There was no curbing Philadelphians’ enthusiasm at the first Philadelphia Parallel Parking Association (PPPA) Championship at Headhouse Plaza in Society Hill on Saturday, as hundreds of revved-up spectators gathered to watch 14 competitors put themselves into a tight spot.
After several rounds, one of which involved dodging things like a spontaneous Eagles fan celebration and a snow-shoveling citizen using a folding chair for savesies, Mario “One-Shot Mar” Zucca of West Mount Airy was crowned the Best Parallel Parker in Philadelphia.
“Total bliss,” Zucca said, of the feeling that washed over him when he won the title. “It was amazing.”
While his win had a lot to do with skill, it also had a lot to do with flair. Zucca, who is an artist and illustrator, donned a red stuntman suit and, just prior to competing in the final round, opened up the hatchback of his 2012 Mazda and out popped a bunch of balloons, including a gold “1,” which remained tied to his car as he parked. After revealing the balloons, he then ran up and down the crowd with a money gun shooting fake Philadelphia Parking Authority (PPA) traffic tickets with his nickname on it into the audience.
For winning the title, Zucca received bragging rights for a year, a trophy with a piece of a curb on it, and $76 to pay for his next parking ticket.
Adam Wodka, self-appointed commissioner of the newly formed PPPA, which is not affiliated with the PPA, also made a surprise announcement at the start of the championship that the PPA had reached out to him and promised to give the top three finalists free parking in any Center City garage for the month of October.
Rounding out the finalists were LaTasha “Tasha” Hall of Northeast Philly, a heavy equipment operator who works at the Delaware River Port Authority, and Shafir “Pirate One Shot” Mondal of Norris Square, whose dad owns Mondal Driving School.
Mondal, who outfitted his car with decals from the manga series One Piece and wore a Monkey D. Luffy hat, said even though he didn’t win, the experience was worth it.
“I feel great. I loved the energy that people had for parallel parking and the love they had for Philadelphians,” he said.
Nearly 900 people applied for the first PPPA Championship, which Wodka created earlier this year to promote excellence in parallel parking. Ten finalists were chosen by PPPA’s executive board, which is made up of seven of Wodka’s friends, and five were chosen by a popular vote online.
In classic Philly fashion, one of the competitors didn’t show up (he’s probably still circling the block looking for a space) and most of those who did participate didn’t use their turn signals.
As DJ Elevator Machine Room pumped music about cars and emcee Marisa Magnatta and referee Rebekah Rickards pumped up the crowd, competitors faced off in their own vehicles without using their backup cameras in three separate categories:
- One shot: Get closest to the curb in one attempt.
- Tight squeeze: With 18 inches of clearance, park closest to the curb using the least amount of moves.
- Under duress: Park as fast as you can while faced with distractions.
The tight squeeze category was definitely the most challenging, with many competitors giving more than just a light tap to the cars in front and behind them. Those vehicles were owned by Wodka and his partner, who offered them up as a sacrifice.
Under duress was a crowd-favorite category in which drivers had to try to ignore any number of things they might encounter on a Philly road, including a Mummers parade, a spontaneous fan celebration, a trash can fire, Philly Elmo and his drum line, a Ben Franklin impersonator, and, of course, a woman with a folding chair and a serious case of the savesies.
Competitors were given points based on their closeness to the curb and how many moves they made. The three judges — pub owner Fergus “Fergie” Carey, viral crossing guard Jamele Ransom, and comedian and social media influencer Betsy Kenney — were also able to hand out three points every round to whomever they chose to influence the scores. The top three scorers then went on to the final round, where the winner was chosen by the judges.
“I always say parking is made worse with an audience and this is one hell of an audience,” Carey said.
The crowd of backseat drivers came with kids, dogs, and posters, and residents around the plaza came out on their balconies and rooftops to watch the spectacle.
Philadelphia’s newest mascot also made his debut at the event. Parallel Pete is a giant orange traffic cone with fuzzy dice, rearview mirrors, and an unsettlingly anxious face.
Proceeds from a merchandise table went to Families for Safe Streets Greater Philadelphia, a program of the Bicycle Coalition of Greater Philadelphia.
While he made no promises, Wodka said he’d love nothing more than to have the championship become an annual event.
“I love the energy. I love that people had fun with it,” he said. “It’s tough out there and we all have stuff going on, so it was really great for a few hours to just celebrate and be silly and have fun.”