. “But, it’s like, anything to get me better.”
“I just want to get sickle cell over and done with,” he added.
Sam Okyere, 12, hanging out with his friend Mosiah Saddick, 12, during Sam’s Perfect Day at Families Forward Philadelphia homeless shelter.Tyger Williams / Staff Photographer
While sickle cell disease is not inherently fatal, it can increase the risk of life-threatening infections, acute chest syndrome, stroke, and chronic organ damage, particularly without medications or interventions such as a bone marrow transplant or gene therapy.
Cynthia Norris, Sam’s attending hematologist at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, who referred Sam for the wish, said he stood out among all her eligible patients because he has the most severe variation of the disease and has had a number of complications. His grace and thoughtfulness, she said, also set him apart.
“He’s just a very special young man,” Norris said. “He has so much empathy.”
Sam Okyere, 12, with his dad Akwasi Okyere, Delaware Blue Coats mascot Coaty, and Philadelphia Eagles mascot Swoop during Sam’s Perfect Day Make-A-Wish donation drive and block party at Families Forward Philadelphia homeless shelter.Tyger Williams / Staff Photographer
Living out a perfect day
After months of waiting and preparation, Sam’s Perfect Day finally arrived.
Shiny new yellow, red, and blue soccer balls and Hula-Hoops lined the main hall of the Families Forward office building. Tubs along the mirroring wall brimmed with sunscreen bottles, toothbrushes, and soap. A giant poster sandwiched in the middle bore Sam’s likeness in Lego form — tiny Afro and all.
Some of the donations for Sam Okyere’s Perfect Day Make-A-Wish donation drive and block party.Tyger Williams / Staff Photographer
Families Forward could never have afforded this bounty on its own, said Jessica Main, the nonprofit’s chief development officer. Grant money the shelter receives is often tied to specific types of services like mental health and education. Its budget for toys and recreational materials is around $3,000 annually, Main estimated. That would probably barely cover the glimmering new basketball hoop and sports equipment Sam’s donation drive brought in.
Sam Okyere, 12, with his sister, Kayla, at the petting zoo during his Make-A-Wish donation drive and block party at Families Forward Philadelphia homeless shelter.Tyger Williams / Staff Photographer
Sam nestled into a blue canvas chair in the petting zoo as two goats nibbled food out of Dixie cups he held in each hand.
“I’m naming this one Ashton,” Sam announced to no one in particular, looking at a brown and white goat.
“Food! Anybody want food,” he shouted to the tiny goats (one wearing a feathered bowler hat), bunnies, and one black pig that dragged its rotund paunch on the ground wherever it went.
Sam Okyere, 12, is holding Penelope the pig at the petting zoo during his Make-A-Wish donation drive and block party at Families Forward Philadelphia homeless shelter in Philadelphia, Pa., on Wednesday, July 29, 2026.Tyger Williams / Staff Photographer
“Zane, Kai, Lloyd,” he said, pointing at two goats and then the pig, naming all after characters on his favorite show Ninjago, which the uninitiated will be unsurprised to learn is a show about Legos.
Soon a 3-year-old named Saga, wearing a white dress smattered with images of heart-shaped lollipops, entered the petting zoo enclosure, mouth agape as she stood eye-to-eye with the recently named Ashton the goat and gently patted the silver nubs on either side of its bony head. This was her first experience with farm animals.
Her mother, Quechera Jowers, 32, followed closely. The pair have lived at the shelter for about four months.
“I’m not going to lie, it’s a little nostalgic,” Jowers said, taking in the carnival sights as they waited in line for cotton candy, which, based on crystallized red formations encrusted around Saga’s mouth, it appeared she’d already indulged in.
Throughout the afternoon, gleaming toddler cheeks transformed into butterfly wings, kitten whiskers, and dragon scales with face paint. Pink and purple beads were strung into friendship bracelets, and technicolor swimsuits (each child got one through Sam’s donation drive) grew soaked from a sprinkler raining down on the kids as they descended an inflatable slide adjoined to the bounce castle. Navigating the pipe system of the old converted asylum-turned-shelter facility was the challenge of the morning, Main said.
Beyoncé blared from a portable DJ booth, chubby fingers grasped balloons on strings and absentmindedly released them into the stratosphere, and a topless toddler with wild curls boogied near the mouth of a bubble machine, a diaper band peeking out from his khaki shorts.
Sam Okyere, 12, is trying out the DJ set with Nashirah Felder, of Fishtown, during his Perfect Day Make-A-Wish donation drive and block party at Families Forward Philadelphia homeless shelter in Philadelphia, Pa., on Wednesday, July 29, 2026.Tyger Williams / Staff Photographer
Sam, meanwhile, alternated between the Lego games, petting zoo, and basketball station.
After discreetly lowering his game controller in the middle of a Lego joust, allowing a friend to overtake his spacecraft and win the game, Sam sauntered over to the goats situated in a kennel in the back of a truck to bid them farewell.
Sam Okyere, 12, plays against Corey Samuels, 41, of Princeton, N.J., a LEGO Masters winner, during his Make-A-Wish donation drive and block party at Families Forward Philadelphia homeless shelter in Philadelphia, Pa., on Wednesday, July 29, 2026.Tyger Williams / Staff Photographer
“I don’t want them to leave,” he mused as he delicately scratched a tan one on the chin and, with an understated graciousness rare to find in adults, let alone children, allowed the petting zoo staff to take them away.
As the afternoon drew to a close, Sam settled into a chair in the hallway full of donations and futzed with a small Lego vehicle. An event organizer informed him that the Lego store employees offered to gift him all the leftover toys. Sam politely declined and requested they instead be given to the kids at the shelter.
Asked in the final moments what could have made Sam’s Perfect Day more perfect, he contemplated.
The Phillies spent the trade deadline doing the baseball equivalent of rearranging an entire office while everyone was still working.
Luis Arraez arrived to play second base. Bryson Stott moved to third, where he had all of two major league games of experience. Alec Bohm slid over to first. Bryce Harper returned to right field for the first time since 2022. Trea Turner, despite having the roughest defensive numbers of the bunch, stayed exactly where he was.
Stott’s response was basically: Tell me where to stand. Harper volunteered to move before the trade was even finished. When the two-time MVP agrees to return to the position where he tore his UCL four years ago because it’s what gives the team the best chance to win, everyone else loses the right to be precious about their assigned seat.
For one night, the whole thing looked inspired. Arraez drove in two runs in his debut, Harper caught everything hit his way, and the Phillies won, 5-0. Then Wednesday arrived with an 11-inning loss, two injury scares, six runs allowed in the final frame, and a reminder that moving the furniture around does not repair the entire house.
Still, the Phillies needed something different, and different is certainly what they got. Arraez has already brought the bat and the energy… the rest of the lineup just has to remember where it’s playing.
Katherine Ross, left, and John Pacewicz, right, get married in Love Park surrounded by friends and family and their dog Hoagie, in Philadelphia, October 8, 2025.Jessica Griffin / Staff Photographer
LOVE Park’s 1,000th wedding: A+
The average wedding comes with a carefully curated guest list.
A LOVE Park wedding comes with whoever happens to be walking through Center City that afternoon.
Maybe there’s a SEPTA train rumbling underneath. Maybe someone wanders into the background of your photos. Maybe a guy with a microphone decides this is also the perfect place for his performance. Whatever happens, it’s part of the ceremony, which really is part of the allure.
Shapiro’s cameo in the sequel to Dreams and Nightmares only lasts a few seconds, but it’s enough to make you rewind and ask, “Wait… was that Josh Shapiro?” Turns out it was. The footage came from a backstage meeting at the One Philly: Unity Concert.
It actually makes perfect sense given Shapiro and Meek’s long relationship through criminal justice reform. But context disappears pretty quickly when you’re watching one of Philadelphia’s most iconic rap songs and the governor suddenly walks onscreen.
There are certain questions guaranteed to start an argument in Philadelphia. Pat’s or Geno’s? Wiz or Cooper Sharp? Is Dallas Goedert underrated?
This week, Reddit tackled another one: Does ketchup belong on a cheesesteak? The answer, according to multiple Philadelphians, is… maybe.
The comments were surprisingly reasonable. Plenty of people argued that a great cheesesteak shouldn’t need ketchup, but a dry one absolutely benefits from it. Others pointed out that “salt, pepper, ketchup” has been a standard order for decades, while one former South Philly steak shop worker declared, “The ketchup pump is there for a reason.”
The real plot twist wasn’t ketchup, though. It was the original poster casually revealing that his wife puts mayo and pickles on her cheesesteaks… and dips plain cheese pizza in ketchup. Suddenly, everyone stopped arguing about him.
For once, Philadelphia found common ground.
Los Angeles Dodgers’ Tarik Skubal reacts after a play at home plate during the sixth inning of game against the Chicago Cubs on Tuesday in Chicago. (AP Photo/Melissa Tamez)Melissa Tamez
The Dodgers do it again: D
The Dodgers traded for Tarik Skubal, because apparently the two-time defending World Series champions with Shohei Ohtani still needed the two-time reigning Cy Young winner.
It’s the baseball equivalent of the kid who already got the biggest slice of birthday cake asking if anyone’s going to finish theirs.
The Dodgers have built one of the best organizations in sports. They draft well, develop prospects, spend money, and somehow all at once. GOOD FOR THEM.
It’s also exhausting (and boring). Part of what makes sports fun is believing more than one team has a legitimate shot. When the same handful of franchises keep adding MVPs and Cy Young winners, it starts to feel less like a pennant race and more like everyone else is competing for second place.
Still, nobody in the clubhouse seemed interested in panicking. Stott said the Phillies aren’t scared of anyone, and Schwarber’s message was simpler: First, make the postseason. October has humbled plenty of superteams before.
Still… it would be nice if the Dodgers took a trade deadline off every once in a while.
David Elder cools off with a cold towel draped over his head as he walks through South Philadelphia on Thursday, Aug. 6, 2026. Forecasters are predicting a heat wave across the region over the next several days.Jose F. Moreno / Staff Photographer
Summer’s greatest hits: F
The forecast has basically been on repeat for weeks now.
The weather has reached the point where nobody asks, “Is it supposed to rain today?” We just assume the answer is yes and hope it doesn’t happen during the 15 minutes we’re outside.
The worst part is the false hope. Every time the forecast teases a “slight relief,” it lasts about 12 hours and then we’re right back to sweating through our shirts and wondering whether the afternoon commute will include flash flooding.
