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  • Did I buy too much John’s Water Ice for the offseason? My wife thinks so.

    Did I buy too much John’s Water Ice for the offseason? My wife thinks so.

    This week’s question (Have your own? Submit it here.):

    John’s Water Ice just closed for the season, so I decided to do something smart this year: I stocked up. Almost half our freezer is filled with it.

    But, my wife says it’s too much, that we have to have people over soon to eat through it so we actually have freezer space, and that it won’t even taste as good a month from now. But I say: Some John’s is better than no John’s. Did I go too far? Or not far enough?

    Mike Newall, Life & Culture reporter

    Do not second-guess yourself for a moment. You are a good husband and a good man. You saw water ice and you got it and you gave it a home for the winter and now many of your neighbors will want to be your friends. Congrats, you are a local hero.

    If anything, I’d start clearing freezer space for the water ice ahead of time.

    Abigail Covington, Life & Culture reporter

    Listen, I love John’s too. But I am firmly with your wife on this one. Do you want to be the kind of guy who stocks up on stuff? Get a second freezer for the garage. Everybody knows that’s where overflow goods go. You cannot waste precious freezer space on a seasonal treat.

    Mike Newall

    Oh, Abigail, we have been through so much together — I think maybe two of these advice chats, at least — and now we part ways — or at least opinions. Water ice! Water ice! Water ice!

    I see your point on the basement freezer (that’s where my pop kept his pickled pig’s feet). But it’s not like this is last month’s leftovers — it’s water ice. It’ll be gone before Halloween.

    Abigail Covington

    Yes, maybe a compromise is in order. Give the water ice an expiration date. It has to be gone before the holidays when leftovers will inevitably need to move in. Or, I like Mike’s idea — Halloween.

    Mike Newall

    Here’s my thing: Let’s fast-forward a couple weeks or even more to the heart of fall. Leaves are falling. Eagles are on TV. Chill in the air. And you’re in your living room enjoying some fine — possibly maybe a little bit freezer burnt if you don’t really shut the lids — pineapple water ice. To me the appeal is enjoying something when you normally can’t. It’s more than a treat. It’s a little seasonal nostalgia.

    Freezer burn is a reasonable fear, and the sugar and water can over-crystallize over time, making the ice somewhat grainy. But I’m sure that takes time. More than enough time for you to kick back with some well-preserved lemon ice after Thanksgiving dinner.

    Abigail Covington

    I’m sorry but who in Hades wants to eat water ice in November? It’s not ice cream! You can’t serve it with pumpkin pie. I get the nostalgia element, but the joy of a seasonal treat is that it’s seasonal. Make it available year-round and it will undoubtedly lose its luster, especially if it’s got the freezer burn fuzzies.

    Mike Newall

    Oh boy, I got a chill from “freezer burn fuzzies.”

    You know what, Abigail. You convinced me.

    In the spirit of compromise, a solution: Why don’t you and your wife make a water ice date on the next lovely evening. Sit out on the stoop. Enjoy it. Pass it around. Talk about the old days and good times. And then go back inside and chuck the rest out.

    Abigail Covington

    Agreed. There are plenty of water ice spots that stay open year-round for the diehards like yourself. Venture out of the house when the craving hits and let the contents of your freezer change with the seasons. Your wife will thank you.

  • The best thing Beatrice Forman ate this week: Panettone from a Fishtown pop-up

    The best thing Beatrice Forman ate this week: Panettone from a Fishtown pop-up

    On one block of Martha Street, it feels like Christmas came early. Panettone — sliced and dolloped with whipped cream — is already officially for sale.

    The traditional Italian holiday sweet bread is part of the lineup at Formosa, the pop-up bakery from James Beard-nominated pastry chef James Matty that’s taking over the bottle shop inside Picnic on Saturday and Sunday mornings this October.

    Matty, who oversees the pastry program for Defined Hospitality restaurants including Suraya and Condesa, said Formosa is shorthand for Aquaformosa, the tiny mountain village in Calabria, Italy, where his grandfather was born. Likewise, the pop-up’s menu spans bread-forward (and seasonally anachronistic) sweets that are meant to evoke a sense of warmth. There are oversized cinnamon rolls swirled with blueberry jam, a sticky-sweet plum upside down cake, and doughnut shop-style maple pecan cruellers, among other delights.

    At Formosa inside Picnic, pastry chef James Matty’s panettone will be served as $9 slices topped with whipped cream.Monica Herndon / Staff Photographer

    The panettone is Formosa’s crown jewel. Flecked with dark chocolate chips, pecans, and Luxardo cherries, Matty’s version splits the difference between classic and new-aged panettones, which tend to be airier and more voluptuous. His bread is buttery soft and light, with a crackly crust that’s fun to peel off.

    To me — a panettone novice — it tasted like a cross between the world’s moistest poundcake and a sourdough loaf.

    Matty, who grew up in Trooper, Montgomery County, was also not raised in a panettone family. His fixation with the bread began in adulthood while studying at the Culinary Institute of America, where he became enamored with the craftsmanship good panettone requires.

    Pastry Chef James Matty poses inside Picnic, the restaurant hosting his Formosa pastry pop-ups during October 2026.Monica Herndon / Staff Photographer

    Panettone is “like the mountaintop” of bread, said Matty. “It’s the most difficult to pull off consistently.”

    Formosa’s version takes the equivalent of a work week to prepare. The dough must ferment for three days, said Matty. It takes another two to proof and bake. The most stressful test comes at end: Panettone must hang upside while cooling so it doesn’t collapse inward under its own weight.

    The first time Matty made panettone, he said called it a “complete flop.”

    Formosa’s panettone takes five days to prepare.Monica Herndon / Staff Photographer

    “It literally flopped out of the mold,” he said. Upwards of twenty retries later, and Matty’s panettone hangs steadily on the cooling rack, sort of like muffin-shaped bats.

    At Formosa, Matty’s panettone will be served in $9 slices topped with whipped cream. As for selling whole rounds in time for the winter holidays, Matty said to “wait-and-see.”

    For now, I’ll just be adding it to the top of my wish list.

    Formosa at Picnic, 2421 Martha St., instagram.com/formosa.philly. Hours: 8 a.m. – 12 p.m. (or sell out) Saturday – Sunday from Oct. 3 to Oct. 25.

    Panettone’s real test come at the end: To cool, the Italian sweet bread must hang upside down. If prepared incorrectly, it flops.Monica Herndon / Staff Photographer
  • A horse opera, surprise murals in Kensington, and some exquisite china are our favorite Philly art this week

    A horse opera, surprise murals in Kensington, and some exquisite china are our favorite Philly art this week

    A country hip-hop horse opera at the Mann, all thanks to Shaboozey

    Shaboozey make both kinds of music: Country & Western.

    That’s a Blues Brothers joke, but it’s also spot on when it comes to the artist born Collins Obinna Chibueze, particularly when it comes to the Virginia-raised rapper and singer’s 2026 release The Outlaw Cherie Lee & Other Western Tales. That’s his ambitious, cinematic, and loaded-with-guests album that’s the follow up to Where I’ve Been, Isn’t Where I’m Going, the 2024 breakthrough that made him a star.

    That album, of course, included “A Bar Song (Tipsy)” that, along with Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road” and Ella Langley’s current world dominating “Choosin’ Texas,” is one of the biggest country mega hits of the past decade.

    Shaboozey performs during the Roots Picnic at the Mann Center in Philadelphia on Sunday, June 2, 2024.Monica Herndon / Staff Photographer

    To his credit, Shaboozey followed that breakout success with “Tipsy,” and multiple contributions to Beyoncé’s Cowboy Carter, by swinging for the fences with Cherie Lee, a horse opera of an album that tells a story about a woman who sets out to sense her father’s death as not to make some bad relationship choices that put her own life in peril.

    To tell the tale that plays like a Black cowboy spaghetti Western by way of Sergio Leone and Quentin Tarantino, Shaboozey enlists a stellar cast.

    That includes Teyana Taylor, Jamie Foxx, Leon Bridges, Sam Elliot, Gunna, Kehlani, and Orville Peck on a set of songs that lean into Old West gunfighter tropes while mixing country, hip-hop, and film score flourishes.

    When Shaboozey brings this shoot ‘em saga to Philadelphia with his “Outlaws Never Die Tour” — which is playing the Highmark Mann, where he made his local debut at the Roots Picnic in 2024 — he surely won’t have all those big name co-stars with him.

    Or maybe he will, on screen.

    The tour will include “cinematic pre-shot visuals that unfold throughout the performance, complementing the songs and immersing audiences in the world of the album,” so this show promises to be not just a concert but also a night at the movies.

    Shaboozey’s “Outlaws Never Die” tour at the Highmark Mann, 5201 Parkside Ave, at 8 p.m. Tuesday. Highmarkmann.com

    — Dan DeLuca

    Best art, for, always emerges from the most unexpected places. Like gusset plates seen through the length of the Kensington Ave. underbridge; the triangular metal sheet piece that connects the horizontal and vertical beams of the SEPTA Metro track.

    After getting my order of the excellent yuzu ginger cider from Càphê Roasters, I looked up on my way to the L. The afternoon sun fell on the avenue and lit up the art on each little triangle of metal. The artwork — dragons, cats, Pride flags, flowers, monkeys — is part of Mural Arts’ “Heart of Kensington Creates,” a community arts initiative. Each piece — there are more than 400 peeping out from under the bridge from Huntingdon to Tioga — has been drawn by Kensington residents.

    The Kensington Ave. mural “The Future Is Worth The Fight Just Hold On & You Will See” on the left stands side by side with the little triangle of art on the underbridge. That art was created as part of Murat Arts’ “Heart of Kensington Creates” initiative. Photo taken on Oct. 1 2026.Bedatri D. Choudhury

    Right outside Càphê Roasters, at the intersection of J Street and Kensington Ave, a little triangular sea blue, red, yellow, and green peeps out from under the bridge. Right beside it, a mural called The Future Is Worth The Fight Just Hold On & You Will See by artists Jess X. Snow and Frisly Soberanis lights up a wall in its swathe of purple and pink.

    A little street corner witnessing a conversation between artworks before the rush of the L took over the moment.

    — Bedatri D. Choudhury

    Dainty fine china fit for a president

    Fine china is one of the most utilitarian pieces of art work a person can own; delicate and sturdy like the familial connections that use and enjoy it.

    Winterthur Museum, Garden, & Library offers a peak at a famous family’s fine china: George Washington’s. Several pieces from his 302-piece set called “The Society of Cincinnati” are on display at the Delaware museum. “The Society of Cincinnati” was an elite organization of Revolutionary War officers of which Washington was the first president general.

    The president and his family used this very set of china while living at the President’s House at Sixth and Market.

    Three pieces: a tureen, platter, and plate that are on display at Winterthur Museum, Garden & Library as a part of George Washington’s china collectionWinterthur Museum, Garden & Library

    Each piece features a blue border with the Society of Cincinnati’s emblem: a winged figure blowing a trumpet.

    What an interesting way for war and art to come together.

    With 74 pieces in its collection, Winterthur has the largest number of surviving pieces, acquired by the Delaware estate’s owner Henry Francis du Pont in the early 20th century.

    Visitors to Winterthur can view the porcelain works of art in two places in the museum: the Du Pont Dining Room and on the fifth floor in China Hall.

    We can only imagine how many slices of cherry pie were served on these dainty plates.

    Winterthur Museum, Garden & Library is located at 5105 Kennett Pike. Hours are Tuesday-Sunday 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

    — Elizabeth Wellington

  • Eagles vs. Rams predictions: Rounding up experts’ predictions ahead of a Week 4 showdown at the Linc

    Eagles vs. Rams predictions: Rounding up experts’ predictions ahead of a Week 4 showdown at the Linc

    The Eagles don’t have it easy after their first loss of the season. Up next, they’ll face the Los Angeles Rams, whose 1-2 record isn’t reflective of their strength.

    The Birds’ first loss came in prime time against the Bears on Monday Night Football, during which the offense put up just seven points. The Rams endured a Denver Broncos’ comeback on Sunday night for their second loss of the 2026 season.

    Inquirer writers’ predictions for Eagles vs. Rams

    The Eagles, however, will be without No. 1 wide receiver DeVonta Smith, while the Rams are getting a star wideout back in Puka Nacua.

    Let’s take a look at who the media is picking:

    Inquirer predictions

    The Inquirer’s beat reporters had full faith in the Eagles last week, but after their loss to the Bears, our writers don’t have much confidence in the Birds anymore.

    Jeff Neiburg has the Rams winning, 30-20, as his concerns about the defense have grown following the Eagles’ first loss of the year.

    Ryan Novozinsky, meanwhile, is picking Los Angeles because of the Eagles’ wide receiver situation. With Smith unlikely to play, things look a bit bleak for the Birds’ passing game.

    National media predictions

    NFL.com: The Rams edged out the Eagles for the majority this week by the NFL.com analysts. Brooke Cersosimo and Gennaro Filice are the two picking the Birds; Filice cited Rams coach Sean McVay’s poor record all-time against them as a reason for his decision.

    ESPN.com: All of ESPN’s experts picked the Rams over the Eagles.

    The Athletic: Chad Graff is the lone reporter picking the Eagles over the Rams, with his six colleagues backing Los Angeles on the road.

    CBS Sports: This seven-person panel had one more Eagles selection than the Athletic’s, with Pete Prisco and Jamey Eisenberg picking the Birds to win at home.

    USA Today: All six reporters picked Los Angeles to win. “Both teams have reason to be irritated. I give Los Angeles the edge, helped by an extra day of rest and Matthew Stafford’s ability to attack a Philadelphia defense that gave [Case] Keenum room to operate,” Adam Kaufman wrote.

    What should the Eagles do about their backup QB situation?
    Video: What should the Eagles do about their backup QB situation?

    Sports Illustrated: Senior editor Mitch Goldich is the only expert backing the Eagles.

    Bleacher Report: Once again, only one expert has picked the Eagles. Brent Sobleski wrote, “Don’t count these Eagles out. Despite Philadelphia looking like the bad version from last season while playing the Case Keenum-led Bears, Nick Sirianni’s group knows how to respond. The team has gone through stretches of stagnation before and tended to bounce back.”

    Pro Football Talk: Mike Florio has the Rams winning, 30-20. “Last year, a wild play on a game-winning field-goal attempt by the Rams gave the Eagles a win. This year, the Rams will make sure to not let it be that close,” he wrote.

    Sporting News: Bill Bender also has Los Angeles taking home a win, 28-24.

    What to know about tailgating changes coming for Eagles home games

    Local media predictions

    Philly Voice: Jimmy Kempski picked the visiting team, writing that “the Eagles have looked sloppy, disorganized, and they have surprisingly been beaten in the trenches through the first three weeks of the season.”

    Bleeding Green Nation: The staff is split on who’s winning Sunday, with three writers taking the Eagles and the other three picking the Rams.

    Delaware Online: Out of the 11 reporters making picks, eight backed the Rams.

    Turf Show Times: Steven Ridings has Los Angeles winning a close one.

  • How to have a perfect Philly day, according to author Deesha Philyaw

    How to have a perfect Philly day, according to author Deesha Philyaw

    Despite her Philly sounding surname, award winning author Deesha Philyaw is not a Philadelphian — yet.

    Philyaw, whose first book The Secret Life of Church Ladies (West Virginia University Press) won the 2021 PEN/Faulkner Award for fiction and was a finalist in 2020 for the National Book Award for Fiction, is planning to move to the City of Brotherly Love next spring.

    Over the years she’s spent a fair share of weekends in the city visiting restaurants, shopping haunts, and art museums. Philly friends keep her up on the latest happenings. She already has plans to connect with the women and nonbinary literary group The Claw when she moves to town. And she’s on the BlackStar Film Festival’s host committee for its forthcoming gala.

    And Philadelphia, she noted, is extra special to her because it is home to the preeminent Black church, Mother Bethel AME.

    There is a lot of history here.

    The highly anticipated debut novel ‘The True Confessions of First Lady Freeman” by Deesha Philyaw was released Sept. 29. Philyaw appear at a book signing on Oct. 5 at 6 p.m. at the Center City Barnes & Nobles.HarperCollins/Mariner Books

    Philyaw grew up in the Black church and respects its storied past. Still, she says she doesn’t see eye-to-eye with the dogma, patriarchy, and misogynoir.

    That was as apparent in The Secret Life of Church Ladies as it is in her latest novel The True Confessions of First Lady Freeman (HarperCollins, Mariner Books). True Confessions centers on the extravagant life of Atlanta first lady Scharisse Freeman as she tries to fit in with other first ladies in the mega church world. Just as she’s starting to fit in with the catty group, a sex scandal erupts. Scharrise is treated like a pariah and readers are left wondering how such cruelty can be perpetuated in His name.

    “The stories in Church Ladies and True Confessions are not a middle finger to the church or its true believers,” Philyaw said. “They do, however, point out where the institutions have failed and hurt Black people, particularly Black women and queer folks. I don’t feel like I need to protect the church. That has been the problem. In doing so, we look the other way, remain silent, and down play these things.”

    Philyaw, a mom of two who is queer, lived in Pittsburgh for 25 years before moving to Oxford, Miss. where she served as the 2022-2023 John and Renée Grisham Writer-in-Residence at the University of Mississippi before settling in Miami. She’ll be in town on Monday for a talk at Barnes & Nobles and in between book signing and book pedaling, she’ll be taking in the scene of her next homebase.

    This is her idea of a perfect Philly Day.

    One of Akwaaba Bed & Breakfast’s six overnight suites, The Blue Note, named after The Sound of Philadelphia’s most iconic group’s Harold Melvin and The Blue Notes.Akwaaba Bed & Breakfast

    6:30 a.m.

    I’m a woman of a certain age so I’m both an early bird and a night owl. On a wonderful morning, I’d wake up at Akwaaba, the West Philly bed-and-breakfast owned by Monique Greenwood. It’s so beautiful. I’d enjoy a lazy morning that would include having a breakfast of oatmeal without fruit. (Something about fruit and oatmeal irks me.) I’d also have some herbal tea and honey. I’m not a coffee girl.

    Inside of the Barnes Foundation’s galleries. The Barnes Foundation

    10 a.m.

    I would check out one of the private collection tours at the Barnes. I really enjoy the art. They always have such great curated exhibitions like [Maori Karmael Holmes and James Claiborne’s] “Freedom Dreams.” On a perfect Philly day, that exhibit would still be open.

    The oxtail cheesesteak from the Taste Cheesesteak Bar in Center City on Friday, June 14, 2024.Yong Kim / Staff Photographer

    Noon

    I’d have lunch at Logan Square’s Taste Cheesesteak Bar for the oxtail cheesesteak. Then maybe I’d visit the BlackStar film offices in the Bok Building, and definitely catch a movie if the festival was going on.

    Interior of Uncle Bobbie’s Coffee and Books.ALEJANDRO A. ALVAREZ / Staff Photographer

    3 p.m.

    I’d swing by Uncle Bobbie’s Coffee & Books for a cup of tea and add to my TBR reading list, that is a mile long. On my list right now is Queenie is Working On It by Candice Carty-Williams and They All Fall in Love at The End by Halili Blassingame.

    5:30 p.m.

    I still mask indoors so Sally in Rittenhouse Square is one of the few places where I can eat outdoors year round. My friend Tre Johnson took me there a few years ago when I was in town for the AWP Conference (the Association of Writers and Writing Programs). It was in March and they had heated seats. I’d start with the Japanese eggplant, move on to the fennel sausage pizza and I’d have to get that sangarita

    The Philadelphia Parkway Central Library on Logan Square.

    7:30 p.m.

    I’d end the night at a talk and book signing at the Free Library of Philadelphia. These are great events for writers and readers. There is so much to pick from.

    This interview was edited for length and clarity.

    Deesha Philyaw will appear Monday, Oct. 5 for a reading, book signing and live recording of Barnes & Nobles Poured Over podcast hosted by Miwa Messer. The event starts at 6 p.m. Barnes & Nobles Philadelphia, 1708 Chestnut Street, at 6 p.m. Tickets include the cost of the book are $34.56. Ticket information here.

  • To get closer to God, these six women moved into a ‘house of discipleship’

    To get closer to God, these six women moved into a ‘house of discipleship’

    Peace Ike was raised Christian, but in 2017 she found herself in a “low-faith place,” as she describes it. Demoralized and uncertain of what to do next, she traveled to Greece with three close friends.

    During hours of conversation and reflection there, she had a revelation: God wanted her to open a communal space. So upon returning to Philadelphia, she purchased a six-bedroom house in Germantown. She was single, without roommates, or a plan for how to pay the mortgage.

    “When I hear things clearly, I go for it,” Ike, now 41, said.

    Within two months, the rooms were filled, she said.

    Originally, the house didn’t have a spiritual focus, though Ike, who works as a strategist on workplace culture and conflict, would sometimes host worship nights. She hadn’t selected for religious roommates, but she saw her role as helping people to “live well” and grow spiritually. She began her own mornings with devotional time; she would invite people to stay who had nowhere else to go, and pray with strangers who were suffering.

    By its second year, the house had become an intentional “Christ-centered” place. As Ike described it in a recent post for a new roommate, “We range in ages from 29-47 and we truly love the Lord and each other … The greatest thing that bonds us is our passion for Christ.”

    When a new roommate moves in, the women have a long hangout where they ask about pet peeves and personality types. Monica Herndon / Staff Photographer

    The house is now in its ninth year and is home to six women.

    Christina Levy, 31, has lived in the home for almost six years. Levy was born into a Christian Apostolic home in Jamaica; her father was a minister and her mother did missionary work. When she enrolled in Penn’s Graduate School of Education, she moved directly from her family’s home in New Jersey into Ike’s house.

    The women are all independent, with different schedules, but with a common vision for how they want to live. They joke that their kitchen island, where they bring their complaints and longings, is like church. Three of them also attend the same church in Bristol on Sundays.

    “It really feels like we’re sisters and we’re all connected by the same Father, and that’s God,” Levy said.

    The following, as told to Zoe Greenberg in separate interviews, has been edited for length and clarity and combined.

    On deciding to move in

    Levy: I tend to be the kind of person who looks for signs. Like, “Should I do this?” I felt like the Lord was really leading me toward this house.

    Even before the house was intentionally Christian, Ike hosted worship nights for neighbors and friends. Monica Herndon / Staff Photographer

    On welcoming new housemates

    Ike: Any time a woman moves into the house, we have a long hangout, and we get to know her. We go over personality types. We go over pet peeves. Are you a night owl or a morning person? How do you prefer to handle conflict? All of the things that you would want to know about someone that you’re going to be spending your life with.

    On becoming a ‘house of discipleship’

    Levy: No one’s trying to be Christian here. It’s not a rigid thing. All the girls that come in, it’s like they carry something that someone else in the house is going to need.

    Ike: There’s a term called ‘disciple’ in Scripture. Jesus had 12 disciples. He taught them everything he knew, and he always directed people back to God. Oftentimes, I’ll talk about this as a discipleship house. When it started, I was certainly discipling a lot of young women who needed direction in life. Now it’s like we are discipling each other.

    On whether non-believers can live there

    Ike: I always tell people, you don’t have to share our faith to be a part of this home, but I want them to know that it is the central thing that glues us. It’s in all of our conversations. When someone comes home and they’re having a hard day, we sit and we listen and we pray with them.

    On being a landlord among peers

    Ike: I have been very adamant about that — don’t treat me like a landlord. I am just one of y’all, but when something needs to be done, come and call me, and I’ll get it done right away. It allows me to feel like I’m at home with my sisters and not on the job all the time.

    On house rules

    Ike: With six women, we do not have men overnight. My experience has taught me that it’s really easy to get into conflict when we don’t know your boyfriend as well as you know your boyfriend. If you want to go spend time at his house, that’s fine. We also don’t do drug use.

    Peace Ike, right, bought the Germantown house after she had a revelation to do so. She lives there with five other women, including Kallie Jalal, left. Monica Herndon / Staff Photographer

    On kicking people out of the house

    Ike: It hasn’t always been roses. There have been girls who’ve just been dishonest, wanting to do those things that we agreed we would not do as a home. Part of the contract is when you do that, then we ask you to leave.

    On what comes next

    Levy: If anything would make me leave my sisters here, I feel like it would be a door opening for me to get my PhD or career elsewhere. And of course a man.

    Ike: When I pursue a relationship, I’m not going to live in the home with five other women with my spouse. The house can continue as a community house if there are women here who are invested in that. Anything is possible. I think that I am going to enter a season where I will enjoy some privacy with my spouse. I would love that for a short period. But then I know myself: Two years in, I’m like, “Oh, we should really rent out that spare room.”

    This story is part of a series about life partners across the Philadelphia area.

    If you want to share your story about who you’re navigating life with, romantically or otherwise, write to lifepartners@inquirer.com. We won’t publish anything without speaking to you first.

  • Dear Abby | Family gatherings marred by hate speech

    Dear Abby | Family gatherings marred by hate speech

    DEAR ABBY: All members of my family are white. When my children were smaller, an incident occurred at a family holiday. One relative has a history of making racist comments, so this time we told everyone that if it happened again, we would leave. He did, and we left. My husband raised his voice at that person and made polite excuses to everyone else about leaving early. Then we all stood up from the table, packed our things and drove two hours home instead of spending the night as originally planned.

    I will not repeat to you the comments that were made, but they were not microaggressions or subtle remarks. They were disgusting and violent, and I refuse to tolerate it. However, everyone else who was there disagreed with us. They said my husband ruined a perfectly nice family dinner and should apologize to keep the peace. I have told them repeatedly that they should apologize to us for making us stand up alone. They keep calling intervention-style family meetings to confront us about our behavior and say we need to repair the rift my husband caused. Were we out of line?

    — FAMILY FRICTION

    DEAR FAMILY FRICTION: That dinner was far from “perfectly nice.” Your husband was not out of line, and I applaud you for taking a stand. It’s too easy to downplay this kind of behavior for the sake of family harmony. By acting as a willing audience, your extended family became complicit in the hate speech. Unless they promise it will never happen again, I see no reason for you to attend any future gatherings with this questionable crowd.

    ** ** **

    DEAR ABBY: My siblings and I have a niece and nephew, our late sister’s children, both in their 40s. The niece is grounded, level-headed, and emotionally and intellectually strong. The nephew used to be like that but now can be a lot more sensitive and overly emotional and has a somewhat controlling wife.

    Our problem is that months and months, sometimes years, go by without hearing anything from them. Our nephew doesn’t return phone calls in general, but if we reach out when there’s a death or a hospitalization in the family, the niece processes things normally. Our nephew turns into a bowl of emotional jelly. He cries and is emotionally draining when we all need to pull together for someone else. When we explain that we can make time for him but that he needs to answer our calls or return them, he promises to do so but never follows through. His mental health is not good (and perhaps his wife isolates him), but we are at our wits’ end. How do we deal with this behavior?

    — EXASPERATED UNCLE IN OHIO

    DEAR UNCLE: This is the pattern your troubled nephew has established, and it isn’t likely to change. Deal with his emotionally draining behavior by making sure your niece is the one who gives him the news he needs to have. If he calls you for one of those draining conversations, limit the length and do not allow him to sap you.

  • Horoscopes: Saturday, Oct. 3, 2026

    Horoscopes: Saturday, Oct. 3, 2026

    ARIES (March 21-April 19). Have you ever courted someone who already knows you? It can be fun to watch their surprise at the tone change in the relationship. It’s exciting when relationships defy prediction.

    TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Have you ever purposely made someone miss you? Life sometimes puts time and distance between people, but it’s different when you make this happen consciously. You’ll better understand the bond. You’ll find out what the relationship is made of.

    GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Have you ever recreated a familiar dynamic with the roles reversed? A glimpse into the other person’s pressures, thrills, fears and wins will have you navigating your side of things with more insight.

    CANCER (June 22-July 22). Have you ever revisited an old pleasure to see whether it still delivers? Return to what you once loved together — maybe a restaurant, song or game. By going to the past, you’ll learn about the current state of the relationship.

    LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Have you ever asked what your jealousy thinks it is protecting? Beneath its wild conclusions may be a wish for reassurance that the relationship with you is special. Jealousy can reveal what you want before you’re fully aware of it.

    VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Have you ever spent time apart just for the pleasure of reuniting? A little separation gives each person fresh material so when you come back together you have something new to exchange.

    LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Have you ever traded secrets with someone you love? Each person chooses one revelation and offers it without demanding an equal degree of scandal. The thrill lies in being trusted with private information and learning there’s still much to know.

    SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Have you ever studied the younger version of someone you love? Look through old photographs, play their former favorite songs and ask what once consumed them. Meeting the person they used to be can explain much about the person beside you.

    SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Have you ever stopped performing one of the qualities that helped attract someone? Retire the wit. Withhold a bit of competence. Dial back the glamour. Release the job of fascinating them and let another part of you take over.

    CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Have you ever asked, “What do you miss about me when we’re not together?” It’s a question best aimed at those with a deep appreciation for the details. You might be surprised what they notice.

    AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Have you ever tried to feel another person through objects? A sweater, key or borrowed book can hold the energy. Giving it back may end the waiting, change its meaning or clear space for another story.

    PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Have you ever counted those subtle affectionate gestures, such as when someone fills your water glass or remembers what you like? Some of the strongest evidence of love is in gestures as small as making a plate for you at the party.

    TODAY’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 3). You’re in your Year of Reverse Engineering when you simplify your path to the goal by beginning with the end in mind. Your brilliance really shines as you pinpoint the exact moves that will produce the desired result. More highlights: You let yourself be served and honored, as foreign as this may feel, and you’ll find that you can help people from this new position. There’s a calm assuredness around money and love. Aquarius and Aries adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 49, 2, 21, 6 and 17.

  • Northwestern runs freely over Penn State, which remains winless in Big Ten play

    Northwestern runs freely over Penn State, which remains winless in Big Ten play

    EVANSTON, Ill. — That’s one way to open an $875 million stadium.

    Northwestern’s first game in its new Ryan Field couldn’t have gone much better, as it beat Penn State, 34-13, thanks to incredible performances from running backs Joseph Himon II and Caleb Komolafe.

    The Nittany Lions’ run game recorded just 48 yards, and quarterback Rocco Becht struggled against another Big Ten opponent. The Wildcats have now beaten Penn State in back-to-back seasons.

    “I want to give Northwestern a ton of credit because they played the game, the style of game, that obviously we would like to play,” coach Matt Campbell said. “They really beat us where it was really hard to find the rhythm on both sides of the football. They controlled the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball.”

    Running amok

    After Penn State (3-2, 0-2 Big Ten) found some momentum and got on the board — on an 8-yard touchdown run by Carson Hansen with 10 minutes, 39 seconds left in the second quarter to cut Penn State’s deficit to 10-7 — Northwestern’s first play on its next drive was a 36-yard rush. Two plays later, the Wildcats (3-1, 1-1) scored on a 38-yard rushing touchdown by Himon.

    At one point, Himon was averaging 30.7 yards per carry, and, by the end, Northwestern averaged 7.5 yards per attempt.

    Part of that rushing success was because of ineffective tackling by the Nittany Lions — notably linebacker Kooper Ebel, who had multiple missed tackles that allowed the Wildcats to get past the first-down marker.

    “There were a lot of missed tackles [Friday night], and however that happened and why that happened, we’re going to have to evaluate and have a better answer as we come back next week,” Campbell said. “I think that the thing from my end of it is that part is frustrating because we tackled really well in the first four games of the season.”

    Additionally, Northwestern had nine runs of 15-plus yards and finished with 413 rushing yards after recording just 32 against Indiana last weekend.

    On top of all the yardage, all four of Northwestern’s touchdowns came on the ground. Quarterback Aidan Chiles had one, a 2-yard run in the first quarter, while Himon and Komolafe scored the other three in the second and third.

    Komolafe had 188 rushing yards and a touchdown on 25 carries, while Himon finished with 10 carries for 162 yards and two scores.

    Northwestern running back Joseph Himon II (6) recorded 162 yards on 10 carries with two touchdowns.Melissa Tamez

    Becht’s struggles continue

    Becht had his best start to a season during Penn State’s first three games. But like the Big Ten opener against Wisconsin, the Iowa State transfer looked like a shell of himself against Northwestern.

    The senior had multiple throws behind the sticks on third downs and some questionable keepers en route to 224 passing yards, one touchdown, and two interceptions.

    In two Big Ten games this year, Becht has one passing touchdown after having nine in during the nonconference slate. He has had multiple passes get deflected or tipped in both those games, two of which have led to interceptions.

    “He’s played Iowa for three years straight, so the Big Ten is not a problem,” wide receiver Chase Sowell said. “I know what he’s capable of, and I know how much he cares about us, and I know how much he cares about this place.”

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    With his team down, 31-7 in the fourth quarter, Becht connected with Sowell on a 16-yard touchdown, but he also missed multiple big opportunities. That includes when he overthrew a likely touchdown to Zay Robinson and didn’t see a wide-open Sowell in the second quarter and later threw it over tight end Andrew Rappleyea’s head on a third down. Sowell was the Nittany Lions’ leading receiver with five catches for 68 yards.

    Up next

    Penn State returns home for its annual White Out game seeking its first conference win of the season. The Nittany Lions will face Southern Cal on Oct. 10 (7:30 p.m., NBC10).

  • The U.S.-Mexico soccer rivalry returns to center stage in Saturday’s friendly

    The U.S.-Mexico soccer rivalry returns to center stage in Saturday’s friendly

    TEMPE, Ariz. — It’s understandable that the U.S. men’s soccer team had other things to think about for a while as it built toward the privilege of a World Cup on home soil.

    Now that the summer has passed, the program can turn its attention back to things it traditionally has focused on.

    The Americans will return to the Concacaf Nations League in next month’s quarterfinals and hope to reach March’s final four. Next summer brings the biennial Gold Cup, the official crowning of the continent’s top team.

    Along with renewing old acquaintances, the U.S. is returning to tournaments it failed to win last year. The Nations League was an especially bad failure: losses to Panama in the semifinals and Canada in the third-place game led to manager Mauricio Pochettino tearing down a complacent squad.

    Mauricio Pochettino (right) during Friday’s U.S. practice in Phoenix.Jonathan Tannenwald

    But before those competitions, there will be what Pochettino likes to call “nonofficial” matchups with the U.S.’s two biggest rivals: Mexico on Saturday in Glendale, Ariz. (10 p.m., TNT, Telemundo 62), and Canada on Tuesday in St. Paul, Minn. (8 p.m., TNT, Universo).

    The first matchup is the bigger of the two, with all due respect to the Canucks and fiery Wisconsin-born manager Jesse Marsch. Even he knows that U.S.-Mexico is the continent’s most famous clash.

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    El Tri is also the most common opponent the U.S. has faced, with 92 previous meetings dating back to 1934. But it’s been 15 months since the last meeting, matching the longest gap in a decade and a half.

    The absence hasn’t really made hearts grow fonder. It has been evident, though, since a new generation of American players is set for an initiation.

    Cavan Sullivan (center) could be in line for his first game against Mexico with the senior U.S. national team.Jonathan Tannenwald

    “Every young player that’s coming to camp has watched these games growing up, I’m sure of it,” said veteran midfielder Tyler Adams, who this week regained the U.S. team’s captaincy. “They understand what these games are like and what they need to do to be able to have an impact on it. But at the same time, it’s an opportunity for them to get thrown into the deep end as well and really get their feet wet.”

    That will include facing a pro-Mexico crowd, as typically is the case when the teams meet in friendlies. Over 60,000 tickets have been sold at the 63,400-seat State Farm Stadium, home of the Arizona Cardinals.

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    “It’s about [helping] to build our character, if we have some adversity — for that group, it’s going to be good,” Pochettino said. “I celebrate this, to have this type of game to play in a difficult atmosphere, and I think that for sure is going to help for the future.”

    Right-flank playmaker Sergiño Dest was introduced to the rivalry in a 2019 friendly in which the U.S. was blown out in the Meadowlands. Two years later, he helped the Americans win an epic Nations League final, the first of three straight titles in the tournament.

    “These games, I feel like it’s the real culture and the real passion of football,” he said. “Playing with America against Mexico is one of the best games here, and it’s going to be a tough game.”

    Mexico snapped the U.S.’s streak last year, though the Americans did it to themselves just as much. Four months later, El Tri won the Gold Cup final against an American squad that lacked many top players but was full of controversy: Christian Pulisic’s withdrawal, the Club World Cup running consecutively, and Pochettino’s benchings.

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    Since then, Mexico has stood alone atop the podium, owning all five Concacaf men’s titles: the Nations League, the Gold Cup, and the under-20, under-17, and under-15 championships.

    Adams admitted that the team hasn’t talked about the big picture much, as there’s enough on the collective plate during this busy window of friendlies. But he said it is worth discussing.

    Tyler Adams (third from right) with his teammates at Friday’s practice.Jonathan Tannenwald

    “Football swings back and forth and [has] different momentum, and you go through phases and rebuilding periods and all these different periods — but that doesn’t take away from the rivalry of what this game is and how important it is for us to win,” Adams said. “We obviously want it to swing back in our favor, but that starts without performance. We know that if we perform at a high level, and we do the things that we’re supposed to in the right way, that we obviously can, but it’s a difficult game, and we need to make sure that we go out there and compete.”

    So while Saturday’s game is just a friendly, it’s a chance to make an opening statement in the 2030 World Cup cycle.

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    And if there’s a little brimstone along the way, it will be nothing new.

    “There was a glimpse of the fire that teams like that can bring at the end of the Chile game,” left back Antonee Robinson said, referring to a benches-clearing brawl on Thursday that sparked when La Roja’s Leandro Hernández prodded U.S. goalkeeper Brian Schwake after he had claimed the ball. “So we’ve just been saying to the young boys that you’re going to expect that and a lot more when we play against Mexico.”