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  • The Jaylen Brown trade benefits VJ Edgecombe, who will now have the time he needs to develop

    The Jaylen Brown trade benefits VJ Edgecombe, who will now have the time he needs to develop

    Jaylen Brown loves attention, which is why he went on Twitch to talk about his feelings just hours after releasing a statement on social media expressing his feelings about being traded from the Celtics to the Sixers for a PED cheat and four speculative draft picks.

    While Twitch-ing, or whatever it’s called, Brown got a phone call from the coworker who probably is happiest to have him aboard: VJ Edgecombe.

    It was just 30 seconds of Gen Z acknowledgment and ego stroking, but there was a real vibe of Thank God you’re on my team so now I don’t have to play every minute of every game.

    Later, on that Twitch stream, Brown announced:

    “‘The Process is back f— on.”

    Not really.

    Call it Process 2.0, and understand that Edgecombe, properly nurtured, will be as important to its success as anyone.

    That nurturing process got a lot smoother when the Celtics gave Brown away on Wednesday.

    It could get even smoother if King James arrives.

    On Thursday, LeBron James’ camp let it be known that he would consider playing next season in Philadelphia now that Brown has joined Joel Embiid, Tyrese Maxey, and Edgecombe. The King, now 41, is hunting a fifth NBA title, and Philly has become a viable contender within the last few days, even though the Sixers currently can pay him only the veteran minimum, just under $4 million. This would be a $48 million pay cut from last season with the Lakers.

    Don’t hold your breath.

    As insane as landing LeBron would be, shedding a bad contract and landing a superstar is even nuttier. And fishier.

    Something is amiss when the smartest organization in basketball gives away a top-10 player and asks in return for a broken-down PED cheater and two first-round picks that probably aren’t going to be that good anyway.

    At any rate, the Celtics on Wednesday traded Brown, a five-time All-Star, who is 29, to the Sixers for Paul George, who is 36, and who has had just one good season since he was 29. The Sixers also sent first-round picks in 2028 and 2031 and two second-round picks to Boston. The most significant aspect of the deal is that it erased the worst contract in the history of the franchise; George has two more seasons left on a four-year, $211 million deal, and he hasn’t been worth one-tenth of it.

    The move also made the Sixers an immediate NBA title contender, since Brown is everything the Sixers wanted George to be: a shot-creating athlete at all three levels who can play and defend multiple positions.

    The deal also delivers an invaluable byproduct.

    It gives Edgecombe time.

    Time to develop.

    Time to learn.

    Time to rest.

    Edgecombe not only led rookies at 35 minutes per game, he ranked 11th in the entire league and averaged the eighth-most minutes for a rookie guard in the last 17 seasons. As the Sixers dealt with injury absences of Joel Embiid as well as the early load-management strategies and the late PED suspension of George, Edgecombe proved himself too good to not protect.

    “VJ is going to be a lot better in the long run with J.B. around,” said an NBA source who is intimately familiar with the 76ers. “At the end of last season, he was pretty worn out.”

    Outside of a diminished three-point shooting percentage, the wear and tear didn’t really show up in his other raw stats. They dipped in the playoffs, but then, Embiid and George were back on the court for much of the late season and postseason. But his decision-making became errant, his shot selection more questionable, and he tended to disappear. He needed help that his big-money vets were not there to provide.

    The absence of Paul George (8) had a trickle-down effect at times on VJ Edgecombe. Elizabeth Robertson / Staff Photographer

    Combined, they missed 89 of 164 games, more than half. This has been the norm for both of them for the past few seasons.

    Brown plays about 20 more games a season than Embiid and George.

    That means that when Embiid misses his 30 or 35 games this season, Brown will be there to carry the load, whereas George was not.

    That also means that when Embiid plays, Edgecombe will not have to serve as the second or third offensive option, using moves he shouldn’t be making and taking shots he shouldn’t be taking for at least another season or two. When the Sixers drafted him third overall, most projections cast him as a superior athlete with unlimited defensive potential but with limited plug-and-play offensive ability. He learned fast, averaged 16 points per game, and made the All-Rookie team, but, man, there were some ugly nights and some ugly shots.

    Brown will also help Maxey get off his feet a little more. Maxey led the NBA at 38.0 minutes per game in an MVP-caliber season, but he wore down, too. Both were affected by the early injury absence of Jared McCain, and then by McCain’s exit at the trade deadline, as well as the lack of consistent contributions from guard Quentin Grimes.

    Edgecombe and Brown don’t play the same position, exactly, but they will combine with Maxey, and possibly rookie Labaron Philon Jr., to manage the primary backcourt duties.

    Brown will arrive motivated to make the best impression possible.

    He’s in line for a two-year, $140 million extension that will put him under contract for the next five seasons. He will be a more focused defender and rebounder, play-make with more alacrity, and, inevitably, he will assume the role of mentor to Edgecombe that George served last year.

    He said in Thursday‘s social media post that he was “Excited and disappointed at the same time” to be leaving Boston, where he won a title, and coming to the Sixers, who bounced him from the playoffs this spring.

    It was delivered with Brown’s typical class and polish.

    The Twitch stuff? Less classy, less polished, but just as real.

    The Celtics, meanwhile, immediately started planting narratives about how zero-time All-Star guard Derrick White is a more valuable player than Brown. ESPN insider Brian Windhorst also reported that the Celtics, after consulting their analytics, considered it imperative to get backup center Mitchell Robinson off the court when they played the Knicks. Then, on Wednesday, they signed Robinson to a three-year, $47.4 million deal.

    No wonder the Sixers knocked them out in the first round.

    There is always the possibility that this trade is not as lopsided as it seems. The Celtics certainly didn’t see the value in retaining a guy who can make more than $320 million if he’s offered an extension.

    The pocket protector crowd loves to cite and manipulate undependable metrics that diminish Brown’s obvious talent, skill, value, and performance. They insist that his playmaking fluctuates, his defense is overrated, and his shot diet doesn’t regularly generate the most efficient looks for him or his teammates.

    Remember, analytics is an industry, and it has to feed itself and convince its consumers of its necessity.

    Therein lies an irony. As much as analytics have torpedoed the Sixers’ plans, execution, and hopes over the past 14 years of “The Process,” it appears that analytics now have delivered an unexpected reward — in the form of Jaylen Brown.

    Bonus: LeBron James?

    Benefit: VJ Edgecombe.

  • Where are tourists traveling to Philadelphia from for the World Cup?

    Where are tourists traveling to Philadelphia from for the World Cup?

    With Philadelphia’s final World Cup game Saturday, the city’s international soccer tourists, who have created generational memories for weeks here, will be heading home.

    From the sea of yellow-jerseyed Ecuadorians taking over the Rocky steps, and possibly cursing the team, to Ivorian soccer fans dancing outside the streets of Fan Festival, or the four Frenchmen who lied to their bosses to be here, global soccer fans have been thriving in Philadelphia.

    And there’s no better place in the world to celebrate fandom than in Philly, said Côte d’Ivoire-born Philadelphian Ahmadou Dia, who moved to the city a decade ago.

    “This is wonderful for Philadelphia and wonderful for America, welcoming everybody into this beautiful country,” Dia said. “The World Cup, the football itself, brings every country, every single person, together regardless of color. It doesn’t matter what you look like, because on the field or in that stadium, we’re family.”

    The World Cup is one of those global events where fans save thousands of dollars for years to make their way across the world to watch their favorite team.

    Ecuadorian native Francisca Castellanos traveled 14 hours to meet her father and other family in Quito, before heading to Philadelphia in time for the World Cup. Her father, Francisco, has attended the last 10 World Cup tournaments, including the 2022 World Cup in Qatar. When the United States was announced as a World Cup host, the Castellanoses were overjoyed.

    “A World Cup in the U.S is a lot more accessible to Ecuadorians because a lot of our population already lives in the U.S., and the currency is the same,” Castellanos said. “There is also language accessibility because people speak English here, unlike in Qatar, where communication was harder.”

    Ecuador national team fans cheer during the national anthems before the FIFA World Cup Group E match between Ecuador and Côte d’Ivoire on June 14, 2026, at Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia. The match marked the first FIFA World Cup game played in Philadelphia.Jose F. Moreno / Staff Photographer

    The six matches played in Philadelphia brought tourists from Brazil, Côte d’Ivoire, Croatia, Curaçao, Ecuador, France, Ghana, Haiti, and Iraq, but where Philly’s World Cup and America’s 250th tourists are coming from spans the globe.

    Fraser McNaughton, a Scot visiting Philadelphia with family, couldn’t believe how inviting Philadelphians have been as he took photos with the Rocky statue last week.

    “Everywhere we’ve went, everyone’s been so friendly, so welcoming, helping us out when we need it,” McNaughton said. “It’s just a brilliant city.”

    “They go out of their way to say ‘Hello’ or ‘Welcome to Philly’ here,” said fellow Scot Michelle Thomson. “We’ve really loved it.”

    Here are the main takeaways, based on flight data shared by Sojern, a hospitality marketing platform that provides travel data to hotels, airlines, and tourism boards.

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    Ecuadorian travelers surged this World Cup

    Ecuadorians don’t make up a sizable chunk of the international travelers coming to Philadelphia this summer. Canada, the United Kingdom, and Italy take that crown, in that order.

    However, Ecuadorian travelers, like the Castellanoses, were so pumped to experience a World Cup in person that the number of flights booked from Ecuador to Philadelphia surged by 622% compared to the year prior. Philadelphia hosted Ecuador’s first group match in the World Cup, convincing many Ecuadorians to make the 2,760-mile trip to the City of Brotherly Love.

    Danilo Carrión is a member of the group that organized the Ecuadorian event at the Rocky steps, where more than 2,000 Ecuador fans showed up to dance, sing, and accidentally jinx their team after putting Ecuador merch on Rocky.

    “It was the first game for Ecuador, so a lot of the Ecuadorians from Ecuador and the U.S. had to be here because there was a lot of expectation,” Carrión said.

    To the Ecuadorian-American who lives in New York, the influx of people was facilitated by an ease of travel between the South American country and the U.S.

    “It’s easier for us to travel to the States than to Europe or Qatar,” Carrión said. “And there are direct flights to LaGuardia and New York.”

    Ecuadorians require visas to enter Europe, Canada, and the United States. Even traveling to Mexico can involve visa procedures if they don’t have a U.S. visa first, a formality that has become more complex since Ecuador and Mexico broke international relationships in 2024, Carrión said.

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    Dutch Caribbean islands show up for Curaçao

    The small autonomous nations of Curaçao, Aruba, and Sint Maarten, all part of the Kingdom of the Netherlands, have seen a huge surge in flights this summer.

    Curaçao had the largest increase, almost 240%, despite being the smallest nation ever, with a population of 158,006 people, to qualify for the FIFA World Cup.

    “When we won tickets through the FIFA lottery for the Curaçao versus Ivory Coast in Philadelphia, we knew we had to make it happen, especially since the Curaçao match falls on my husband’s birthday,” said Vanessa Santine-Vinck, who traveled here from Curaçao with her partner and two sons.

    Travel from Sint Maarten and Aruba are also up — 193% and 117% respectively.

    Croatia and Hungary aren’t missing Philly’s World Cup

    Croatia claimed victory over Ghana at Philadelphia Stadium on June 27, and flights from the European country have jumped almost 100%.

    Neighboring Hungary has also seen a dramatic increase. There are almost 200% more flights from Hungary this summer than last summer.

    Dominican Republic shows steady growth

    Philadelphia’s Dominican community has grown in recent years, helping drive population growth in the city.

    With the World Cup in Philly this summer, travel from the Caribbean nation has increased 34%. While DR is not in the World Cup, their neighbor, Haiti, faced Brazil on June 19, losing 3-0.

    Philly’s French connection brings throngs of tourists

    This summer has brought a notable uptick in French tourism to Philadelphia, with 33% more flights. The cross-cultural connection runs deep, Parisian aesthetics have long influenced the city’s architecture.

    Throngs of Francophones across the city cheered on their national team to a 3-0 victory against Iraq on June 22.

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    France also ranks fourth in terms of total foreign travel this summer after Canada, the U.K.I, and Italy. Between the architecture, the French cuisine, and the fact that two of his family’s favorite teams, France and Côte d’Ivoire, would play in Philadelphia, traveling to the city was an easy choice for Frenchman Elias Pierson.

    He had already heard of the comparisons between the city and Paris, and as he walked through Independence Hall with his family last week, much of the architecture he saw reminded him of home.

    “We have a good relationship with the people of Philadelphia. We were just in the train station with a Philadelphian, and she explained to us where we needed to go and where the best French restaurants are,” Pierson said. “My favorite part of Philadelphia so far is City Hall and Old City because of the very beautiful buildings.”

    Now, before Pierson heads home, he said he hopes to get a coveted seat at Philly’s world-famous French bistro, Parc.

  • He cut his rent by $2,000 a month. Then he bought a $165,000 house in Southwest Philly. | How I Bought This House

    He cut his rent by $2,000 a month. Then he bought a $165,000 house in Southwest Philly. | How I Bought This House

    The buyer: Dylan Foglesong, 28, program manager

    The house: A 1,150-square-foot townhouse in Southwest Philly with two bedrooms and two bathrooms built in 1925.

    The price: Listed for $180,000; purchased for $165,000.

    The agent: Kristie Bergey, Coldwell Banker

    The ask: Dylan Foglesong felt like he was overpaying for his apartment. He was spending $2,600 a month, plus utilities, for a two-bedroom place in Manayunk, and the money was going toward a place he would never own.

    Dylan Foglesong tends to an area he calls the shrine in his home.Elizabeth Robertson / Staff Photographer

    After six months, he paid the fee to break his lease and moved into a house with friends. His rent dropped to $600 a month, and because he was subletting month-to-month, he could leave whenever he wanted. He was saving more than $2,000 a month, and he realized he could put that money toward buying a house.

    Foglesong had a simple wish list. As an avid cyclist, he wanted to be near multiple bike paths. He also wanted outdoor space, two usable bedrooms, and a low price. He did not care about central air or polished finishes. “I just wanted a cheap place that worked,” he said.

    The search: Foglesong started searching in January, focusing on a small section of Southwest Philadelphia near Bartram’s Garden and the trail network along the Schuylkill. He wanted to remain close to Center City so he could bike to work.

    Foglesong uses the rope wall to work out in the studio of his home.Elizabeth Robertson / Staff Photographer

    He saw five houses. The first one was in his ideal location, but the floors were scratched and coming up, the kitchen looked decades out of date, and the upstairs had the cramped three-bedroom layout he wanted to avoid. It would have taken too much work to reach a point where he was not “barfing every morning at how much of an eyesore it was,” he said.

    The only other serious contender had a large backyard, a clean basement, and an updated kitchen. But a quarter of the ceiling in one upstairs room appeared to be collapsing because of a leak. The house was listed for about $212,000. Foglesong offered $190,000, figuring he could use the difference to repair the roof, but the seller rejected the offer.

    The appeal: The fifth and final house had a great layout. Both rooms upstairs were large. It also recently had “a really thoughtful renovation,” Foglesong said. The updates included a new HVAC system and appliances, while the house also had a finished basement with high ceilings, outdoor space, and an enclosed front porch where he could store his bikes.

    Foglesong also liked the location on a quiet side street with little through traffic. “It’s on the kind of street that you wouldn’t drive down unless you lived there or you knew someone who lived there,” Foglesong said. Most of the houses on the block were occupied, which made the neighborhood feel established.

    Dylan Foglesong is reflected in a mirror that hangs, next to classic car ads, in the foyer of his home.Elizabeth Robertson / Staff Photographer

    The deal: The house had initially been listed for a little more than $181,000 before the seller lowered the price to $180,000. It had been on the market for roughly five months by the time Foglesong saw it.

    He offered $170,000 and asked the seller to contribute 3% toward closing costs. They declined the closing assistance but countered at $165,000. The lower price ended up saving Foglesong the same amount of money, so he accepted.

    The inspection was clean, save for one issue with the electrical. When Foglesong called Peco to arrange service, he learned that the house was not legally connected, even though the power was on. An electrical inspection found that the breaker box needed work, and the seller hired an electrician to set it up properly. But Foglesong still could not transfer the service into his name until the seller paid thousands of dollars in outstanding utility balances. The whole thing “seemed a little sus,” Foglesong said, but it worked out.

    The money: Foglesong put 3% down, or $4,950. Including his closing costs, he paid about $11,600 out of pocket to buy the $165,000 house. His mortgage rate is 6.25%. Today, his monthly payment, including property taxes, is $1,300.

    He already had some savings when he moved in with roommates, but the drop in rent allowed him to build the rest quickly. He estimates that he was saving nearly $3,000 a month. Within 3½ months, he had accumulated enough to cover the down payment and closing costs. “You take that little compromise for a couple of months,” Foglesong said about moving in with friends, “and all of a sudden you have $11,000 in your bank account.”

    The move: Foglesong closed in April and moved his belongings from the shared house into a 10-foot U-Haul. Everything fit in one load, and he completed the move over two days without hiring movers or asking friends to help.

    He managed it alone because he did not own much heavy furniture. His couch comes apart into sections, and he sleeps on a futon that he could fold and carry over his shoulders. For everything else, he improvised. “You put a blanket on the stairs, slide the furniture down,” Foglesong said. “You figure it out.”

    Life after close: At first, buying the house felt less momentous than Foglesong expected. He had imagined “a really grand, movie-montage sequence,” he said, but moving in felt much like any of the other moves he had made during his 10 years in Philadelphia.

    But as the weeks passed, the difference between his new home and the others became clearer. He was no longer paying rent for a place that belonged to someone else. He owned the house, and the monthly payment was within his budget. “It’s very grounding to wake up in a place that you can afford,” Fogelson said.

    The experience also reinforced his belief that young buyers may need to reconsider what they expect from their first home. “You have to be realistic about what you can access right now,” Foglesong said. “Your first house doesn’t have to be your dream home.”

    Editor’s note: This article has been updated to correct real estate agent Kristie Bergey’s name.

    Did you recently buy a home in the Philadelphia area or South Jersey? Share the story of how you did it. Email Inquirer real estate reporters at properties@inquirer.com.

  • A summer weekend in Bethlehem | Field Trip

    A summer weekend in Bethlehem | Field Trip

    O little town of Bethlehem, how we see thee as just a place to visit during the holidays.

    It’s true that the former steel city, tucked between Allentown and Easton along the Lehigh River, leans into — and has built a whole tourism industry around — its Christmas-themed name and roots, but there’s much more to Bethlehem than carols and holly.

    The forest and river beckon in summer, and the city’s position along the Delaware and Lehigh Trail, which parallels the Lehigh Canal, puts visitors within easy access of both.

    There’s an old-fashioned ice cream parlor, a grand historic hotel, a blueberry festival, even a UNESCO World Heritage Site. And if you really, really need a dose of holiday spirit, Christmas in July is right around the corner.

    Start the car.

    Stay: Hotel Bethlehem

    Bethlehem’s main street (literally, Main Street) twists up from the Lehigh River and stretches like taffy into a long straightaway lined with shops and cafes. At the foot of this drag is Hotel Bethlehem, built atop the 1741 foundation of the First House of Bethlehem and later the 1823 Golden Eagle Hotel. It has operated as Hotel Bethlehem — through periods of both glamour and neglect — for more than a century. Today, its crimson neon sign glows above the brick facade, while its rooms blend industrial touches with classic historic design. Across the street, a collection of modern suites houses the hotel’s spa. The property has been named the nation’s best historic hotel by USA Today, for five years running.

    📍 437 Main St., Bethlehem, Pa. 18018

    Eat: Cafe the Lodge

    Cross the river to the South Side Historic District for breakfast — think vanilla-cinnamon French toast or loaded home fries bowls — or lunch, with options like a Cuban sandwich or cheddar-jalapeño burger. Cafe the Lodge is more than a charming cafe with a courtyard garden and art gallery. Since opening in 2012, it has provided transitional employment and housing opportunities for adults living with mental health diagnoses.

    📍 427 E. Fourth St., Bethlehem, Pa. 18015

    See: Moravian Church Settlements

    Long before the Protestant Reformation, the Moravians were establishing a religious movement in Central Europe. Fast-forward a few centuries, and the Moravian church established an American foothold in Bethlehem whose well-preserved 18th-century buildings, cemetery, and museum now form part of the only transnational UNESCO World Heritage Site in the U.S. (sister settlements in Ireland, Denmark, and Germany comprise the collective). The Moravian Church Settlements tour explores this fascinating history, whether you’re interested in religion or simply great storytelling.

    📍 66 W. Church St., Bethlehem, Pa. 18018

    Celebrate: Bethlehem Blueberry Festival

    You gotta love a small-town summer fruit festival, and Bethlehem goes all in on blueberries every July. The 39th annual Bethlehem Blueberry Festival returns to Burnside Plantation the weekend of July 18 with blueberry pie, ice cream, coffee cake, lemonade, doughnuts, strudel, and just about every other indigo-colored treat imaginable. There are also live musicians, blacksmithing demonstrations, baby-goat snuggling and, naturally, a pie-eating contest. Resist the urge to yell, “Violet, you’re turning violet, Violet.”

    📍 1461 Schoenersville Rd., Bethlehem, Pa. 18018

    Move: Historic Bethlehem River Tours

    There’s no need to decide between a paddle down the Lehigh River or bike along the Delaware and Lehigh Trail with Historic Bethlehem River Tours. Their Glendon Dam Discovery package, which launches from the Nagy’s Landing trailhead just east of downtown, pairs a peaceful two-mile downstream paddle with a six-mile bike ride to the dam’s overlook. It’s beginner-friendly and unguided, meaning you can go at your own pace, with HBRT providing all the equipment (and a shuttle back if you’re feeling lazy).

    📍 Wilson Avenue trailhead, Bethlehem, Pa. 18020

    Dine: Bolete

    Named after a wild mushroom, Bolete isn’t just one of Bethlehem’s best restaurants. It’s one of Pennsylvania’s best restaurants. Chef-owner Lee Chizmar serves an exactingly prepared, terroir-driven menu in a stone-walled former country inn dressed with maximalist wallpaper and antique lighting. Depending on the season, you might find smoked pork chop with cherries and shiitakes, or foie gras paired with funnel cake, blueberries, and Valley Milkhouse fromage blanc.

    📍 1740 Seidersville Rd., Bethlehem, Pa. 18015

    Indulge: The Bethlehem Dairy Store

    If a town has a historic ice cream stand, and it’s summer, you should proceed immediately there for dessert. Bethlehem’s is the Bethlehem Dairy Store, a low-slung diner with neon sundaes and hot dogs in the windows that’s giving Nifty Fiftys. But “The Cup,” as locals call it, far predates Nifty, opening way back in 1927. Hand-dipped ice cream, soft serve, frozen yogurt, and sherbet comprise the roster of frosty treats, coming in flavors like dulce de leche, lemon cookie crunch, chocolate raspberry truffle, and mint Oreo.

    📍 1430 Linden St., Bethlehem, Pa. 18018

  • Is it rude to turn down a Fourth of July barbecue because it’s 1,000 degrees?

    Is it rude to turn down a Fourth of July barbecue because it’s 1,000 degrees?

    This week’s question (Have your own? Submit it here.):

    Is it rude to turn down a Fourth of July barbecue because it’s going to be 1,000 degrees? Let a woman sit inside … I’ll cook faster than the chicken.

    Rosa Cartagena, Arts & Entertainment reporter

    My knee-jerk response: Say no, and don’t feel guilty.

    But for a better read on the situation — what’s your relationship to the host? Is this a must-do annual gathering? Are these friends you haven’t seen in a long time? Either way, we’re experiencing an extreme heat advisory, and you need to take care of yourself, so maybe staying home is the best bet.

    Mike Newall, Life & Culture reporter

    Before we begin, let me tell you a few facts about myself — so you can fully understand my bias. I was born with transparent skin. Nickname was Casper. I also hate sweating. Not if I’m exercising or playing sports or working. But if I’m just sitting down — I don’t want to be sweating.

    I also don’t drink anymore. Given all that, I don’t ever like to be at a barbecue unless it’s in chilly Maine or I’m cooking. Because then I’ll be working, at least.

    And Rosa’s right. Look after number one when it comes to heat advisories!

    Rosa Cartagena

    Oof, yeah, I agree with Mike — the sweat situation won’t be cute for anyone. What’s so special about this particular cookout, aside from the holiday? If it’s not an important tradition for you and your loved ones, then pass on this one and find another (cooler) time to enjoy the food and outdoors without so much discomfort. But if you do feel pressure to show up, you could always stop by early for a quick hour to show face and then duck out.

    For my part, I do love the sun, and I think day drinking is the only July Fourth activity that I properly enjoy, but especially if you’re someone who’s older, or possibly have health concerns, it’s not worth the risk for some hamburgers. Protect your body (and your peace).

    Mike Newall

    Show your face to the bathroom mirror when you’re all sunburned!!!

    Look, barbecues are just occasions to do things that aren’t enjoyable in 100-degree heat: make small talk, make sure the kiddo doesn’t get hurt or hurt anyone else, drink constant water and soda to keep boredom and nerves at bay and keep having to ask to use the bathroom (because of all that water and soda).

    Rosa Cartagena

    Totally true. I’d only add that it might be worth calling the host to see if their plans have shifted given the impending inferno — if they’re making adjustments to bring the party indoors, it may be worth the heat of traveling there and back. If not, just think how much happier you’ll be at home, in your AC, watching the World Cup and fireworks from the comfort of your couch.

    Mike Newall

    Call this host and ask them what the heavens to Betsy they were thinking of in the first place! Inviting you to such an obviously dangerous party in the first place! This selfish Meatapalozza in the middle of inhuman temps!

    An event you would have to prepare an item for, pick out an outfit for, think of witty remarks for — all in the middle of Dante’s return!

    But look, I’m someone who talks a big game, then goes and has the time of my life. So it’s really jump ball!

    Look one things for certain. You can have a blast at a barbecue. It can be the summer kickback your soul needed. But this weather ain’t no joke.

    Rosa Cartagena

    Of course, there’s something really special about being outside and partying this week because there are thousands upon thousands of tourists enjoying the city and bringing such amazing, positive energy that I’d encourage everyone to experience. So if you wind up thinking, I want to have a good time during this historic, momentous celebration, I’m on your side. It could be a game-day decision. The urge to party may outweigh the dreaded sweat.

    For me, I’d probably need just a couple tequila shots to make me feel invincible to the heat. (Then lots of water after, I promise.)

    Mike Newall

    Yes, drink responsibility! Do what you want! Have fun! And if anyone at this party brings up the 250th, just talk longly and loudly about how it all happened here. In short, be you. Be Philly. Happy 250th!

  • How to have a Perfect Philly Day, according to historian, author, and educator Michelle Craig McDonald

    How to have a Perfect Philly Day, according to historian, author, and educator Michelle Craig McDonald

    Philadelphia historian, author, and educator Michelle Craig McDonald knows her coffee. Especially the revolutionary kind.

    McDonald, who serves as an academic adviser for PBS’s series Drive By History, is the author of the new book, Coffee Nation: How One Commodity Transformed the Early United States.

    Philly historian and educator Michelle Craig McDonald enjoys reading in Rittenhouse Square Park. She is the author of “Coffee Nation: How One Commodity Transformed the Early United States.”
    Jose F. Moreno / Staff Photographer

    Telling the story of America and coffee, McDonald traces the bean’s beginnings from slavery-based plantations of the Caribbean and South America in the early 1700s through its prominence in Colonial life to the rebranding of the exotic good as an American staple. McDonald details the emergence of coffee shops, like the Old London Coffee House at Front and Market Streets, as critical Revolutionary-era hubs for politics and business.

    “Within 50 years of our independence, the United States becomes one of the largest suppliers of coffee to the world — but we can never grow it,” said McDonald. So in this moment, when we think about independence, coffee really reminds us that the United States remains deeply tied and deeply embedded with the economies of the region. It was not just a self-sustaining nation that looked inward.”

    Given the nature of her research, it’s no surprise that McDonald’s Perfect Philly Day revolves around food and drink. McDonald, a Southern California native who lives in Rittenhouse Square with her husband and fellow historian, Roderick A. McDonald, said her perfect day includes lots of coffee and cooking, a great Philly workout, and reading crime novels in Rittenhouse Square.

    6:30 a.m.

    My coffee pot is my first spot. I’m going to need fortification if I’m going to tackle the day’s news. I just go with the tried and true Colombian roast from Trader Joe’s.

    When we are down the Shore, my favorite comes from Remedee Coffee, started by two sisters who source their beans from Colombia. It’s a great small business.

    On a perfect day, this is when we do our New York Times games — like Connections or Wordle — which we do together. My sister says it’s cheating. I like to say it’s “collaborating.”

    8:30 a.m.

    I love cooking of all kinds, but baking is my first love. My go-to on a perfect day is a batch of scones. I have a recipe that I got online from a website called Love and Lemons. It’s a base recipe. You can make anything you want. Cranberry, orange walnut, apricot, ginger almond, or my brother-in-law’s favorite, which I know because he buys the ingredients every time I visit, blueberry lemon.

    I used to head over to Metropolitan Bakery on 19th Street, which I am still mourning the loss of.

    I loved their Millet Muffins and raisin walnut bread. My freezer is stuffed with both because I bought as many as I could before they closed. And I’m slowly rationing them so I don’t lose them quickly.

    9:30 a.m.

    We have a solid division of labor in the household. I do the cooking. But my husband does the shopping. While the scones are in the oven, he may well be on his way down to the Italian Market on his vintage 1962 Schwinn bicycle — expertly serviced by Curtis at Via Bicycle on Broad Street. He’s a fan favorite!

    My husband is the provisioner of the house. I get to take what he brings back from the list — and sometimes not from the list. It feels like my own personal version of Chopped. He comes home with five ingredients and says, “What can you do with this?’”

    10 a.m.

    I’m hitting the gym. I do love eating, which means I need to pay the piper. I go to Pure Barre in Center City. It’s wonderful. It’s a class — a core-based workout that does weightlifting, planks, pushups. An hour there, any day I can get it, gives me enough brownie points for the rest of the day’s culinary adventures.

    If the weather is nice, we might substitute a bike ride down the Schuylkill River Trail. Manayunk is a great destination.

    Noon

    That’s when Small World Seafood is in the area with deliveries. It’s an Old City business that was born out of necessity. The owner provided fresh seafood to restaurants during the COVID-19 pandemic. Then he began an online business selling directly to customers. You can get anything — halibut, skate steaks, steelhead trout, oysters, clams — for a lazy cooking night.

    Michelle Craig McDonald’s perfect Philly day includes lots of coffee and cooking, a great Philly workout, and reading crime fiction in Rittenhouse Square.Jose F. Moreno / Staff Photographer

    1 p.m.

    I’ve got the fish and I’m marinating it for dinner. Steelhead trout is one of my favorites, so super easy, a little bit of soy, a little bit of orange, a little bit of brown sugar, a little bit of maple, and garlic.

    2 p.m.

    On a perfect day, when I can while my time away, you will find me reading in Rittenhouse Square. I have an abiding passion for crime fiction. Ann Cleeves. Donna Leon.

    And if it’s not great weather, you could still find me reading, but probably in one of any of a dozen coffee shops that are within walking distance of my house.

    There was a great article that just ran recently in The Inquirer about the rise of Yemeni coffee shops in the city, such as Moka & Co.

    3 p.m.

    This is where it’s going to get busy. I would be remiss if I didn’t bring a little history and culture into this day. The American Philosophical Society has a wonderful project called “The Revolutionary City: A Portal to the Nation’s Founding.” It’s a partnership where five Philadelphia historical institutions — the APS, the Library Company of Philadelphia, the Historical Society of Pennsylvania, the Kislak Center at Penn Libraries, and the Museum of the American Revolution — came together to plan for 2026, and all their exhibits build on each other. Now I know that’s a long afternoon. Readers can pick and choose and see the others on their second favorite perfect Philly day [laughter].

    6 p.m.

    My husband and I cook together. If it’s Saturday, the compulsory listen is “The Many Moods of Ben Vaughn.” Cooking is my way to unwind and my husband is an excellent sous chef.

    8 p.m.

    We tend to have a leisurely meal with a glass of wine or two, and review the day’s exploits. An episode of television in the evening is a good escape. We are huge PBS fans. We love British crime dramas. We are huge fans of Shetland, a Scottish crime drama, and Vera, an old British crime drama with a curmudgeonly police detective.

    10 p.m.

    I am not a night owl. But I will confess to a wee dram of bourbon most evenings. Then, a little more light reading. And it’s time for lights out.


    This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

  • Boston picked a fight, and Philly kept the party going | Weekly Report Card

    Boston picked a fight, and Philly kept the party going | Weekly Report Card

    Boston picked a fight over history: A+

    Boston wanted to argue that its Revolutionary history could stand toe-to-toe with Philadelphia’s. That was a risky bet.

    So The Inquirer’s Dugan Arnett, previously of the Boston Globe, went north to investigate. What followed was less a travel story and more a historical audit.

    The Battle of Bunker Hill wasn’t actually fought on Bunker Hill. Plymouth Rock probably wasn’t where the Pilgrims first stepped ashore. Paul Revere never completed the ride he’s famous for. Even Ben Franklin’s grave turned out to be a replica. That’s a tough box score.

    None of this is to say Boston isn’t one of America’s great historic cities. It is. The Freedom Trail is worth walking, and the city has every right to celebrate its place in the nation’s founding.

    But if you’re going to challenge Philadelphia to a history contest, your greatest hits probably shouldn’t come with so many asterisks.

    Meanwhile, Philadelphia is just over here with the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, and enough actual founding history that Nicolas Cage based an entire movie around stealing it.

    Philadelphia didn’t have to make a case for itself; Boston made it.

    A young boy runs through the spray from the fountains at LOVE Park on a hot summer day on July 1. Temperatures are expected to break a bit Saturday into Sunday as the heat wave finally moves out of the region.Jose F. Moreno / Staff Photographer

    The Fourth of July heat: D-

    If there were ever a week for Philadelphia to catch a break from the weather, this was it.

    Instead, the city saw three straight days at or near 100 degrees just as America’s 250th birthday celebration reaches its crescendo. The semiquincentennial parade has been canceled due to extreme heat. Other outdoor events are being canceled or delayed as well. Officials are urging people to rethink their plans, stay hydrated, and check on neighbors. Even SEPTA is slowing trains because of the heat.

    Philadelphia has spent years preparing for this once-in-a-generation celebration. The city can’t control the weather, but the weather doesn’t particularly care about 250 years of planning.

    Hopefully, the forecast proves just pessimistic enough to keep everyone safe without putting too much of a damper on the festivities. Because nobody wants to spend America’s birthday wondering whether it’s too hot to light the grill.

    Cam Gorman, 23, of Gilbertsville, Montgomery County, cheers with Philly Sports Guy at the FIFA Fan Festival on June 19 as the USA beats Australia.Tyger Williams / Staff Photographer

    Philadelphia keeps the party going: A

    Soccer fans spent part of this week roasting Boston after noticing the city had already shut down its World Cup Fan Festival, despite still having two knockout matches left to host.

    To be fair, Boston only ever planned to keep the festival open through the group stage. Meanwhile, we’re still going.

    As the tournament moves into the knockout rounds, Philadelphia still has a Fan Festival, another World Cup match, and America’s 250th birthday celebration all packed into the same week.

    So for one more week, Philadelphia still feels like the center of the soccer world.

    At a Wednesday news conference, Philadelphia Mayor Cherelle Parker outlines public safety and transportation plans for the July 4 concert expected to draw thousands to the Benjamin Franklin Parkway.Jose F. Moreno / Staff Photographer

    If it wasn’t broken: C-

    Philadelphia didn’t need to reinvent its Fourth of July celebration.

    For more than three decades, Welcome America handled the festivities with a mix of public funding, private sponsorships, and corporate partners. This year, the city took over the marquee concert, gave it a new name, hired a new producer, and increased the cost to taxpayers to about $15.5 million. Maybe it will be spectacular.

    Christina Aguilera, Jill Scott, The Roots, Meek Mill, Will Smith, and a fireworks show over the Parkway sounds like a pretty great night.

    But when government spends several times more to replace a system that was already working, it’s fair to ask what taxpayers are getting in return.

    Philadelphia deserves a memorable 250th birthday celebration, but it also deserves an explanation for why it became so much more expensive.

    A Croatian wedding crasher: A+

    You can spend years planning a wedding, but you can’t plan for 300 Croatian soccer fans.

    A Philadelphia couple stepped outside City Hall for the classic wedding photos last week and instead found themselves in the middle of a sea of red-and-white checkered print, singing and dancing. The celebration quickly became one of the most joyful viral moments of the World Cup.

    The funny part is that the newlyweds weren’t the ones who got crashed. They were the ones who accidentally wandered into Croatia’s party.

    The fans serenaded the couple, posed for photos, declared them honorary Croatians, and are now trying to raise money to send them to Croatia for a future trip, Billy Penn reported.

    It’s hard to imagine a better advertisement for Philadelphia hosting the World Cup.

  • The best things we ate this week

    The best things we ate this week

    Hand-rolled ceppe at Le Virtú

    There’s something special about a thick, hand-rolled noodle. As part of its summer menu, Le Virtù’s ceppe — a chewy Abruzzese pasta shape that resembles a short and stout bucatini noodle — are made by hand and tossed in a bright squash blossom pesto. I later learned that ceppe gets its name from the wooden sticks or rods they mimic, a nice bit of pasta trivia I will stow away for quizzo. The hearty plate is topped with zucchini ragu, with a generous amount of the plant mixed throughout the dish, and mozzarella di bufala. It’s best enjoyed with a glass of wine on the restaurant’s beloved patio. Le Virtú, 1927 Passyunk Ave., 215-271-5626, levirtu.com

    — Emily Bloch

    Zhajiang Mian at Opera House, 112 N. Ninth St.Kiki Aranita / Staff

    Zhajiang Mian at Opera House

    It has taken me far too long to get to Opera House, which opened about a year ago in the former Rangoon space. Rangoon had been my favorite restaurant in Philly for years, and I was admittedly bitter about them no longer occupying that storefront on Ninth Street. Now, I’m very pleased to report that my bitterness has now been assuaged.

    Opera House is bright, beautiful, sparkling clean, a visual ode to Chinese opera that specializes in Northern Chinese food. They do have some Cantonese items on the menu (that are just fine), but the real star of the show is their $14.95 zhajiang mian. Saucy, with lean ground pork and lots of slow-cooked onions, these noodles are a true celebration of handmade textures. They’re intentionally a little wonky from being hand-stretched — some parts are thinner than others — so they sop up the super umami-rich fermented soy sauce in interesting ways. Served with sides of cucumber and carrot matchsticks and roasted peanuts, it’s likely the best version of the dish I’ve had in Chinatown, and such a beautiful play on varying textures and temperatures. Opera House, 112 N. Ninth St., 267-639-2376, operahousephilly.com

    — Kiki Aranita

    The Girl Dinner cocktail, a clarified gin martini with a sidecar of gummy worms, at Angeloni’s Club Madrid in Atlantic City, N.J.Margaret Eby / Staff

    Girl Dinner at Angeloni’s Club Madrid

    Atlantic City is a weird and magical place, particularly for those of us who tend to visit in 24-hour increments. I made such a journey last weekend, and the highlight was finally getting to try Angeloni’s Club Madrid, the retro-styled Italian spot that opened in 2024 from the owner’s of the beloved Tony’s Baltimore Grill. Angeloni’s was everything I hoped it would be — part cozy dining experience, part lounge party. Case in point: a DJ somehow seamlessly incorporated Norah Jones into a dance-y set.

    The menu included one of the best versions of cacio e pepe I’ve had in a long time. But the star of the show is the cocktail menu, which has interesting interpretations of classic cocktails, executed with both fidelity to the drink and total whimsy. My favorite was the Girl Dinner, a perfect dirty gin martini served with a blue-cheese stuffed olive and a sidecar of gummy worms. It shouldn’t work — blue cheese and gummy worms? — but it does. It has that kind of slightly off-kilter energy that a really fun party does, where things are always threatening to fly off the hinges but somehow stay just contained enough for a memorably good time. Angeloni’s Club Madrid, 2400 Arctic Ave., Atlantic City, N.J., clubmadridac.com

    — Margaret Eby

    Watermelon gazpacho at Cantina Feliz, Ambler.Michael Klein / Staff

    Watermelon gazpacho at Cantina Feliz

    I always look to July 4 as the unofficial start of watermelon season. This year, that feels especially fitting: Forecasters are calling for one of the hottest Independence Days Philadelphia has seen in nearly a quarter-century, making cold watermelon all the more appealing. That spirit comes through in this watermelon gazpacho from Cantina Feliz in Ambler, which leans savory rather than sweet. Cucumber amplifies the freshness, while finely diced red onion and chives add bite without overwhelming the fruit. A drizzle of verdant herb oil lends richness, and the accompanying shot of sherry gives it a nutty, tangy depth. It’s a refreshing summer starter that becomes more layered with every spoonful. Cantina Feliz, 111 E. Butler Ave., Ambler, 215-646-1320, cantinafeliz.com

    — Michael Klein

  • See it, hear it, feel it: All the Philly art we loved this week

    See it, hear it, feel it: All the Philly art we loved this week

    Finding America at Woodmere’s ‘Arc of Promise’

    Last week, Woodmere director William R. Valerio stood in front of six vibrant works in Woodmere’s Charles Knox Smith Hall’s Antonelli Gallery.

    Behind him were two works by Philadelphia painters Francis Coates Jones and Thomas Hovenden, both depicting an elderly Black person named Sam, who lived in the Germantown/Chestnut Hill area, enjoying moments in nature. Another work, a Dox Thrash etching of a man holding a banjo, suggests he’s more than an entertainer; he’s also an introspective thinker.

    Woodmere director William R. Valerio discusses the “Arc of Promise” exhibition, featuring the work of Philadelphia artists who portray Black people with humanity. A number of the works are from the Civil War era.Elizabeth Wellington

    Contemporary artist Allan L. Edmond’s lithograph, America’s Bicentennial, features luminaries Frederick Douglass, Martin Luther King, and Barack Obama alongside scenes of African American struggle and achievement.

    What if America in the 19th century — when many of these works were made — embraced Black men’s humanity? Valerio asked, sparking my own questions.

    What if we came to terms with how unfair treatment of women, minorities, and immigrants in the past impacted our lives today?

    Would America be a different place?

    These questions find answers in every nook, cranny, and inch of Woodmere’s “Arc of Promise” exhibit. Each painting, ceramic, map, or mixed media collage speaks to how Philly artists — from the 17th century through today — envisioned the idea of America.

    From left to right, “Untitled,” 1874; by Charles V. Brown; Francis Coates Jones; “The Fifteenth Amendment (or Civil Rights), George Bacon Wood, 1875; “Left in Charge,” 1882; Thomas Hovenden, “I’s So Happy,” 1882; Dox Thrash, “Played Out” c. 1937; “American Bicentennial,” Allan L. Edmunds. These photos show the humanity of Black men during an era when art didn’t portray them as such.Elizabeth Wellington

    Many — including Barbara Bullock’s seminal sculpture honoring the life of Trayvon Martin and the charcoal works of the late Peter Paone — are a part of Woodmere’s vast permanent collection.

    But there are also several important works on loan including protest photography by Harvey Finkle and a mixed-media necklace by Teri Hislop, a member of the Lenape Nation of Pennsylvania. Henry Bermudez’s Miss America, completed in 2019, offers a layered vision of America through migration, mythology, and identity. It sits next to sculptor Hiram Powers’ “America,” in which 19th-century America is depicted as a Greek goddess.

    There is a lot of pomp, circumstance, and sparkle in this lively retrospective. The must-see gallery, however, is the Schnader Gallery Hall because it includes a pristine collection of refurbished American landscapes by local 19th-century artists Frederic Edwin Church and James Hamilton featuring many a Schuylkill waterfall. Think of this gallery as a place to retreat after a bustling Fourth of July weekend.

    “Arc of Promise” takes its name from watercolor artist Jerry Pinkney, a longtime friend of the Woodmere who used the term as a way to speak to an America of unfolding potential, despite its past unequal treatment of Black people, immigrants, and women.

    “Arc of Promise” runs through Nov. 2, 2026, Woodmere’s Smith Hall is located at 9201 Germantown Ave.

    — Elizabeth Wellington

    Actor John Clarence Stewart as the titular character in “Basil Biggs” at the Wilma Theater.REC Philly

    Excavating history with ‘Basil Biggs’

    There is something so powerful about seeing someone grapple with their personal experience of American history. As Semiquincentennial fanfare reached a fever pitch in Philadelphia, this workshop of a developing play by actor/playwright Anna Deavere Smith was a deeply moving performance about her great-great-grandfather, Basil Biggs, a conductor on the Underground Railroad. Smith learned of him in an episode of Finding Your Roots; even then, she knew his story was worthy of a play, though she didn’t start writing until a decade later.

    Biggs was a veterinarian and farmer in Gettysburg during the Civil War, a free Black man who helped fugitives escape slavery and who buried the tens of thousands of soldiers who died in the war’s bloodiest battle. The Biggs family house still stands today, and Smith visited the grounds, as well as the Adams County Historical Society, while she researched the time period. There was little historical documentation about her family, so this work is narrative speculation, based on her research of the time period, much like groundbreaking scholar Saidiya Hartman’s critical fabulation: In the absence of records about African Americans, visionaries use archival materials to imagine the lives of those largely erased from written memory.

    Smith crafted a riveting world that showcased fierce resilience, disarming humor, and profound empathy during a painfully divided time. The story is fueled by original music from actor/violinist Edward W. Hardy. It was an honor to experience one of the earliest presentations of this play, which will likely grow into a major production. It’s the kind of honest work about this nation’s bloody, conflicted history that feels like essential viewing for anyone who calls themself a patriot.

    “Basil Biggs” ran June 26-28 at the Wilma Theater as part of ArtPhilly’s What Now: 2026 festival.

    — Rosa Cartagena

    Adam Weiner of Low Cut Connie. The band’s new album is “Livin’ in the U.S.A.”Danny Clinch

    Romping, stomping, piano-pounding resistance with Low Cut Connie

    Adam Weiner of Low Cut Connie has stressed that the band’s eighth studio album, whose release is timed to America’s 250th birthday, is an act of resistance.

    Shortly after becoming one of the first artists to cancel at the Kennedy Center after the Trump administration’s takeover of the D.C. institution in early 2025, Weiner recorded what became the title song.

    As he explains in an explanatory note that accompanies the album, it addresses “the atrocity of ICE, authoritarianism, racism” and led to a full set of songs “about the times we are living through in America 2026.”

    But while Weiner’s political stance is unequivocal — “I made this album to say f— you to this regime, to the brutality, and inhumanity of our tech leaders,” he writes — his music is much more subtle.

    Many of the titles like “Oh Yeah” and “Get Down” on Livin in the USA are essentially party songs: romping, stomping, piano-pounding, and saxophone-wailing celebrations of diversity and sexuality that aren’t the slightest bit preachy or pedantic.

    Singing a gospel of self-liberation, Weiner is accompanied by the touring LCC band, which includes singer Amanda “Rocky” Bullwinkel,” guitarist-sax player Kelsey Cork, and drummer Jarae Lewis. Occasionally, as in the grinding “Human Condition,” the songs are overt in their condemnation of life during Trump time, which he likens to “living in a house of detention.”

    But in general, he heeds lessons learned from favorite albums like Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the USA and Sly and the Family Stone’s There’s a Riot Goin’ On. When delivering a heavy message, always keep the groove going and the rock rolling.

    “Just because the world is collapsing,” Weiner writes in his Livin album note, “doesn’t mean we can’t go skinny dipping this weekend.” “Can’t Be Wrong” is perhaps the most grabby earworm in a tight, 10-song set whose energy never flags. In that song, the prospect of “gettin’ naked in the afternoon, or maybe later underneath the moon” leads to an obvious conclusion: “Oh babe, you know it can’t be wrong.”

    “Livin in the USA” releases July 3

    — Dan DeLuca

    Remembering LGBTQ+ activists

    Resting in peace can also mean resting in pride and power. A new Gayborhood mural provides a tribute that does exactly that.

    In Pride, In Power, In Memory is located on the side of Voyeur Nightclub at 1221 James St., a prominent spot amid Philadelphia’s queer nightlife.

    The mural is located outside of Voyeur Nightclub in Philadelphia’s Gayborhood.Morgan Ritter

    Painted by artist Santiago Galeas, the mural displays portraits of Gloria Casarez, Michael S. Hinson Jr., Tyrone Smith, Nizah Morris, and Dawn Munro; all LGBTQ+ activists who called Philadelphia home.

    Each figure is accompanied by a flower symbolizing the person’s life and identity; Casarez’s portrait is adorned by Mexican marigolds, for example, as a nod to her heritage. The faces were all drawn referencing photos of them looking hopeful and optimistic.

    The mural is strikingly bright, with vivid shades of purple and yellow illuminating the portraits.

    These trailblazers pursued several kinds of activism in their lives, including AIDS awareness, trans rights, and community organization to rally for queer rights. Without them, the status of Philadelphia’s acceptance of the queer community may have looked completely different today.

    “In Pride, In Power, In Memory” is located on the side of Voyeur Nightclub at 1221 James St.

    — Morgan Ritter

  • Dear Abby | Man’s excuses and absences continue to expand

    DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband for 10 years. Ever since I have known him, he has had issues with depression and anxiety. I have tried to support him through these diagnoses.

    He has attempted to go to therapy several times, but he never sticks with it. Once the therapist gets to the point where they start to get into what he needs to work on, he quits. He claims no one understands what he is going through. This has impacted every aspect of his life — sleep, eating habits and his controlling attitude toward me. He also works out excessively (like five hours a day).

    It has also affected his ability to enjoy life and his job. He takes a lot of time off work, claiming he needs the rest, but he doesn’t rest. He does other things. When I say he needs to go to work like everybody else, he gets mad. His employer is now on his case for excessive absences. He refuses to take responsibility and says his employer is “targeting him.” Nothing is ever his fault. There is always an excuse.

    This has greatly affected our marriage and his relationships with our two children, who really want their dad around, but he is not. I am a counselor. I see narcissistic tendencies in his behavior. I love him very much, and he has not always been like this. I don’t want to quit on him, but I don’t know what to do. I can’t continue to live like this, and I need to help our children live their best lives. Please help.

    — LIKE A SINGLE PARENT IN NEW MEXICO

    DEAR SINGLE PARENT: I am sure that, as a therapist, you realize you can’t help someone who refuses to be helped. It is time to put the welfare of your children first. Give your husband an ultimatum: Get help for his issues and stick with it, or you are leaving and taking the children with you. The atmosphere you have described is unhealthy for them and for you as well. P.S. As I’m sure you are aware, some counselors have therapists. Please consider enlisting some emotional support for yourself as you make your way through this.

    ** ** **

    DEAR ABBY: I have a friend whom I love and enjoy being with. However, when we spend extended periods of time together, such as a few days on a trip, it doesn’t work well because of our personalities and belief systems. She is not aware of the struggles I have when spending more than a few hours with her and regularly invites me to go on trips with her. I have put her off a few times without telling her the truth. Is there a polite way to tell her that I’d rather not go on a trip with her?

    — BRIEFLY IN DELAWARE

    DEAR BRIEFLY: Tell your friend that you love her and enjoy being with her, but that if it involves leaving home for any length of time it makes you “anxious.” You do not have to explain any further. You may, however, have to refrain from telling her about any travel you do with other, more compatible friends.

    ** ** **

    DEAR READERS: Happy 250th birthday to the USA! Let’s all enjoy a safe and happy Fourth of July! P.S. Wishing a Happy Heavenly Birthday to you, Mom!

    — LOVE, ABBY